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HELP! My Date is Uncircumcised and I’m Grossed Out!

4 Min Read
Lifestyle

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Dear Armchair Psychologist
I'm dating a gorgeous guy, and we have amazing chemistry. We finally got hot and heavy and this is when I found out he's uncircumcised! I got completely grossed out and didn't know what to do. I ended up giving him a BJ to appease him, but I was quite disgusted, also his penis smelled funny. I've heard a lot of awful stories about men that aren't circumcised and mainly that it's unhygienic. This literally has brought me to a halt and all the amazing sex I was looking forward to has come to a standstill. Is something wrong with me?
- Too Much Skin

Dear Too Much Skin,

I'm sorry that you've missed out on a nice hookup due to the ghastly sight of an uncircumcised phallus with an unpleasant odor. I hope your date didn't notice your aversion as that might have been very hurtful. I suspect you're harboring a natural bias against uncircumcised penises simply because they're unfamiliar to you and you're not informed. Circumcision is extremely common across continents and is performed for religious or cultural reasons. There are health benefits to circumcision which involve lower risk for penile cancer and, speculatively, lower risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Also, there are some hygiene benefits to being circumcised. However, there are no proven downsides to being uncircumcised or "au natural" so long as a man practices good hygiene. Furthermore, an uncircumcised penis actually comes prepared with lubrication from the smegma that develops under the foreskin, making your sexual experience even better. You'd be surprised to know that most men in the world are actually uncircumcised, whereas 37–39% of men are circumcised. (In the US, however, 80.5% of men are circumcised.) It sounds like your date might have some issues with hygiene. If he's worth your time, I'd recommend having a gentle chat with him about this and get back on that unsnipped horse once he fixes it!

- The Armchair Psychologist

HELP! I Forget People and Names!

Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I'm a young startup CEO and am going to A LOT of networking events and meeting a lot of people. Can you recommend any tools to keep track of the people I meet and what we talked about?
- Bizzay

Dear Bizzay,

Congrats on becoming the CEO of a startup at a young age. You are the envy of every millennial who dreams of changing the world while perhaps also stumbling upon a unicorn or two. It's evident you truly understand the value of building relationships since you want to improve here. Apps like insightly and nutshell are fantastic CRM tools for tracking your relationships, but that does not solve the dilemma you have here.

I suspect the real question is why aren't you spending enough time on organization? Organization of your contacts, your conversations, etc. (the fruits of your hard work and networking) is a serious task — you'd have to carve out a half-day just for that. This great article highlights that "organized people aren't born; they're built." Some people are naturally organized and even pedantic about details, others not so much. For myself, it doesn't come naturally and on any given day I've missed meetings, forgotten to follow up, and lost my phone to remember all of the aforementioned — so I had to start incorporating habits and carve out time for organizing. I suggest you include organization into your mindset and habits; it can play a great part in your success story.- The Armchair Psychologist

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3 min read
Lifestyle

Help! My Friend Is a No Show

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Help! My Friend Is a No Show

Dear Armchair Psychologist,

I have a friend who doesn't reply to my messages about meeting for dinner, etc. Although, last week I ran into her at a local restaurant of mine, it has always been awkward to be friends with her. Should I continue our friendship or discontinue it? We've been friends for a total four years and nothing has changed. I don't feel as comfortable with her as my other close friends, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reach that comfort zone in pure friendship.

-Sadsies

Dear Sadsies,

I am sorry to hear you've been neglected by your friend. You may already have the answer to your question, since you're evaluating the non-existing bond between yourself and your friend. However, I'll gladly affirm to you that a friendship that isn't reciprocated is not a good friendship.



I have had a similar situation with a friend whom I'd grown up with but who was also consistently a very negative person, a true Debby Downer. One day, I just had enough of her criticism and vitriol. I stopped making excuses for her and dumped her. It was a great decision and I haven't looked back. With that in mind, it could be possible that something has changed in your friend's life, but it's insignificant if she isn't responding to you. It's time to dump her and spend your energy where it's appreciated. Don't dwell on this friend. History is not enough to create a lasting bond, it only means just that—you and your friend have history—so let her be history!



- The Armchair Psychologist

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