The movie Crazy Rich Asians released to a frenzy of buzz not only about Asian representation but also, about the wealth and opulent lifestyles on full display. The cars, the fashion choices rivaling those in The Devil Wears Prada and of course, the ring! Clearly, the world has a voracious appetite for fantasies of billionaire bling. And as home to the world's highest number of billionaires, Asia is fueling a lot of this fascination.
Of course, stereotypes can reflect a slice of reality. But as a second-generation business owner from Vietnam, where my parents built our family's company Tan Hiep Phat from a mom-and-pop yeast business that my father ran in the 1970s out of a tiny room at home into Vietnam's largest privately-owned beverage company that turned down a $2.5 billion buyout offer from Coca-Cola, I know that there is another side to the story. One that holds priceless lessons for anyone aspiring to achieve and maintain large-scale success.
That is the far less glamorous but infinitely more important aspect of hard work, dedication, sacrifice and, especially, rigorous values that it takes to achieve and sustain wealth. This has been the story for many of Asia's wealthy individuals and families who have risen from humble origins and grueling socio-economic conditions. (Chinese billionaire Zhou Qunfei, head of Lens Technology, a former factory worker who often works 18-hour days and “keeps living quarters in her office," is just one example.)
As I discuss in my new book, Competing With Giants, how my own family founded its business and ultimately built its fortune against a devastating backdrop of war, crippling trade sanctions and record hyperinflation. In the face of deprivation my father learned not only to be innovative but to always stay humble and grounded. This has provided the foundation for our company's and our family's culture of hard work.
The long-term viability of THP is directly tied to my family's values and worth ethic. This ethic is driven not by dreams of grandeur and glamour, but by a set of principles and core values that are light years away from those brandished in Crazy Rich Asians.
It is these principles that have made our success a reality and keep it real so that it remains sustainable. If you are an entrepreneur or an aspiring entrepreneur, adhering to these principles will increase your chances of reaching your business goals:
View wealth-building as a journey, not an objective
Always remember that the real value of money is the path one takes to achieve it. It is not an end in and of itself. For entrepreneurs, this means mapping out a clear vision for the company that aligns with its core identity and establishing granular business plans that project into the future - even as far as 10 years out. My family's company, THP, has a vision to expand throughout Asia and beyond with new and exciting brands. Next, commit to the plans, modifying as needed in response to external changes while resisting the temptation to get diverted by promises of sudden, short-term gains if these do not align with the company's fundamental goals. This was my family's mindset when turning down Coca-Cola's $2.5 billion buyout offer in 2012.
Strive for results, not personal riches
Personal riches come and go. That's why results and growth that endure over time must be the primary goal of any entrepreneur. But results are not just about numbers. They encompass a broad range of areas such as the success of strategic partnerships, the strength of relationships with suppliers, the quality and efficiency of production methods and employee satisfaction. Focus on designing and Implementing systems to list, track and monitor all areas of activity, from sales and operations to employee and client relations, and on analyzing the data day-to-day rather than on counting cash. Material wealth may well follow, but the satisfaction of seeing results is far more real.
Never take success for granted
Having riches today does not mean we are entitled or guaranteed to have them forever. There are two things I believe can help entrepreneurs stay grounded in this reality. First, maintaining a humble lifestyle - quite the opposite of the lifestyle presented in Crazy Rich Asians. My own family lives in an apartment above one of our factories.
When traveling, we often take Ubers and stay in AirBnBs. The second is to take action each day to achieve your goals. This means taking chances and always learning from both your successes and your failures--which are inevitable and should be embraced as a source for valuable lessons. The more chances you take, the more opportunities you will ultimately uncover.
Know your values and put them first
Integrity is priceless, and will carry you much farther than the promise of “big shiny objects." When Coca-Cola offered to purchase THP in 2012, the conditions clashed with our vision for the company. We rejected the offer, walking away from a $2.5 billion payday. If the deal had gone ahead, it would have been the largest-ever foreign acquisition in Vietnam's history by deal value. It still would be the second largest today. But it was far more important for us to uphold our values and respect what our company stands for. Values should be the ultimate foundation of entrepreneurial decision-making.
Understanding and upholding your company's values is essential to its long-term viability. THP rigorously adheres to and is guided by a set of 7 core values, including; customer satisfaction, responsibility to the community and society, the spirit of business ownership and believing that nothing is impossible. We have no regrets about passing on the Coca-Cola opportunity: time has proven us right.
Serve your customers diligently, even in challenging times
Owning a company means, above all, serving the customers who depend on you to provide reliable, enjoyable brands that are delivered on time. Every interaction with them matters, no matter how small or big. When problems or challenges arise, it is incumbent on you, the business leader, to rise to the occasion and find a way to meet your customer's needs. Very often, this will mean putting your own needs last. For many people, staying humble and grounded becomes ever more difficult as success grows. They start to believe their own hype, a breeding ground for arrogance and the kind of hubris that leads to mistakes. So keep dreaming big. But as you do, keep your focus and your aspirations in the right place.
