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HELP! My Date is Uncircumcised and I’m Grossed Out!

4 Min Read
Lifestyle

Email armchairpsychologist@swaaymedia.com to get the advice you need!

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Dear Armchair Psychologist
I'm dating a gorgeous guy, and we have amazing chemistry. We finally got hot and heavy and this is when I found out he's uncircumcised! I got completely grossed out and didn't know what to do. I ended up giving him a BJ to appease him, but I was quite disgusted, also his penis smelled funny. I've heard a lot of awful stories about men that aren't circumcised and mainly that it's unhygienic. This literally has brought me to a halt and all the amazing sex I was looking forward to has come to a standstill. Is something wrong with me?
- Too Much Skin

Dear Too Much Skin,

I'm sorry that you've missed out on a nice hookup due to the ghastly sight of an uncircumcised phallus with an unpleasant odor. I hope your date didn't notice your aversion as that might have been very hurtful. I suspect you're harboring a natural bias against uncircumcised penises simply because they're unfamiliar to you and you're not informed. Circumcision is extremely common across continents and is performed for religious or cultural reasons. There are health benefits to circumcision which involve lower risk for penile cancer and, speculatively, lower risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Also, there are some hygiene benefits to being circumcised. However, there are no proven downsides to being uncircumcised or "au natural" so long as a man practices good hygiene. Furthermore, an uncircumcised penis actually comes prepared with lubrication from the smegma that develops under the foreskin, making your sexual experience even better. You'd be surprised to know that most men in the world are actually uncircumcised, whereas 37–39% of men are circumcised. (In the US, however, 80.5% of men are circumcised.) It sounds like your date might have some issues with hygiene. If he's worth your time, I'd recommend having a gentle chat with him about this and get back on that unsnipped horse once he fixes it!

- The Armchair Psychologist

HELP! I Forget People and Names!

Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I'm a young startup CEO and am going to A LOT of networking events and meeting a lot of people. Can you recommend any tools to keep track of the people I meet and what we talked about?
- Bizzay

Dear Bizzay,

Congrats on becoming the CEO of a startup at a young age. You are the envy of every millennial who dreams of changing the world while perhaps also stumbling upon a unicorn or two. It's evident you truly understand the value of building relationships since you want to improve here. Apps like insightly and nutshell are fantastic CRM tools for tracking your relationships, but that does not solve the dilemma you have here.

I suspect the real question is why aren't you spending enough time on organization? Organization of your contacts, your conversations, etc. (the fruits of your hard work and networking) is a serious task — you'd have to carve out a half-day just for that. This great article highlights that "organized people aren't born; they're built." Some people are naturally organized and even pedantic about details, others not so much. For myself, it doesn't come naturally and on any given day I've missed meetings, forgotten to follow up, and lost my phone to remember all of the aforementioned — so I had to start incorporating habits and carve out time for organizing. I suggest you include organization into your mindset and habits; it can play a great part in your success story.- The Armchair Psychologist

Need more armchair psychologist in your life? Check out the last installment or email armchairpsychologist@swaaymedia.com to get some advice of your own!

How to Learn Much More From the Books You Read

It is one thing to read and another thing to understand what you are reading. Not only do you want to understand, but also remember what you've read. Otherwise, we can safely say that if we're not gaining anything from what we read, then it's a big waste of time.

Whatever you read, there are ways to do so in a more effective manner to help you understand better. Whether you are reading by choice, for an upcoming test, or work-related material, here are a few ways to help you improve your reading skills and retain that information.

Read with a Purpose

Never has there been a shortage of great books. So, someone recommended a great cookbook for you. You start going through it, but your mind is wandering. This doesn't mean the cookbook was an awful recommendation, but it does mean it doesn't suit nor fulfill your current needs or curiosity.

Maybe your purpose is more about launching a business. Maybe you're a busy mom and can't keep office hours, but there's something you can do from home to help bring in more money, so you want information about that. At that point, you won't benefit from a cookbook, but you could gain a lot of insight and find details here on how-to books about working from home. During this unprecedented year, millions have had to make the transition to work from home, and millions more are deciding to do that. Either way, it's not a transition that comes automatically or easily, but reading about it will inform you about what working from home entails.

Pre-Read

When you pre-read it primes your brain when it's time to go over the full text. We pre-read by going over the subheadings, for instance, the table of contents, and skimming through some pages. This is especially useful when you have formal types of academic books. Pre-reading is a sort of warm-up exercise for your brain. It prepares your brain for the rest of the information that will come about and allows your brain to be better able to pick the most essential pieces of information you need from your chosen text.

Highlight

Highlighting essential sentences or paragraphs is extremely helpful for retaining information. The problem, however, with highlighting is that we wind up highlighting way too much. This happens because we tend to highlight before we begin to understand. Before your pages become a neon of colored highlights, make sure that you only highlight what is essential to improve your understanding and not highlight the whole page.

Speed Read

You might think there have been no new ways to read, but even the ancient skill of reading comes up with innovative ways; enter speed reading. The standard slow process shouldn't affect your understanding, but it does kill your enthusiasm. The average adult goes through around 200 to 250 words per minute. A college student can read around 450 words, while a professor averages about 650 words per minute, to mention a few examples. The average speed reader can manage 1,500 words; quite a difference! Of course, the argument arises between quality and quantity. For avid readers, they want both quantity and quality, which leads us to the next point.

Quality Reading

Life is too short to expect to gain knowledge from just one type of genre. Some basic outcomes of reading are to expand your mind, perceive situations and events differently, expose yourself to other viewpoints, and more. If you only stick to one author and one type of material, you are missing out on a great opportunity to learn new things.

Having said that, if there's a book you are simply not enjoying, remember that life is also too short to continue reading it. Simply, close it, put it away and maybe give it another go later on, or give it away. There is no shame or guilt in not liking a book; even if it's from a favorite author. It's pretty much clear that you won't gain anything from a book that you don't even enjoy, let alone expect to learn something from it.

Summarize

If you're able to summarize what you have read, then you have understood. When you summarize, you are bringing up all the major points that enhance your understanding. You can easily do so chapter by chapter.

Take a good look at your life and what's going on in it. Accordingly, you'll choose the material that is much more suitable for your situation and circumstances. When you read a piece of information that you find beneficial, look for a way to apply it to your life. Knowledge for the sake of knowledge isn't all that beneficial. But the application of knowledge from a helpful book is what will help you and make your life more interesting and more meaningful.