#SWAAYthenarrative

This SoulCycle Instructor Encourages You To Love Your Belly Jelly

Health

It's no secret that body image issues run rampant in today's toxic culture of lookism. Far too many women strive not for health but for the coveted “ideal" body that society applauds, indirectly scorning the bodies that fail to meet that ideal as a result. This persistent striving for skinny has deleterious effects on one's mind and body. According to Mirror Mirror up to 30 million people in the United States suffer from various eating disorders. Jenny Gaither, Master SoulCycle instructor, Notorious F.I.T trainer (a hip-hop cardio class), and Founder of the Movemeant Foundation, has made it her mission to fight back against these issues. She promotes body positivity and instills it in the minds of young girls so that they can grow up loving the skin they are in.


"My parents really believed that sports and fitness were a great way to keep kids out of trouble, so they put me in basketball and baseball and hockey and swimming...I tried everything. I was just so bad at sports. I have a very vivid memory of when I was seven years old dancing across the basketball court, so my parents were like, 'Okay, so she's really not an athlete, but I think she might be a dancer"

Gaither's passion for fitness was sparked by the popular moving-and-grooving form of exercise known as dance. However, dance was not the first route taken by Gaither, her parents initially leading her down the classic sports path. “My parents really believed that sports and fitness were a great way to keep kids out of trouble, so they put me in basketball and baseball and hockey and swimming...I tried everything," Gaither says. "I was just so bad at sports. I have a very vivid memory of when I was seven years old dancing across the basketball court, so my parents were like, 'Okay, so she's really not an athlete, but I think she might be a dancer.'" Tap, jazz, modern, ballet—Gaither did it all, dance quickly becoming her happy place.

“At that young age of seven, I felt the most confident and empowered in my own skin while dancing. It changed my life."

But Gaither's happiness was not sustained by the competitive dance world. After attending the University of Illinois on a dance scholarship, dance became dangerously focused on appearance. “Through that time, slowly, dance became something that wasn't as much of a release anymore and it became something that I started to hate and resent," Gaither explains. “I was told multiple times that I was too fat, I was very muscular, I wasn't lanky and thin and that's the look they were looking for. At some point I was like, 'This is supposed to be the place where I can really be myself and feel confident, and all the sudden, I have an eating disorder.'" This unfair pressure to fit in as a slender dancer prompted Gaither to desert the competitive dance scene and search for work that aligned with her passion for fitness and leading a healthy lifestyle.

Her search led her to NYC straight out of college, and she quickly found what she was looking for. In walks—or rather pedals—SoulCycle. Everyone has heard of SoulCycle, but not everyone knows that it's about more than simply hopping onto a bike and riding until you can't walk and sweat is pouring down your back like you've just been doused with a hose. It fosters a community and is effective in creating confidence in the people who give their souls to it for an 45 minutes. “I found SoulCycle, and it was the first time in a dark room on a stationary bike that I was able to tap into what I felt in my first dance class, which was strong," Gaither admits. “And it was the first time that strong actually felt good. It was something I felt proud of, rather than ashamed of. I walked out of that class and thought every woman should have the opportunity to find something where they really connect with their bodies and feel good moving in their bodies, and they eat because it gives them fuel to move. That's when we build healthy relationships with ourselves, and that's when we feel unstoppable."

Gaither was also personal training as a pilates instructor at the time, so she was encouraging women to connect with their strength and bodies every day; an experience that proved to be eye-opening. Gaither saw the women she was training struggle with the same body image issues that she did, and she decided it was time to do something about the body negativity shrouding even the most successful of people. “Many of the women that I was working with lived in these amazing lofts in Soho, you know, they had these careers that I'd dreamed of having, and they were really unhappy because they never felt enough in their bodies," Gaither says. “They were too fat, they were overweight—in their head. And that wasn't actually real. It was just the pressure they felt from society. I noticed a pattern." This realization acted as a wake-up call for Gaither, so she did what many never do when recognizing a problem, she took action.

“I realized that everyone deals with body image issues, everyone deals with moments in which they punish themselves with overeating, undereating, over-exercising, under-exercising, and that means we need to have a conversation about it. This was when nothing was really being broadcasted in the media especially about body positivity...there wasn't really an organization that was creating change, and so I saw a space and a need. I really wanted to do something to help, but I was at the stage where I was still struggling with my own issues and insecurities. So I was like, 'I should probably figure out my own stuff first before I try to help everyone else. I was insecure of my stomach, and I called the little rolls of my belly my belly jelly."

