Hey, we all have to have a little fun every once in a while... even on a weeknight!
Sure, have a great time, but we're also all grown-ups and have to wake up in the morning and go about our routines. If you've ever had too much fun the night before only to find yourself suffering through work the next morning (we've all been there) you know the struggle. A few women shared their horrifying hungover at work stories — and how they handled it. Then, we share some tips on how to avoid this happening next time!
1. The dreaded arrival to work in last night's outfit.
“Years ago, I was working an event in Manchester, I was living in London at the time. It was meant to be a 'day work thing'. My colleague and I met some 'famous actors from LA' who were filming a movie, we were partying — hard. Missed the last train back to London. Decided to carry on partying. I got the first-morning train from Manchester to London, did the walk of shame to my office in last nights clothes and makeup. Got to my desk just in time. The GM walked past my desk and said 'You look very dressed up today,' to which I responded, 'Thank you! I have some important meetings today so wanted to make an effort!' Though he replied with a cheerful, 'That's' the spirit.' Internally I was dying. And still drunk. Once the 'drunken' state turned to 'hangover hell', I booked a last minute very important meeting and just left and went home early."
2. The drink-induced international conference call mid birthday bash.
“I have a couple of stories but one where I was called into work while out drinking heavily to celebrate my birthday while working at a major broadcaster. Signed my buddy into work with me. He passed out in a co-workers cube under the desk while I led an international conference call, barely coherent. I've got other unmentionable details that shouldn't be mentioned here. Also, baby aspirin before bed and one glass of water per drink tends to kill the hangover for me."
3. The Christmas party hangover that never ends.
“I was 22 years old and working as an account assistant at a PR agency in Boston in the winter of 2000. This was still in the heyday of holiday parties, when budgets hadn't been slashed, and you looked forward to dressing up and going somewhere fancy to celebrate. We were invited with a guest, so I took my best friend/roommate/partner in crime as my plus-one.
It was open bar of course, which we took advantage of ASAP, especially since both of us were making paltry salaries out of college and were still capable of consuming copious amounts of liquor... or so I thought. Cut to me, ordering round of lemon drops or kamikaze shots for the entire agency and basically talking smack/force-feeding one to one of the VPs. Then cut to me making out drunkenly in the coat closet with an account supervisor. Everything else was blurry.
The next morning, I downed Advil and water, attempted to febreeze the smell of cigarettes (this was when smoking was still allowed in bars — and though I was not a smoker — many people I worked with were) and liquor off of my hair/coat, picked up a bagel egg and cheese on my commute in and overall tried my hardest to pull together and make it to the office in one piece. I hear all this water cooler chatter about several rounds of shots, impromptu karaoke (there was no microphone, for the record) and how two people were buried among winter coats smooching their faces off.
I laughed right along with them, until a friend of mine at the office pulled me aside to let me know I was the one responsible for the shots, spontaneous singing, and making out. My hangover kicked into a new stratosphere with this news, and I may or may not have spent the rest of the day trying to make myself disappear. Needless to say, I very quickly wisened up as to how much liquor to consume — or not consume — whenever at a corporate function."
4. The jungle juice saga.
So, my agency had just wrapped a major holiday campaign with one of our highest-paying clients - I had been slaving over it for months. The owner of our agency promised to take us out to a nice, fancy lunch the second it ended, so we planned it for a Thursday. Me, being a young 23-year old, thought it'd be fun to throw a holiday party at my house the night before and invited probably 70 of my friends over for cheese, crackers, and... rum punch (AKA jungle juice). Anyways, I accidentally ended up drinking so much that I passed out at about 10:30 pm — the party continued until 2 am while I was asleep — and didn't wake up until I had to head to work the next morning. I got there and was miserable, but made it through until the nice, fancy meal our owner had promised to take us out to. Well, guess who puked the whole way through lunch and couldn't even stomach one bite of her meal? Me. All in front of the owner of our agency, this incredibly well-known, powerful woman in our city. We left and I died of embarrassment and, yep, went home to sleep. That was the day I learned the most important lesson of them all: jungle juice is not meant to be consumed after age 20."
5. The awkward co-working space cubicle catch up.
“Believe it or not, I've had a few hangovers in my life, but one that I remember being especially bad was when I was around 24 and wound up on the floor of my cubicle trying to "sleep it off" for a bit. It didn't work and I wound up throwing up in the trash bin just a few steps away while my cube mates heard. I was actually in a shared office like a WeWork so all these other companies heard me wretching as well..."
6. The "where to barf" dilemma.
“A day of desk-sides in NYC was the day after the James Beard Awards and the many ensuing after parties. I was violently ill and had to spend the day in the back seat (never a good situation for me) of a car in stop and go NYC traffic. Lurch, lurch, lurch. I walked into almost every meeting praying that I could ask where the ladies room was without throwing up while trying to get the words out. I think I threw up four times before the client wanted to go the Carnegie (or some such) deli for lunch. As a vegetarian, I was further sickened when I had to watch him eat one of those sandwiches with two inches of meat piled up between the bread. I staggered out on to the street for some fresh air. I was happy to see a trash can into which I could throw up. Imagine my surprise when I picked my head up to find my boss (who was also in NYC but had no plans to meet me) standing over me. Of course, I told her I had a stomach bug and all she could say was "Well, can you or can you not go to the appointments tomorrow?"
