In Partnership with Sunday Scaries
"Hi, I need something to make a guy cum in his pants as soon as he sees me."- Samantha Jones
When's the last time you said that to a salesperson while buying lingerie?
Heck, when's the last time you needed to buy lingerie for a fun sexual escapade?
According to a study published by the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior it's probably been a hot minute. In this study, researchers found young women today are having less sex than any other generation in 60 years.
The Millennial girls who grew up binge watching Sex and the City and giggling while Samantha tried to bone a priest, are not having much sex at all.
In fact, the research here shows our grandmas had more sex in their 20s than we are… Even though they probably waited to have sex until they were married.
What is that about?
Most of society no longer shames us for participating in premarital sex. We are sexually fluid and open. We have Tinder - a hookup is literally one swipe away.
So why does our sex life suck so much?
Why are 50% of millennial-age women dissatisfied with the sex they are having?
The research points to a number of libido busting issues. We are busy. We are obsessed with our career, hate online dating, stress too much, and have a deep fear of becoming emotionally involved with a 'f*ckboy'.
But the research also pointed to something a little darker and more troublesome.
Millions of us have anxiety and depression. And the numbers just keep rising. Today over 40 million adults are suffering from anxiety. And Millennials, well we are a big chunk of that statistic. Some experts even call us, the most anxious generation of all times.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and I don't play one on the internet.
So I won't tell anyone how they should deal with their anxiety. Or if they should or shouldn't take antidepressants. Only your doctor can tell you that…
What I can say is that antidepressants can really kill your sexual mojo. But beyond antidepressants, it's not really fun to have sex when you're anxious. I mean how exciting could it be, if you are spending every second during sex worrying about all the emails you need to answer?
Courtesy of Sunday Scaries
But there is good news.
Today there are natural ways to relieve anxiety, that don't have the same side effects as pharmaceuticals. You may have even heard about it… It's called CBD. (And if your sex life is nonexistent, keep reading. This could be just as important as any vibrator you have in your nightstand.)
New to CBD? Here's what you need to know.
CBD is a cannabinoid (chemical compound) found in the cannabis plant. There are over 100 cannabinoids in the plant. CBD and THC are the 2 predominant cannabinoids. Each cannabinoid is beneficial in their own unique way.
But CBD is non-psychoactive which means it does not get you high unlike its sister compound THC.
What are the benefits of CBD?
CBD really acts like a “smart" molecule that can bring balance to your body and reduce inflammation, which is why it has so many therapeutic benefits. It can be used for menstrual cramps, anxiety relief, addiction, heart health, skin care, you name it.
In medical settings, it has been used to increase appetite in cancer patients, relieve pain, and treat everything from Parkinson's disease, to diabetes to sleep disorders.
How does CBD Work?
Each one of us has an Endocannabinoid System inside our body, or what we like to call an ECS. The ECS is key in regulating our mood and how our body feels every single day. This system has two receptors: CB1 and CB2. CB2 receptors are found mostly in the immune system, and can reduce inflammation and certain kinds of emotional and physical pain.
Research shows that CB2 is affected in a positive way by CBD. CBD works by indirectly stimulating these same receptors, helping the body heal itself by balancing the endocannabinoid system.
Wait! Is CBD Legal?
YES! Most CBD that is ethically sourced from hemp (not marijuana) is legally available to anyone in the United States.
My Favorite CBD for Anxiety: Sunday Scaries
What can I say, I have a thing for gummy bears.
Plus, everytime I take any of the Sunday Scaries products I feel like my nervous system just got a giant hug. Within minutes you will get that calm alert feeling, without the high. They are 100% safe and THC free.
You can shop all natural CBD products on https://forsundayscaries.com
Currently they have three products, the OG Sunday Scaries Gummies, The Vegan AF Gummies, that have no gelatin, and The Sunday Scaries Tincture. Each product is made with the highest quality CBD sourced directly from family-owned hemp farms in Colorado. These farms are regulated by the states' Agriculture Departments, which means this CBD is organic and pesticide free.
Every product is also free of gluten, dairy, yeast, egg, soy and peanuts, so you never have to feel bad when getting your zen on.
To further relieve your stress and anxiety they've incorporated vitamins B12 and D3, well known to be effective mood boosters.
So next time you light some candles, slip into your skivvies and blast that Boys to Men, try a little CBD.
And remember CBD isn't just for Sundays.
And a good sex life isn't just for the Samantha Jones. Or your grandma. ;)
For decades, women have been unknowingly suffering from PSD and intergenerational trauma, but now Dr. Valerie Rein wants women to reclaim their power through mind, body and healing tools.
As women, no matter how many accomplishments we have or how successful we look on the outside, we all occasionally hear that nagging internal voice telling us to do more. We criticize ourselves more than anyone else and then throw ourselves into the never-ending cycle of self-care, all in effort to save ourselves from crashing into this invisible internal wall. According to psychologist, entrepreneur and author, Dr. Valerie Rein, these feelings are not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you— but chances are you definitely suffering from Patriarchy Stress Disorder.
Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) is defined as the collective inherited trauma of oppression that forms an invisible inner barrier to women's happiness and fulfillment. The term was coined by Rein who discovered a missing link between trauma and the effects that patriarchal power structures have had on certain groups of people all throughout history up until the present day. Her life experience, in addition to research, have led Rein to develop a deeper understanding of the ways in which men and women are experiencing symptoms of trauma and stress that have been genetically passed down from previously oppressed generations.
What makes the discovery of this disorder significant is that it provides women with an answer to the stresses and trauma we feel but cannot explain or overcome. After being admitted to the ER with stroke-like symptoms one afternoon, when Rein noticed the left side of her body and face going numb, she was baffled to learn from her doctors that the results of her tests revealed that her stroke-like symptoms were caused by stress. Rein was then left to figure out what exactly she did for her clients in order for them to be able to step into the fullness of themselves that she was unable to do for herself. "What started seeping through the tears was the realization that I checked all the boxes that society told me I needed to feel happy and fulfilled, but I didn't feel happy or fulfilled and I didn't feel unhappy either. I didn't feel much of anything at all, not even stress," she stated.
Photo Courtesy of Dr. Valerie Rein
This raised the question for Rein as to what sort of hidden traumas women are suppressing without having any awareness of its presence. In her evaluation of her healing methodology, Rein realized that she was using mind, body and trauma healing tools with her clients because, while they had never experienced a traumatic event, they were showing the tell-tale symptoms of trauma which are described as a disconnect from parts of ourselves, body and emotions. In addition to her personal evaluation, research at the time had revealed that traumatic experiences are, in fact, passed down genetically throughout generations. This was Rein's lightbulb moment. The answer to a very real problem that she, and all women, have been experiencing is intergenerational trauma as a result of oppression formed under the patriarchy.
Although Rein's discovery would undoubtably change the way women experience and understand stress, it was crucial that she first broaden the definition of trauma not with the intention of catering to PSD, but to better identify the ways in which trauma presents itself in the current generation. When studying psychology from the books and diagnostic manuals written exclusively by white men, trauma was narrowly defined as a life-threatening experience. By that definition, not many people fit the bill despite showing trauma-like symptoms such as disconnections from parts of their body, emotions and self-expression. However, as the field of psychology has expanded, more voices have been joining the conversations and expanding the definition of trauma based on their lived experience. "I have broadened the definition to say that any experience that makes us feel unsafe psychically or emotionally can be traumatic," stated Rein. By redefining trauma, people across the gender spectrum are able to find validation in their experiences and begin their journey to healing these traumas not just for ourselves, but for future generations.
While PSD is not experienced by one particular gender, as women who have been one of the most historically disadvantaged and oppressed groups, we have inherited survival instructions that express themselves differently for different women. For some women, this means their nervous systems freeze when faced with something that has been historically dangerous for women such as stepping into their power, speaking out, being visible or making a lot of money. Then there are women who go into fight or flight mode. Although they are able to stand in the spotlight, they pay a high price for it when their nervous system begins to work in a constant state of hyper vigilance in order to keep them safe. These women often find themselves having trouble with anxiety, intimacy, sleeping or relaxing without a glass of wine or a pill. Because of this, adrenaline fatigue has become an epidemic among high achieving women that is resulting in heightened levels of stress and anxiety.
"For the first time, it makes sense that we are not broken or making this up, and we have gained this understanding by looking through the lens of a shared trauma. All of these things have been either forbidden or impossible for women. A woman's power has always been a punishable offense throughout history," stated Rein.
Although the idea of having a disorder may be scary to some and even potentially contribute to a victim mentality, Rein wants people to be empowered by PSD and to see it as a diagnosis meant to validate your experience by giving it a name, making it real and giving you a means to heal yourself. "There are still experiences in our lives that are triggering PSD and the more layers we heal, the more power we claim, the more resilience we have and more ability we have in staying plugged into our power and happiness. These triggers affect us less and less the more we heal," emphasized Rein. While the task of breaking intergenerational transmission of trauma seems intimidating, the author has flipped the negative approach to the healing journey from a game of survival to the game of how good can it get.
In her new book, Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment, Rein details an easy system for healing that includes the necessary tools she has sourced over 20 years on her healing exploration with the pioneers of mind, body and trauma resolution. Her 5-step system serves to help "Jailbreakers" escape the inner prison of PSD and other hidden trauma through the process of Waking Up in Prison, Meeting the Prison Guards, Turning the Prison Guards into Body Guards, Digging the Tunnel to Freedom and Savoring Freedom. Readers can also find free tools on Rein's website to help aid in their healing journey and exploration.
"I think of the book coming out as the birth of a movement. Healing is not women against men– it's women, men and people across the gender spectrum, coming together in a shared understanding that we all have trauma and we can all heal."