In 2016, I finally found my voice. I always thought I had one, especially as a business owner and mother of two vocal toddlers, but I had been wrong.
For more than 30 years, I had been struggling with the fear of being my true self and speaking my truth. Then the repressed memories of my childhood sexual abuse unraveled before me while raising my 3-year-old daughter, and my life has not been the same since.
Believe it or not, I am happy about that.
The journey for a survivor like me to feel even slightly comfortable sharing these words, without fear of being shamed or looked down upon, is a long and often lonely one. For all of the people out there in the shadows who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, I dedicate this to you. You might never come out to talk about it and that's okay, but I am going to do so here and I hope that in doing so, I will open people's eyes to the long-term effects of abuse. As a survivor who is now fully conscious of her abuse, I suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and, quite frankly, it may never go away.
It took me some time to accept that and I refuse to let it stop me from thriving in life; therefore, I strive to manage it (as do many others with PTSD) through various strategies I've learned and continue to learn through personal and group therapy. Over the years, various things have triggered my repressed memories and emotions of my abuse--from going to birthday parties and attending preschool tours to the Kavanaugh hearing and most recently, the"Leaving Neverland" documentary (I did not watch the latter, but read commentary about it).
These triggers often cause panic attacks. I was angry when I read Barbara Streisand's comments about the men who accused Michael Jackson of sexually abusing them, as detailed in the documentary. She was quoted as saying, "They both married and they both have children, so it didn't kill them." She later apologized for her comments. I was frustrated when one of the senators questioning Dr. Christine Blasey Ford (during the Kavanaugh hearing) responded snidely that Dr. Ford was still able to get her Ph.D. after her alleged assault--as if to imply she must be lying because she gained success in life.We survivors are screaming to the world, "You just don't get it!" So let me explain: It takes a great amount of resilience and fortitude to walk out into society every day knowing that at any moment an image, a sound, a color, a smell, or a child crying could ignite fear in us that brings us back to that moment of abuse, causing a chemical reaction that results in a panic attack.
So yes, despite enduring and repressing those awful moments in my early life during which I didn't understand what was happening to me or why, decades later I did get married; I did become a parent; I did start a business that I continue to run today; and I am still learning to navigate this "new normal." These milestones do not erase the trauma that I experienced. Society needs to open their eyes and realize that any triumph after something as ghastly as childhood abuse should be celebrated, not looked upon as evidence that perhaps the trauma "never happened" or "wasn't that bad. "When a survivor is speaking out about what happened to them, they are asking the world to join them on their journey to heal. We need love, we need to feel safe and we need society to learn the signs of abuse and how to prevent it so that we can protect the 1 out of 10 children who are being abused by the age of 18. When I state this statistic at events or in large groups, I often have at least one person come up to me after and confide that they too are a survivor and have kept it a secret. My vehicle for speaking out was through the novella The Survivors Club, which is the inspiration behind a TV pilot that my co-creator and I are pitching as a supernatural, mind-bending TV series. Acknowledging my abuse has empowered me to speak up on behalf of innocent children who do not have a voice and the adult survivors who are silent.
Remembering has helped me further understand my young adult challenges,past risky relationships, anger issues, buried fears, and my anxieties. I am determined to thrive and not hide behind these negative things as they have molded me into the strong person I am today.Here is my advice to those who wonder how to best support survivors of sexual abuse:Ask how we need support: Many survivors have a tough exterior, which means the people around them assume they never need help--we tend to be the caregivers for our friends and families. Learning to be vulnerable was new for me, so I realized I needed a check-off list of what loved ones should ask me afterI had a panic attack.
The list had questions like: "Do you need a hug," "How are you feeling," "Do you need time alone."Be patient with our PTSD". Family and close ones tend to ask when will the PTSD go away. It isn't a cold or a disease that requires a finite amount of drugs or treatment. There's no pill to make it miraculously disappear, but therapy helps manage it and some therapies have been known to help it go away. Mental Health America has a wealth of information on PTSD that can help you and survivors understand it better. Have compassion: When I was with friends at a preschool tour to learn more about its summer camp, I almost fainted because I couldn't stop worrying about my kids being around new teenagers and staff that might watch them go the bathroom or put on their bathing suit. After the tour, my friends said,"Nubia, you don't have to put your kids in this camp. They will be happy doing other things this summer."
In that moment, I realized how lucky I was to have friends who understood what I was going through and supported me. They showed me love and compassion, which made me feel safe and not judged.