7. When working from home turns south.
“I was at work, but work was at my house. I had a video Skype dating coaching session with a client. I told her my internet wasn't working and I had to take the call on the phone. During the call, I had to throw up. So I brought the phone with me into the bathroom and pushed mute as I vomited. Over and over again. I don't know how I gave any decent advice, and it was a first test session. Somehow though, she was so impressed by me that she bought 10 more! Another time, with a long time client who I knew very well, I told her that I had the flu. She wanted to have a video call anyway because she was desperate. I took the call, on video, from my bed."
"I looked like complete shit and warned her that I would probably have to get up to vomit during the call. Sure enough, midway through I had to throw up, I told her I would be right back, ran into the bathroom and vomited. I was able to come back onto video and continue to call."
If you are looking to not get hangover...
As for a cure: You may have a hangover, but the world doesn't need to know you do! “Prepare in advance your remedy inspired by OleHenriksen Face/Body rituals and no one will know about that hangover... unless you tell them!" says Vance Soto, Owner of the OleHenriksen Face/Body Spa.
Cleanse and steam the face to revive that 'I shouldn't have had that last pinot' complexion, and massage your face too to promote lymphatic drainage (aka fast track to complexion brightening!). Now: “Apply cool and grated cucumber (grating releases the enzymes from the cucumber!) to your eyes to de puff and soothe," says Soto.
Sit back for ten minutes while you replay over and over again your stellar dance moves that the entire office had the pleasure of enjoying... next, enlist some essentials oils such as eucalyptus to energize and you'll feel right as rain again. “I like hot towel compresses infused with lavender to calm the mind, we all know a hangover can mean anxiety too," says Soto.
Do all the above with a glass of prosecco to take the edge off, but drink plenty of water as steaming can dehydrate you (and since you're hungover in the first instance, you'll already be dehydrated).
Or, hell, just drink some more. Nothing cures a hangover better than the hair of the dog that bit you. “A couple of great cocktails to cure a hangover include the Corpse Reviver #2, a classic pre-Prohibition era cocktail from New Orleans that combines Gin, Cointreau, Lillet, Fresh Lemon, and Absinthe. It's surprisingly refreshing but boozy enough to bring you back. You can also never go wrong with a spicy Bloody Mary," says Parker Boase, co-founder of Liquid Lab NYC, a cocktail catering business.
Of course, one of the best ways to cure yourself of the worst hangover is to prevent it. Never Too Hungover is the beverage you drink before your first alcoholic drink., it works by helping neutralize toxins, restore vital nutrients, and it hydrates the body.
This piece was originally published on December 31, 2017.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org to get the advice you need!
Help! I'm Dating a Jerk!
Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year. After spending some vacation time with him and realizing he is not treating me the way I like I'm wondering — what do I do? I need him to be kinder and softer to me but he says simply, "chivalry is not his thing." I believe when two people decide to be together they need to adjust to each other. I don't think or feel my boyfriend is adjusting to what's important to me. Should I try to explain to him what's important to me, accept him for what he is, or leave him as I'm just not happy and the little gestures are important to me?
- Loveless Woman
Dear Loveless Woman,I am saddened you aren't getting your needs met in your relationship. Intimacy and affection are important to sustain a healthy relationship. It's troubling that even though you have expressed your needs to your boyfriend that it's fallen on deaf ears. You need to explore, with a therapist, why you have sought out this type of relationship and why you have stayed in it, even when it's making you chronically unhappy? Your belief that couples should adjust to each other is correct to some degree. These things often include compromising and bending on things like who gets the bigger closet or where to go for dinner. However, it's a tall order to ask someone to change their personality and if your boyfriend is indeed a jerk, like you say, who refuses to acknowledge your love language or express kindness and softness, then maybe you should find a partner who will embrace you while being chivalrous.
- The Armchair Psychologist
Hi Armchair Psychologist,
Just wanted to let you know that your article was really offensive to read. Do you refer to women's genitals as: "gross," "ghasty," "smelly," or otherwise? Humans are not perfect, each of us is different and you should emphasize this. I hope that man finds a partner that will love and accept him rather than tearing him down. Which gender has a whole aisle devoted to their "special" hygiene needs? I can tell you it's not men.
Dear Male Reader,Thank you for your thoughtful feedback to my Armchair Psychologist column. My email response bounced so am writing you here. I am so sorry I offended you. It wasn't my intention. I actually meant to be sardonic and make the writer see how ridiculous she sounded for the harsh language she used to describe her date. I obviously failed at this sneer since you think I meant to be offensive. Many apologies. I'll do better. Have a wonderful day and keep writing us with your thoughts.
- Ubah, The Armchair Psychologist