4min readFinance 12 December 2019
As a career and life coach for powerhouse women (aka VPs, CEOs, and Entrepreneurs), I've seen my fair share of uber-intelligent women who still struggle to have the level of financial freedom they desire. These are high-performing women in big jobs, and yet they still feel as if they are in a survival mindset when it comes to money.
In my experience, it almost always comes down to their mindset, and that's why I'm sharing my four tips for blowing past money mindset blocks that are holding you back from manifesting the abundance you deserve.
Step 1. Explore if you have any negative associations with money.
We all love money, right? Maybe not.
If you've ever rolled your eyes at someone driving the latest G-Wagon and assumed they were probably a yuppy jerks—you may have issues with money and wealth.
Many of us have some unconscious beef with money don't even realize it—but those negative associations with money can cut off the flow of abundance to you.
So, let's start 2020 off right by letting go of those bad vibes so the sweet green stuff can make its way into your bank account.
Here's how: write down every negative message or conditioning you can remember ever hearing about money—which may have come from society, your family, your profession, or your religion. Then go down the list and write down next to each a positive belief you have. The key is to focus on the positive empowering feelings, so money has a traffic-free lane to manifest to you with no obstacles. For example, instead of telling yourself, "Anyone who has a G-Wagon is greedy and pompous," tell yourself, "Wow, that person must have worked very hard for that car. Good for them. I can't wait until I'm driving my new (insert name of dream car).
Step 2: Quit focusing on your perceived lack of money.
If the bills are piling up and you constantly feel as if you never have enough money—you'll never have enough money. If you live in a studio apartment but shower that space with love and gratitude and feel abundant and rich every time you cross the threshold—you'll put yourself in a wealth mindset.
Try to stop focusing on your bills and start noticing the abundance in your life (e.g. your warm cozy bed and the climate-controlled room, your reliable car that can take you anywhere you want to go, the softness of your clothes that protect you and allow you to express yourself.)
We are surrounded by miracles of abundance all day, and if we can shift our focus towards those high vibes, we will be happier, healthier, and attract more financial wealth.
Step 3: Start believing you deserve money
Feed your brain a steady diet of empowering and motivating content that with have you believing there is no limit to your earning potential. Your initial reaction may be to dismiss positive money promotions, self-help books, and studying the law of attraction as trying to convince yourself of falsehood or lies—and that's fine. It's ok if you start out feeling like you're lying to yourself because you're already lying to yourself. You've been telling yourself the lie that you are not worthy of being rich and abundant. So if we're telling ourselves lies, why not tell yourself a "lie" that excited you, empowers you, and makes you feel good? After a while of feeling your brain with these "lies" of abundance, they will become beliefs. And once they become beliefs, your thoughts and actions will change accordingly, and the money that's desperately trying to get to, you will no longer be blocked.
To manifest abundance, you need to be both a giver and a receiver. It's totally possible that you may be begging for the Universe to help you, but then not being grateful for, or even refusing, what it brings. Your worth was established the day you were born, and nothing you can ever do can add to take away from that divine worth, so stop batting away the money that you inherently deserve.
Step 4: Start adopting the habits of the wealthy
If you want to be wealthy, you have to start acting wealthy right now—and no, that doesn't mean go out and buy a bunch of things you can't afford. There are habits that high achievers have adopted that you can too, and it won't cost you more than your morning coffee.
The most important thing Bill Gates and Warren Buffett attribute their intellect and wealth to? Reading…a lot.
Warren Buffett, the third richest man in the world, has a goal to read 500 pages every single day.
He knows the knowledge gained is priceless.
We are a nation addicted to TV, so I totally understand how the mere idea of replacing your" show" with books may not sound very appealing, but it's so very worth it. Grab a free downloadable book or hit up your local library and pick up a few self-improvement books. Keep them out where you can see them and make a commitment to reading at least 20 minutes a day—then you can fire-up the TV guilt-free.
Another way to get a money mindset is to take one of the many free online courses on money management—Harvard and Cornell even offer a few. Masterclass is another program to learn and invest in your future from the comfort of your couch, all for $99 per course. Online courses are super impactful because not only do you get the opportunity to learn from world-renowned professors, but you can add the course to your LinkedIn profile and resume.
If you much watch TV, try one of the hundreds of educational documentaries on Netflix and every other streaming service out there. The bottom line is to always be learning, and that can be nearly impossible if your TV is stuck on Bravo 90% of the time.
Make 2020 the year that you finally overcome the mindset blocks that are keeping you in financial-mediocrity-land. Start believing and acting as if you deserve wealth, and it will have no choice but to begin manifesting in your life.
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Help! My Friend Is a No Show
Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I have a friend who doesn't reply to my messages about meeting for dinner, etc. Although, last week I ran into her at a local restaurant of mine, it has always been awkward to be friends with her. Should I continue our friendship or discontinue it? We've been friends for a total four years and nothing has changed. I don't feel as comfortable with her as my other close friends, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reach that comfort zone in pure friendship.
Dear Sadsies,I am sorry to hear you've been neglected by your friend. You may already have the answer to your question, since you're evaluating the non-existing bond between yourself and your friend. However, I'll gladly affirm to you that a friendship that isn't reciprocated is not a good friendship.
I have had a similar situation with a friend whom I'd grown up with but who was also consistently a very negative person, a true Debby Downer. One day, I just had enough of her criticism and vitriol. I stopped making excuses for her and dumped her. It was a great decision and I haven't looked back. With that in mind, it could be possible that something has changed in your friend's life, but it's insignificant if she isn't responding to you. It's time to dump her and spend your energy where it's appreciated. Don't dwell on this friend. History is not enough to create a lasting bond, it only means just that—you and your friend have history—so let her be history!
- The Armchair Psychologist