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Help! My Boyfriend Is TOO BIG

Lifestyle

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Help! My Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Hold Me?

Dear Armchair Psychologist
My boyfriend is a loving and cute guy. We're the same age and have a lot of mutual interests and friends. He's a great listener and always wants to make me happy. My issue is that our sex life isn't super compatible, he likes to do doggy style over and over again. Also, he hates holding my hand or snuggling in bed. I love PDA and prefer to be held at night until I fall asleep. I've complained to him but no changes. He says I'm clingy. Help?
- Starved Girlfriend

Dear Starved Girlfriend,

It is unfortunate that you're unhappy with the lack of affection in your relationship. I can relate to you when it comes to wanting to be held at night because I don't mind feeling hot and sticky while spooning. However, it is not for everyone. My significant other simply accommodates me and holds me for a bit until he can't stand being sticky and hot anymore. You can't win this battle and you should yield. What's more pressing and of concern is your incompatible sex life. Your boyfriend wants you to bend over like a dog while neglecting to provide the intimacy that you crave. Sexual compatibility is the cornerstone of any great relationship and, unless you're willing to forsake this important part of life, I suggest you find a new boyfriend — one who enjoys looking into your eyes as much as he enjoys looking at your derriere.

- The Armchair Psychologist

Help! My Boyfriend Is TOO BIG

Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I love my boyfriend but his penis size is a real issue. He's just too big! I feel like an idiot saying this, but the mere sight of his appendage makes me dry up like the Sahara. Is it over?
- No Pain

Dear No Pain,

I kind of LOLed reading this to be honest! But not because I'm not sympathetic to your dilemma. This is definitely a serious matter — people have even divorced over it — despite the fact that we're often told that "bigger is better." I googled this topic and couldn't find much but in Dr. Laura Berman's Everyday Health advice column she writes "...however, a woman's uterus and cervix usually rise when she is aroused, which actually lengthens the vagina and prevents the penis from reaching the cervix. If this is not happening in your case, it could be because you are not aroused enough throughout sex." She also recommends using lubrication, lots of foreplay, and even different poses. Hopefully, instead of wincing when your boyfriend appears, you'll soon be jumping into a satisfactory Kamasutra!

- The Armchair Psychologist

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3 min read
Lifestyle

Help! My Friend Is a No Show

Email armchairpsychologist@swaaymedia.com to get the advice you need!

Help! My Friend Is a No Show

Dear Armchair Psychologist,

I have a friend who doesn't reply to my messages about meeting for dinner, etc. Although, last week I ran into her at a local restaurant of mine, it has always been awkward to be friends with her. Should I continue our friendship or discontinue it? We've been friends for a total four years and nothing has changed. I don't feel as comfortable with her as my other close friends, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reach that comfort zone in pure friendship.

-Sadsies

Dear Sadsies,

I am sorry to hear you've been neglected by your friend. You may already have the answer to your question, since you're evaluating the non-existing bond between yourself and your friend. However, I'll gladly affirm to you that a friendship that isn't reciprocated is not a good friendship.



I have had a similar situation with a friend whom I'd grown up with but who was also consistently a very negative person, a true Debby Downer. One day, I just had enough of her criticism and vitriol. I stopped making excuses for her and dumped her. It was a great decision and I haven't looked back. With that in mind, it could be possible that something has changed in your friend's life, but it's insignificant if she isn't responding to you. It's time to dump her and spend your energy where it's appreciated. Don't dwell on this friend. History is not enough to create a lasting bond, it only means just that—you and your friend have history—so let her be history!



- The Armchair Psychologist

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