Many of us may be feeling overwhelmed or helpless, especially during the COVID-19 global pandemic and as racial and political tensions heighten in the U.S. In times like these, retreating inward to examine ourselves should become more than a priority and instead be a necessity. When we assess our own trauma, we typically consider the ways it affects us personally, such as depression, fatigue, negative cognition, strained relationships, avoidance or numbness — to name a few. And while it is wildly important to unpack our own trauma, to work through and bring meaning to that of which we've suffered, we do need to consider how trauma, even unprocessed, impacts our communities as a whole.
We are in the throes of a global pandemic, which no one has any prior experience in. Yet, advice on how to deal with this crisis is everywhere: "Be productive, write that book, start that business, reinvent your business, do what you previously didn't have time for, work out, take on a hobby, use this time wisely, change the world," they all say.
I was about one month into my dream job as a forensic psychologist in a remand facility for adolescent girls in Brooklyn, New York. Unlike my old job, this one did not offer a parking lot for employees, but I was issued a state parking plaque to use in front of the building when there was space. However, that employee-issued parking plaque was enough illicit the suspicion and disbelief of the NYPD leading to me getting wrongfully arrested and detained for two nights. This experience was not the only instance of racial discrimination in my life, and it certainly was not my last as an employee. I chose to tell this one as it was, sort of, my official introduction to life in America as an educated, African-American woman.
What we are going through as a nation and a world is completely unprecedented in our lifetime. Other than finding reputable advice on COVID-19 from the CDC and WHO, we are all looking to one another for support to create a daily road map for this uncharted territory we are all traversing with high anxiety. Everyday, we are stuck wondering how we will get through this experience and questioning if we are making the right decisions or not. It is nervewracking. I know these feelings well, as I endured them for more than a year after the onset of PTSD back in 2016.
I close my computer screen, but the headlines remain etched in my mind like the voices of my father and mother when they told me I had to follow their beliefs, or I would not be saved when the fire rained down from heaven When I let in the onslaught of social media and voices of worried friends and neighbors, it brings me back to a frightening time. A time when I grew up with a looming dread of Armageddon. Listening to how people talk about the pandemic has triggered these memories.