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The Rock Test: A Hack for Men Who Don’t Want To Be Accused of Sexual Harassment

Culture

Are you a man confused on how to treat the women you work with? Do you feel like if you can’t say or do *anything* you don’t know what to say or do at all? Well stress no more! This life hack will have you treating women like people in no time.


From Harvey Weinstein to like all of Uber, it seems each day a wealthy and powerful man is being brought down by accusations of sexual harassment or assault. And just today the New York Times reported that men are becoming less likely to mentor females out of fear:

“A big chill came across Silicon Valley in the wake of all these stories, and people are hyperaware and scared of behaving wrongly, so I think they’re drawing all kinds of parameters,” said a venture capitalist who spoke anonymously for the same reason.

Photo courtesy of Men's Fitness

Some are avoiding solo meetings with female entrepreneurs, potential recruits and those who ask for an informational or networking meeting.

I know, this sounds weird, but trust me, this is a visualization exercise that will work wonders in your dealings with the women in your workplace. When a woman approaches you, just replace her in your mind with The Rock. Then, behave accordingly.

Still confused? Let’s try some dry runs.

Situation 1: Getting Coffee

Karen is a friend of a friend who recently moved to your city and wants to network in her chosen field, one in which you also work. She’s asked you if you’d be willing to get coffee with her, so she can “pick your brain.” There’s just one problem, Karen looks like this:

Photo courtesy of Maurer Law Firm

Oh shoot! She’s pretty! In the face, even. What to do?? I mean, you know it’d be inappropriate to treat the coffee meeting as a date, since her clearly stated intentions were professional. But on the other hand, she’s blonde, and so was your last girlfriend! This is so confusing! What a minefield you are in.

But navigating this sticky situation can be made easy by employing The Rock Test. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and when you open them, pretend Karen looks like this:

Photo courtesy of Rampage Movie

Wow! Karen looks pretty tough and strong and sweaty! She looks like a person who is working very hard to achieve her goals, having left behind a situation that clearly wasn’t working, headed for bigger and better things. Maybe ask her about that? But definitely don’t hit on her. It looks like she could kill you with the chair you’re sitting on.

Situation 2: The Meeting

Amanda is your business colleague who has a few questions about the big project your department just took on. She’s asked you for a one on one meeting to go over some specifics. There’s just one problem:

Oh geez, Amanda looks not only fit and attractive and young, but also like she isn’t wearing a wedding ring. What if she’s open to talking about her (presumably) adventurous sex life, and yours?! Finally, someone to share your secret latex fetish with! How on Earth can you hope to keep this meeting, that has nothing at all to do with any of that, focused for a whole 45 minutes?

Again, close your eyes, clear your mind, and think of Amanda like this:

Photo courtesy of Opptrends

Wow! It looks like Amanda has been working really hard, but just needs some help with a small snag she’s hit. Luckily she knows enough to ask for assistance when she needs it, what a professional! You’re lucky to have Amanda in your corner. Unfortunately, it definitely looks like she has no time at all to hear about your latex thing, no matter how much those gloves turn you on.

Situation 3: The Outing

Your co-worker Jennifer and her team just launched a successful new project, and they’ve all invited you out for some drinks after work to celebrate. There’s just one problem. Yep, you guessed it:

Photo Courtesy of Noobpreneur

Jennifer and her team are all card carrying Sephora shoppers. One of them is even wearing a skirt. ME-OW, right? How can you be expected to keep your hands to yourself when there are just so many young women smiling at you? Everyone knows when a woman smiles at you it means she likes you like that.At least that’s how all the movies you’ve seen and strip clubs you’ve been to have worked. How can you know if this is just drinks with co-workers or an opportunity to masturbate in front of a group like you’ve always dreamed?

Quickly replace this image in your mind with this:

Photo courtesy of Dwayne Johnson/Instagram

Wow! Jennifer and her team look really professional and ready to take on anything! It’s no wonder their project succeeded and they’re looking to celebrate. Maybe you could trade war stories with them about projects past, or hear some of their stories about what it took to make it this far. One thing’s for sure though, no matter how drunk you get: do not masturbate in front of them. Seriously, the last kid I know who touched a cop unexpectedly ended up with his face in the cement. It was a bad night!

So there you go! You’ve learned the quick and easy way to interact with women without behaving inappropriately. Simply offer them the same respect, admiration, and healthy dose of fear you’d offer anyone who could completely destroy you should you deserve it.

This article was originally published on Medium.

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Career

2020 is Around the Corner: Here's How To Design Your Next Decade

Personally, I am over the top excited that we are on the cusp of turning the page on not only a new year but also on a new 10-year window of opportunities and possibilities!

You may be thinking, whoa…I am just embracing the fall season…yikes… it is tough to think about a new decade!


Yet it is this groundwork, this forward thought that you put in place TODAY that will propel you and lead you into greatness in 2020 and beyond. Designing a new decade rests in your ability to vision, in your willingness to be curious, in your awareness of where you are now and what you most want to curate. Essentially, curating what's next is about tapping into today with confidence, conviction, and decision. Leading YOU starts now. This is your new next. It is your choice.

Sometimes to get to that 'next', you need to take a step back to reflect. Please pardon my asking you to spend time in yesterday. Those who know me personally, know that I created and continue to grow my business based on enabling the present moment as a springboard for living your legacy. So, indulge me here! True, I am asking you to peek into the past, yet it is only in order for you to bring the essence of that past forward into this moment called NOW.

One of the best ways to tap into what's next is to clarify what drives you. To design a new decade, ask yourself this question about the past ten years:

What worked? What were my successes?

Make a list of your achievements big and small. Don't type them, but rather use ink and paper and sit with and savor them. Move your thoughts and your successes from your head, to your heart, to your pen, to the paper. Remember that on the flip side of goals not attained and New Year's resolutions abandoned, there was more than likely some traction and action that moved you forward, even if the end result was not what you expected. Once you have a full list of a decade's worth of personal and professional accomplishments, think about how this makes you feel. Do you remember celebrating all of them? My guess is no. So, celebrate them now. Give them new life by validating them. Circle the successes that resonate with you most right now. Where can you lean into those accomplishments as you power into the decade ahead?

Now comes a tougher question, one that I used myself in my own mid-life reinvention and a question I adore because in a moment's time it provides you with a quick reconnect to your unique inner voice.

If it were 10 years ago and nothing were standing in your way, no fear or excuses to contend with…what would you do?

Don't overthink it. The brilliance of this question is that it refocuses purpose. Whatever first came to mind when you answered this for yourself is at its core a powerful insight into defining and redefining the FUTURE decade. Bring your answer into the light of today and what small piece of it is actionable NOW? Where is this resonating and aligning with a 2019 version of yourself?

Then, based on your success list and your answer to the above question, what is your 2020 vision for your business and for the business of YOU?

Designing a new decade begins as a collection of 3,650 opportunities. 3,650 blank slates of new days ahead in which to pivot and propel yourself forward. Every single one of those days is a window into your legacy. An invitation to be, create, explore, and chip away at this thing we call life. One 24-hour segment at a time.

While you have a decade ahead to work on design improvements, you have the ability to begin manifesting this project of YOU Version 2020 right NOW. Based on exploring the exercises in this post, begin executing your vision. Ask questions. Be present. Let go of 2019 and the past 10 years so that you can embrace the next 10. Position acceptance and self-trust at the forefront of how you lead you. One choice at a time.

Don't get bogged down in the concept of the next 10 years. Instead position clarity and intention into each new day, starting today. Then chase every one of those intentions with an in-the-moment commitment and solution toward living a legendary life!