It was July of 2011, when a friend posted in our local moms' group that she was planning to host a psychic party at her home with a renown psychic medium who boasts A-lister clientele. It seemed like perfect timing as that same exact week, I had been overcome with the notion that my 11-month-old son had been carrying on conversations from his crib with my deceased maternal grandfather.
Even though I was excited, I was still filled with skepticism while waiting my turn. My name was finally called to go into the room where the psychic was meeting with each mom privately for the readings. I hadn’t even walked two steps into the room when he turned to me and said, “Normally I ask a couple questions before we get started but I can’t even ask anything because your maternal grandfather is here with us and needing to make his presence known. He wants you to know that he is your guardian angel and will always be for the rest of your life.”
From that moment, I was not only a total emotional mess but also all ears. After initially setting the tone by calling out my grandfather, the psychic continued on about my life and hit the nail on the head about so many things. So, when he made his predictions about my career, he definitely had himself a captive audience.
“I am looking at your career and I see great success in your future," he said. "Success is inevitable. You’re still learning at this point in your career but you’re acquiring all the skills … you will start a new endeavor in the future and it’s going to be great. I see March as a month where the floodgates open for you.”
I was so excited to hear this because I had left an executive level agency position to start my own consulting business in order to be home with my son. At that time in my life, I needed all the reassurance I could get that I hadn’t committed financial and/or career suicide. After the reading, I felt positive and invigorated about all aspects of my life.
Imagine my surprise the next day when I got a call from my biggest client to tell me they had just been acquired and were moving all marketing in-house. I was given my 30 days’ notice. I was totally bewildered; the psychic had been so right about everything - how could he have been so off about my career? In spite of this devastating call, the psychic’s words still rang in my head “Success is inevitable.” The days following, I networked with everyone I knew and landed a bigger and better client gig before my 30 days was even up.
Since that time, there have continued to be setbacks and sleepless nights in my career but I always go back to that psychic reading when I’m feeling downhearted. “Success is inevitable.” Whether the psychic is authentic or not, he has managed to plant a seed of positive thinking that has carried me throughout these past six years. Fast-forward to March of 2015, when I launched my current business: Gugu Guru. (Per the psychic’s prediction, the flood gates would open in March and they sure did!) Like everything else in my entrepreneurial journey, I have had some really high highs and really low lows with building this new business but I continue to go back to my mantra and it always seems to come through for me. “Success is inevitable.”
So, my fellow entrepreneurs, do I suggest that you go to a psychic medium? Not necessarily.
Truth is, who knows how things would have played out if that psychic had not opened the reading so powerfully by naming my grandfather. However, I do recommend that you find your success mantra and fully trust in the power of positive thinking. I have no real way of measuring the impact it has had on my career, but I know it’s been profound. If you truly believe that failure is not even a remote possibility in any aspect of your life, consider how it could possibly change the way you do things and the effect that it could have on your life every single day.
Sometimes the person you have to stand up to is you! There I was, rewatching the Miss Universe 2019 competition. Which I do for inspiration from time to time. (No, seriously!) There is something about seeing women on stage, in full-on glam mode, and speaking with confident assuredness that really lights my fire!
I have seen this Zozibini Tunzi of South Africa win this crown so many times before, but something about this particular viewing, her delivery or her words, touched something inside me a little differently. At that moment, I truly believed, with complete conviction, that she lives what she speaks.
The announcement was made, the audience cheered, and the crown was awarded. The light was dazzling,, she looked stunning, almost blessed. The judges made the right call with 2019's queen.
Reflecting On Myself
Suddenly, the YouTube video ended. And I was left looking at a black screen. In the darkness of that screen, I saw my reflection and I began assessing what I saw, asking myself, "What have I been doing with my life?" It may seem like an overly dramatic question, but at that moment, I had to ask myself seriously… What have you done? The fact that I couldn't come up with a solid, confident answer gave my inner-cynic license to quickly spiral into self-criticism.
This went on for quite some time, until I got up. I stood up and walked to my mirror to have some serious one-on-one "Queen Talk." I needed to get out of that self-critical mindset, and I know that physical movement is something that help disrupt a way of thinking. I needed to remind myself of who I really was. The negative feelings I was experiencing at that moment were not reality.
Here are a few reminders for whenever you need some Queen Talk!
1.) Comparison is truly the thief of joy.
This saying feels like a cliché. That is, until it's applicable to you. At that moment, this "cliché, becomes self-evident. Comparing myself to someone on a stage with years of experience in an area I know nothing about is not only unfair but straight-up mean. A part of my comparison comes from me wondering, "Would I have the ability, if put in that position, to perform at such a level?" The answer is totally and without question, yes. I excel in the field I work in now, and I know that if I put that same energy towards something else, with practice, I could do just as well. No joy can come from comparing yourself to someone in a completely different field!
2.) Never forget the blessings that have been bestowed upon you.
Every single day, I am blessed to have the opportunity to wake up with all ten fingers and toes and choose to create the kind of life I want to live. There is so much power in that alone, but sometimes it's easy to take it for granted. Let us not forget those who are unable to make that same decision every day of their lives.
3.) Appreciate how far you have come!
I've been very intentional for some time to be kinder and gentler to myself. I need to realize that I am human. Being human means that I will not know everything, and I will continue to make mistakes.But I must let go of the need to always be right. I feel empowered when I can see the growth that I've made, regardless of the mistakes that may come in the future. I don't react to every little thing that bothers me, because I have learned boundaries when it comes to dealing with others and myself. I truly value my time and my energy, and, for that, I am proud.
4.) You Can Be Who You Want To Be
If you can see it in your mind, you can achieve it in reality. I saw myself when I looked at the women on stage, when she smiled, the way she talked, her elegant walk. For a moment, in my self-criticism spiral, I forgot that we are all connected. Debasish Mridha has said "I may not know you, but I don't see any difference between you and me. I see myself in you; we are one." I will not sit in the mentality of lack, there is more than enough opportunity and good fortune to go around for everyone. Her win was not a loss for me, but it can be a nudge from the universe for me to go ahead and dream big!
This Queen Talk was not easy. There may have been some tissues and tears involved but giving myself an honest yet compassionate talk is sometimes what I need to bring myself out of some bad head space. In these moments of doubt, you truly need to be your own best friend.When times get rough, criticism won't always come from outside sources. How you speak about yourself internally is crucial to how you see and feel about yourself. As Beyoncé once sang, "I've got Me, Myself, and I." We must put forth every effort to be there for ourselves. I look forward to more Queen Talks when some negative emotions arise. I am grateful for the person I am today, but I am excited to see the women I become.