3min readCareer 21 November 2019
Why don't women support each other? A question that I often ask myself, and is not easily answered. I keep reading articles about why women should support one another; and I'm sure many do, but more than likely, not enough. I have typically not had that experience, I wish I did more, because I enjoy the banter between women; I have a lot of female friends, and four sisters. I relish in supporting other women; I have mentored teen girls, and loved doing it; to the point where some of the teens I have mentored, to this day, still keep in touch with me. It makes me feel really good, and this is why it is so vital to everyone concerned.
A few women bosses I have had in the past, seemed to have their own agenda. I had seen, of course, bullying. And other behaviors such as being set up to fail, and as in my previous article; being followed to the bathroom, constant monitoring, given unreasonable expectations, belittled, and treated as a subservient. One former boss even suggested I take former convicts in my car, to help me move boxes; was that for real? These behaviors have lasting effects on a person's psyche; not at all fun! Why do other women want you to feel inadequate and incapable? It makes me sad when I think about these things. It's really a win-win situation to support one another. Working as a team promotes healthy work relationships and is conducive to work being accomplished in the workplace.
I may come across as biased, but it seems to me in my experience that is is easier to work for a male. Just about every single male boss I have had, was upfront, approachable, and did not have a hidden agenda. I tend to think with a man, "what you see, is what you get" (but as with everything else, not 100% of the time; because I was told by someone close to me that her boss ( a man was "the devil"). However, I can honestly say, that I did have the pleasure of working for some wonderful female bosses who possessed the same qualities. But in considering the length of my career, not too many. When I think back, I only have fond memories of these women.
I enjoy it when friends, acquaintances, or one of my sister's tells me that she has a good woman boss; it am so happy to hear this. I say to myself that they are fortunate and to embrace it. Today's women have so many expectations on them, and working a full time job as a boss, can be intimidating I guess in several ways. They feel they have to work harder, longer, and have more to prove; they want to look good for their boss, and the company they work for. I have felt that as well.
As I feel as with bullying, employees who bully (in general; or in the workplace), must not feel very good about themselves. I feel secure enough in myself, (I genuinely like myself as a person), so I would not engage in these tactics. I have seen so much "nonsense", as I call it in my working career thus far. Game playing, you name it. It really makes me wonder what is going on? One former boss in particular, would weasel their way out of doing just about anything. They were paid enormously well, knew just how to manipulate people working them to somehow do their job, and make themselves look good in the process. They took pleasure in holding you back; not letting you ever get ahead. Gave their staff a hard time when it came to time off, but they would take a month off to travel overseas.
As I said before, there was an agenda. They were all about themselves. But the good news is, that after they left the company, all was discovered, along with many other infractions, and they would not be allowed to return to the company. I have said this before, and truly, truly, believe it, "what goes around, comes around", This person was very much disliked and consistently used big words to make everyone around them, seem as if they were stupid; and they were superior - please! What a way to go through life!.
When I had a 'not so nice' boss (in general), I actually felt like I didn't want to do my work, and well while I had to, didn't care because I wasn't being supported or heard. Which is not good for the company you work for, or for yourself especially if you are one who takes pride in their work. You often end up leaving your position (transferring to another department), getting another job, etc...what a hassle. When I've had bosses who actually listened, cared, and supported me I did better work and in general felt good about myself and the work I was doing. Makes sense, right? I wish more women would think about the way they act and treat others. It would be so much easier, and more pleasant. Working is hard in itself, and to go to work everyday, and not be listened to or supported really stinks. So, after all is said and done, it really is better to be kind, understanding, and actually listen to your co-workers. So much good and so much more can come of it. I know when I was in charge of being the boss of other women, I always paid attention, cared for them, and was understanding and never set them up for failure. I hope again in the future, I do have a women boss, and I hope she will show me the same respect as I would show her.
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If you needed to hire a professional to let's say cater a dinner, head your marketing department, or perhaps act as an expert for you on a legal matter. How would you expect them to dress?
I will take a guess here and say you imagine each person with a different look, vibe, and as presenting themselves in unique ways. If their style fell short of what's perceived to be acceptable within their industry, you may even underestimate their skill set. You may question their ability to be trustworthy, confident, or knowledgeable.
You've probably already heard the phrases, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have" or Look good, feel good." But there's a lot more to appropriate styling for the workplace than just those two outlooks alone.
We, as professionals, must ask ourselves "What should I wear?" Some may reach for a suit and tie or heels and a dress, while others simply throw on jeans and a sweater. But while the latter might be an appropriate style for certain industries, it might not be for others. It is important to understand that different markets often have a distinctive (and often unspoken) unofficial dress code.
You've probably already heard the phrases, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have" or Look good, feel good." But there's a lot more to appropriate styling for the workplace than just those two outlooks alone. Popular job-posting source Indeed outlines that, "There are varying levels of business attire ranging from "casual" to "business formal." Based on the setting, you can decide which kind of business attire is appropriate."
However, depending on your industry, we may need to get a little more specific Let's break it down so you decide what's befitting.It is important to understand that different markets often have a distinctive (and often unspoken) unofficial dress code.
Marketing & Advertising
The era of Mad Men has passed... Long gone are the days of blue suits, skinny ties, and midday-martinis. This industry has taken a more casual but still presentable approach to dress... Think more like khakis paired with a smart blazer or sweater for or, perhaps, a dark skinny jean with wedge shoes and a silk blouse pulled together with a sweater-knit jacket.
Finance & Law
Think traditional, classic dress. Your clothes should be tailored and well-fitting. These companies usually have strict dress codes, so keep your attire to colors like black, navy, and grey. Shoes should be closed-toe (for women) and a cap-toe or lace-up loafer for the men.
Here you are open to a fuller range of clothing styles. However, (and this is a big one), make sure you dress for your audience and your brand. Remember, you could be presenting in front of potential clients, and if your outfit is not cohesive to your company's ideals and identity you may leave your viewers confused.
Casual smart — very comfortable, if you're working in a lab. Think professor-type, right? Bow ties and blazers for men and dress slacks, sweaters, with low-heeled shoes for women. Limit the jewelry and long nails.
There are casual days in this industry, usually one or two days a week. Men can wear polo shirts, collared shirts, or sweaters with khakis or dress pants, and dress shoes — a tie is not necessary. For women, conservative dresses, skirts, collared shirts, sweaters, dress pants, and dress shoes or boots are acceptable. But if you work for a more conservative company like Deloitte, you may want to refer to your employee handbook, as you may be expected to dress more professionally.
Software & Technology
Dress like you don't care but don't look sloppy. The tech industry has gotten it's distinct dressing style straight out of Silicon Valley from the likes of Zuckerberg, Dorsey, and Bezos. T-shirts, vests, jeans, and sneakers are the norm. You can find many brands to outfit your day, so it's important to select pieces of clothing that are stylish, modern with a flair… items that say "I care about how I look," though you may not care about fashion.
Style is confidence, expressed through clothing.
With all of this being said, keep in mind that you need to be cognizant of the environment. If you're unsure how to dress ask your human resources department for what is generally considered appropriate.
One last point: dress authentically. You should wear clothes that make you feel confident, clothes that represent who you are intrinsically and professionally. Power up your sleeves, take control of your future, and move forward.
Style is confidence, expressed through clothing.