Gaither challenged her SoulCycle class to bare their skin and wear only a sports bra—no jacket, no tank top, nothing hiding their stomachs. It was a moment of joyous freedom for Gaither and her class, finding the courage as a group to show their bodies and be proud of them, even if insecurities lingered. After this simple but paramount moment, Gaither felt she was finally ready to start the organization she'd been dreaming up in her head: The Movemeant Foundation. The Movemeant Foundation is all about body positivity found through moving your body, ingrained in women and girls by two impact channels and charity fitness events called Dare to Bare.

The two impact channels are truly and profoundly impacting the lives of young girls. The first is the Movemeant Body-Positive Curriculum which is based in San Francisco and is currently starting in NY and Chicago. For this curriculum, the Movemeant team goes into primarily Title I middle schools—they are hoping to move into high schools as well—and facilitates 15 to 20 minutes of body-positive conversation after lunch. “It can be anything around mindfulness, body awareness, genetics, how we're all created to look and be different, how your body changes a million times in your life—literally every day, and how to build that healthy relationship with your body," Gaither says. “[That healthy relationship] is gained by talking about nutrition and diet and sleep and the whole picture, meditation, the stories that you create in your head, it's very whole-body. Mind, body, and spirit connected."

On the #ShePlaysWeWin Scholarship: "These girls not only get the funds and the means and the tools and the community, but they also get these beautiful photographs of themselves that they can look back on and remember that moment that was so empowering and changed their life." Photo courtesy of movemeantfoundation.org

The second impact channel is the #ShePlaysWeWin international, athletic scholarship, Movemeant partnering with photographer, Christin Rose, whose specialty is photographing girls excelling in sports. “We found her on Instagram and wanted to immediately partner with her because she really captures that moment of so much joy on one of the girl's face when going off a halfpipe or something like that," Gaither says. “So we said, 'Our girls are not into extreme sports, but these are girls who are moving for the first time.'" And the partnership was formed. If given the scholarship, a young girl receives $1000+ to fund a sport that they are passionate about, fulfilling their mind-body need for an active lifestyle. “These girls not only get the funds and the means and the tools and the community, but they also get these beautiful photographs of themselves that they can look back on and remember that moment that was so empowering and changed their life," Gaither says, the smile evident in her voice.

Food is fuel, as any fitness expert will attest to, so Gaither stresses the importance of filling up your body with nutritious foods, and plenty of them. At every Movemeant event held, all-natural food brands are incorporated, Splenda being the most recent addition—coming in sweet with their stevia. “We promote brands with missions that align with ours," Gaither explains. “Splenda is one of our biggest partners on this in helping people achieve a healthy, balanced lifestyle, so it just made sense, and at the events they have a space for our attendees to create this awesome intention wall where you can write manifestos and inspire people at the event with your words and yourself. Also fueling our participants, so there's a DIY yogurt bar before and after workouts."

“I think the biggest issue we all struggle with is feeling isolated in all of our issues—in our sadness, and in our pain, especially when it comes to insecurities around the body. It's something that is totally universal, and everyone, even men, can relate to it in some capacity." Photo courtesy of Emilie Bers

Gaither is human, just like the rest of us, so cravings creep in on occasion. What is her guilty pleasure meal? Pancakes—but she reinvents them to be perfectly acceptable for a delicious, healthful breakfast. “I weirdly love pancakes," Gaither says. “I love breakfast for any meal, so I'll do almond flour, banana, Splenda Naturals stevia, and eggs, and that's it, and you can whip it up and it's super healthy, you can add protein powder as well to get that extra fiber." A second tasty, good-for-you breakfast of Gaither's? Oatmeal, topped with peanut butter and cacao nibs. “Are you hungry yet?" Gaither asks with a laugh. I'm sure we all are!

If you dare to bare, there's a Movemeant 5k coming up in September that may appeal to both runners and non-runners (and even running-haters) alike. It's not your average run-sweat-finish race, it has a unique and fun twist: after you cross the finish line, you dance! Gaither added that the event will be in the land of her alma mater, making a poetic full circle while highlighting Gaither's own success and growth over the years since she graduated.

