Everyone says that your twenties are a time for experimentation, where it's okay to make mistakes and to live a life with as few commitments and responsibilities as possible. While people imparting this wisdom may be thinking about travel, career and family concerns, the romantic aspect is often left aside. Not to say you should spend your whole twenties being aggressively single; quite the opposite in fact. If this golden decade truly is the only window in a woman's life where change and a lack of commitment are acceptable, then this should also apply to our romantic liaisons.
More and more people are swerving relationships for more casual encounters, or simply picking friends with benefits, which is fitting in the age of uber-convenience and endless choice. Avoiding relationships and going your own way is the ideal way to make sure you get the absolute most out of a highly formative decade in your life, and here's why.
Our relationships, especially in our early years, often become our crutches. To live a truly fearless lifestyle and discover your potential, you need to untether yourself from other people. The future is full of limitless possibilities, and tarot readings might reveal more than what you thought was possible, and being fully independent is the best way to maximise your experiences. Going it alone allows you to remove self-doubt, as you free yourself from the weight of the expectations of others.
Have you ever wanted to just drop everything and say, go backpacking around the world, or quit your 9-5 job to focus on what you're truly passionate about? Being able to seize the moment and overhaul your life at the drop of a hat is a lot more difficult when you're living your life according to the needs and expectations of a partner, and even though the right partner should always be supportive of your dreams, you realistically won't be able to do anything you want without considering the other person. Relationships can come later, but now is the best time to live a life of total independence and personal freedom.
Be Who You Want to Be
This final reason goes beyond simply carving out your own career path or embarking on a life of adventure. We often mould ourselves according to our relationships, which can be a positive thing that contributes to our own growth and development. However, at such a young age you need to be able to figure out who you really are as a person, and what it really is that makes you tick. This important process is difficult to get through with a partner in your early years, so the single life really is the way to go if you want to fully realise who you are and what you're meant to be.
Our relationships are a cornerstone of our lives, and shape who we are profoundly. This is a good thing, however, a relationship before you've realised your full potential is a waste of time, which is why you should go it alone in your twenties.
Personally, I am over the top excited that we are on the cusp of turning the page on not only a new year but also on a new 10-year window of opportunities and possibilities!
You may be thinking, whoa…I am just embracing the fall season…yikes… it is tough to think about a new decade!
Yet it is this groundwork, this forward thought that you put in place TODAY that will propel you and lead you into greatness in 2020 and beyond. Designing a new decade rests in your ability to vision, in your willingness to be curious, in your awareness of where you are now and what you most want to curate. Essentially, curating what's next is about tapping into today with confidence, conviction, and decision. Leading YOU starts now. This is your new next. It is your choice.
Sometimes to get to that 'next', you need to take a step back to reflect. Please pardon my asking you to spend time in yesterday. Those who know me personally, know that I created and continue to grow my business based on enabling the present moment as a springboard for living your legacy. So, indulge me here! True, I am asking you to peek into the past, yet it is only in order for you to bring the essence of that past forward into this moment called NOW.
One of the best ways to tap into what's next is to clarify what drives you. To design a new decade, ask yourself this question about the past ten years:
What worked? What were my successes?
Make a list of your achievements big and small. Don't type them, but rather use ink and paper and sit with and savor them. Move your thoughts and your successes from your head, to your heart, to your pen, to the paper. Remember that on the flip side of goals not attained and New Year's resolutions abandoned, there was more than likely some traction and action that moved you forward, even if the end result was not what you expected. Once you have a full list of a decade's worth of personal and professional accomplishments, think about how this makes you feel. Do you remember celebrating all of them? My guess is no. So, celebrate them now. Give them new life by validating them. Circle the successes that resonate with you most right now. Where can you lean into those accomplishments as you power into the decade ahead?
Now comes a tougher question, one that I used myself in my own mid-life reinvention and a question I adore because in a moment's time it provides you with a quick reconnect to your unique inner voice.
If it were 10 years ago and nothing were standing in your way, no fear or excuses to contend with…what would you do?
Don't overthink it. The brilliance of this question is that it refocuses purpose. Whatever first came to mind when you answered this for yourself is at its core a powerful insight into defining and redefining the FUTURE decade. Bring your answer into the light of today and what small piece of it is actionable NOW? Where is this resonating and aligning with a 2019 version of yourself?
Then, based on your success list and your answer to the above question, what is your 2020 vision for your business and for the business of YOU?
Designing a new decade begins as a collection of 3,650 opportunities. 3,650 blank slates of new days ahead in which to pivot and propel yourself forward. Every single one of those days is a window into your legacy. An invitation to be, create, explore, and chip away at this thing we call life. One 24-hour segment at a time.
While you have a decade ahead to work on design improvements, you have the ability to begin manifesting this project of YOU Version 2020 right NOW. Based on exploring the exercises in this post, begin executing your vision. Ask questions. Be present. Let go of 2019 and the past 10 years so that you can embrace the next 10. Position acceptance and self-trust at the forefront of how you lead you. One choice at a time.
Don't get bogged down in the concept of the next 10 years. Instead position clarity and intention into each new day, starting today. Then chase every one of those intentions with an in-the-moment commitment and solution toward living a legendary life!