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Armchair Psychologist Gets An Update On "Help! My BF Puts Me Last, After His Ex-Wife And Children!”

3 Min Read
Lifestyle

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The Armchair Psychologist Gets An Update!

A woman who wrote about her BF putting his Ex and children before her, and even refusing to spend the night with her, instead spending the night on his ex's couch, wrote us an update. I advised her to consider her option and move on, given that he wasn't open to couple's therapy and the like.

Here is the update: In conclusion, we continued to try to work on being there for each other — physically and to help fulfill each others needs (his need to be there for his son every other weekend (eight hour drive away) and work six days a week and my need to be included in his visits (from time to time) and to spend more quality time in general (because really, the only time we were spending together was Sundays every other week). To me, this was not enough, especially if you are living with that person trying to build a future. There were no solutions being presented. During the week he did not come home until late which meant no quality time together then either. He did not see the problem in this. I could see if this was temporary or if we planned long weekends from time to time or even a vacation, but this is what he wants for his life. To top it off…. his ex is moving to Texas and he decides he is moving there too. C'est la vie…. #heartbroken hope that all makes sense by the way… I am not a very good writer. He has been out for over a month now….sigh, moving on….

Help! I Gave Away Pennies And Got shamed!

Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I need you to help my friend and me settle a debate. Recently, while leaving the gym, I gave a few pennies to a panhandling woman. My friend thought this to be rude and patronizing. I argued I didn't have any change other than the pennies and it's better to give some money rather than none. Who is right? - Generous Donor

Dear Generous Donor,

What a great gift you possess to have compassion for your fellow man/woman and to help someone in need. Homelessness is an epidemic in many American cities and many homeless people come from extremely dire situations where every penny counts. Your friend should quit shaming you and tap into his/her own reasons for feeling guilt, and channel that energy into volunteering at a homeless center!

- The Armchair Psychologist

Need more armchair psychologist in your life? Check out the last installment or email armchairpsychologist@swaaymedia.com to get some advice of your own!

3 min read
Lifestyle

Help! My Friend Is a No Show

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Help! My Friend Is a No Show

Dear Armchair Psychologist,

I have a friend who doesn't reply to my messages about meeting for dinner, etc. Although, last week I ran into her at a local restaurant of mine, it has always been awkward to be friends with her. Should I continue our friendship or discontinue it? We've been friends for a total four years and nothing has changed. I don't feel as comfortable with her as my other close friends, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reach that comfort zone in pure friendship.

-Sadsies

Dear Sadsies,

I am sorry to hear you've been neglected by your friend. You may already have the answer to your question, since you're evaluating the non-existing bond between yourself and your friend. However, I'll gladly affirm to you that a friendship that isn't reciprocated is not a good friendship.



I have had a similar situation with a friend whom I'd grown up with but who was also consistently a very negative person, a true Debby Downer. One day, I just had enough of her criticism and vitriol. I stopped making excuses for her and dumped her. It was a great decision and I haven't looked back. With that in mind, it could be possible that something has changed in your friend's life, but it's insignificant if she isn't responding to you. It's time to dump her and spend your energy where it's appreciated. Don't dwell on this friend. History is not enough to create a lasting bond, it only means just that—you and your friend have history—so let her be history!



- The Armchair Psychologist

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