Gaither has learned a thing or two, and she has a wealth of sage health advice to help people find peace with their bodies. “You're not alone," she insists. “I think the biggest issue we all struggle with is feeling isolated in all of our issues—in our sadness, and in our pain, especially when it comes to insecurities around the body. It's something that is totally universal, and everyone, even men, can relate to it in some capacity. I'm a body positive health life coach who's been teaching for 15 years, and I woke up today feeling super bloated. I had that total moment of weakness looking in the mirror and being like, 'Ew, you look fat today.' The thing with our brain is that we create habits, and it's super hard to change a habit. Sometimes, the things in our heads, the stories that play instantly will always turn on, but that doesn't mean that you can't turn them off."

When Gaither experiences moments of body negativity, she reveals her go-to pick-me-ups as being taking the time to enjoy a healthy meal, going for a walk outside, or working out with a friend. “I think as soon as you get that sweat on and feel refueled with foods that make you energized, you kind of snap out of it and forget about it," she says. “It's about practicing over and over again."

3 Min Read
Lifestyle

Tempted To Dial Your Ex: 5 Ways To Know Whether Or Not You Should Contact An Old Flame

Thinking of ringing up your ex during these uncertain times? Maybe you want an excuse to contact your ex, or maybe you genuinely feel the need to connect with someone on an emotional level. As a matchmaker and relationship expert, I was surprised at the start of the coronavirus quarantine when friends were telling me that they were contacting their exes! But as social distancing has grown to be more than a short-term situation, we must avoid seeking short-term solutions—and resist the urge to dial an ex.

It stands to reason that you would contact an ex for support. After all, who knows you and your fears better than an ex? This all translates into someone who you think can provide comfort and support. As a matchmaker, I already know that people can spark and ignite relationships virtually that can lead to offline love, but lonely singles didn't necessarily believe this or understand this initially, which drives them straight back to a familiar ex. You only need to tune into Love Is Blind to test this theory or look to Dina Lohan and her virtual boyfriend.

At the start of lockdown, singles were already feeling lonely. There were studies that said as much as 3 out of 4 people were lonely, and that was before lockdown. Singles were worried that dating someone was going to be off limits for a very long time. Now when you factor in a widespread pandemic and the psychological impact that hits when you have to be in isolation and can't see anyone but your takeout delivery person, we end up understanding this urge to contact an ex.

So, what should you do if you are tempted to ring up an old flame? How do you know if it's the wrong thing or the right thing to do in a time like this? Check out a few of my points before deciding on picking up that phone to text, much less call an ex.

Before You Dial The Ex...

First, you need to phone a friend! It's the person that got you through this breakup to begin with. Let them remind you of the good, the bad and the ugly before taking this first step and risk getting sucked back in.

What was the reason for your breakup? As I mentioned before, you could get sucked back in… but that might not be a bad thing. It depends; when you phoned that friend to remind you, did she remind you of good or bad things during the breakup? It's possible that you both just had to take jobs in different cities, and the breakup wasn't due to a problem in the relationship. Have these problems resolved if there were issues?

You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you.

Depending on the reason for the breakup, set your boundaries for how much contact beforehand. If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.

If you know you shouldn't be contacting this ex but feel lonely, set up a support system ahead of time. Set up activities or things to fall back on to resist the urge. Maybe you phone a different friend, join a virtual happy hour for singles, or binge watch Netflix. Anything else is acceptable, but don't phone that ex.

Write down your reasons for wanting to contact the ex. Ask yourself if this is worth the pain. Are you flea-bagging again, or is there a friendship to be had, which will provide you with genuine comfort? If it's the latter, it's okay to go there. If it's an excuse to go back together and make contact, don't.

Decide how far you are willing to take the relationship this time, without it being a rinse and repeat. If you broke up for reasons beyond your control, it's okay. If your ex was a serial cheater, phone a friend instead.

If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.

As life returns to a more normal state and you adjust to the new normal, we will slowly begin to notice more balance in our lives. You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you. Some do's and don'ts for this time would be:

  • Do: exercise ⁠— taking care of you is important during this time. It's self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
  • Do: shower, brush your teeth, and get out of your sweats.
  • Don't: be a couch potato.
  • Don't: drink or eat excessively during this time. Again, remember to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
  • Do: think positive thoughts everyday and write down the 3 things you are grateful for. Look at the impact of John Krasinksi's SGN. It's uplifting and when you feel good, you won't want to slide backwards.
  • Don't: contact a toxic ex. It's a backward move in a moment of uncertainty that could have a long term impact. Why continue flea bagging yourself?