As someone who once tried to change her Facebook marital status to “in a relationship with NYC,” I’ve witnessed firsthand how a city can seduce one into blind patronage. Fast forward six adulterous years later, and surprise (even to me), I now find myself living in Los Angeles.
The pleasure -- or misfortune -- of living in either LA or New York as a modern day woman is the topic of many friendly debates, articles, Yelp reviews, and hearsay bar conversations. More often than not it’s a materialistic battle: tacos vs pizza, Hollywood vs. Wall Street, athleisure vs. suits...the list goes on and on.
And while the aforementioned criteria do have their place in determining which city ranks superior, the comparison deserves to be much deeper than the superfluous availability of avocado, or the water quality in bagels...
Alas, it seems the simple Buzzfeed question, “which metropolis is the bestropolis?” is about as easy to answer as the age-old “Pepsi vs Coke” dilemma. It’s subjective, a matter of personal taste, and we all secretly know what really tastes better anyways...Kombucha. Damnit, you can tell I live in LA.
In an effort to spare you my bias (possibly sprinkled subconsciously throughout) I asked 15 badass #WomenWhoSwaay -- Angelenas, New Yorkers, transplants, bi-coasters and inbetweeners -- to compare the “City that Never Sleeps” with the “City of Dreams,” colored in by their personal experiences.
Of the hilarious insights shared, ten common categories emerged: the weather, people, vibe, dating, opportunities, lifestyle, transportation, social life, mannerisms and culture.
And with that in mind, I now present to you: a tale of two cities.
1. Siri, what’s the weather like today?
“Living in New York for a brief time, I remember waking up every morning to a world of grey…walking to class in the rain and the wind, with 0% chance of having a good hair day. But the sun shines here in LA…A LOT…sometimes too much…but I prefer this.” -Rachel S., Digital Media
“Everyone in LA is smug about the great weather and beautiful vistas, but spends all of their time and money bicycling in-place, indoors.” -Liz P., Marketing Manager
2. People Be Like
“In New York, a homeless person will spit in your face. In LA, your best friend will spit in your cocktail while you're not looking.” -Michelle C., Publicist
“In New York, the people are fun but SOOOO serious – it’s like everyone is in such a hurry to go nowhere, it looks like they need a good cry…and they’re all in suits. But in LA, the people are legitimately insane, which may be from too much sun or maybe too many dreams. It’s cute, but it’s crazy.” -Rachel S., Digital Media
“LA people take the time to enjoy life. NY people would never survive without 5 Hour Energy.” -Vanessa H., Finance
3. Do you get my vibe?
“L.A. is very much ‘fuck yeah’ and bright colors...NYC is all ‘fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck the horse you rode in on’ and cigarette smoke grey.” -Cydney T., 26 Investment Services
“NYC is all about intellect; it’s sexy to be a brooding artist, surviving on coffee without time to eat. Dark bags under your eyes paired with high-end clothes is considered chic. In Los Angeles, you can just invert that. It’s all about, OMG I got 10 hours of sleep #blessed, smooth skin, work-life balance.’ No one cares if you’re smart.” -Taylor P., Marketing Innovation
Photo Courtesy of Eat LA
4. Dating: Swipe East, Swipe West
“The rating system in NY is inflated. If I’m a 6 in NYC, I’m a 4 in LA…” -Wally B., Comedian
“The dating grass is not always greener. New York has douchey Wall Streeters...we have unemployed Mactors (model/actors).” -Megan W., Publicist
“In NY, a long distance relationship is with someone outside of the tri-state area. In LA, a long distance relationship is with anyone on the other side of the 405.” -Liz P., Marketing Manager
“It seems like NY is more of a relationship town, and LA is more shallow. It’s always, ‘Is there someone younger and prettier behind me the dude can get with?’” -Steph R., Writer
Photo Courtesy of Free People
5. “This Opportunity Comes Once In a Lifetime” -Eminem, 8 Mile
“LA doesn’t give you everything you need or want up front. She’s guarded, fickle and tough. Yet, if you remain patient and open she will provide you with more adventure and opportunity than you could have ever imagined.” -Atlee F., Singer/Songwriter
“In LA, industry people are nice and inviting...because they know that people can surprise you, and anyone can potentially be that person who opens a door for you. New Yorkers just don't have time to sift through that many humans.” -Alexa K., Program Manager
6. Everyday I’m Hustlin’
“Surviving and thriving spiritually in LA requires constant and active meditation.” -Atlee F., Singer/Songwriter
“In New York, it’s easier to get around but harder to live...there’s no help with literally anything ever. While in LA, it’s harder to get around but easier to live. In fact, people here are overly helpful.” -Hallie J., Digital Strategist
“I hate the shopping experience in NYC. There’s always a line to try something on, and an even bigger line to buy it! Plus when it’s cold outside, it’s WAY too hot inside the stores...but it’s too much effort to unbundle your jacket.” -Tammy S., Film
7. Transportation Nation
“Being in a packed NY train is like playing the trust game ‘who’s not gonna grab my ass while I’m crammed against the door?’" -Atheer Y., Nutritionist
“I’ve made some of my best friends while drunk on the subway...but I’ve also seen a homeless person with an anaconda. It’s constant nonsense. In LA though, it’s basically, “I’ll see you when I see you.” -Taylor P., Marketing Innovation
8. Let’s Get Social
“Happy hour in NY means 2-for-1 drinks specials. Happy hour in LA means 2-for-1 sound bath and silent meditation.” -Liz P., Marketing Manager
“NY house parties are in tiny apartments (max occupancy 10-20, with at least 40 people inside). Whereas in LA, they’re so large that people just show up. In reality, the host only knows 50% (which is why everyone asks how you know the host). It's like an audition of how well someone can act.” -Alexa K., Program Manager
9. More Cultured than yogurt
“I admire the hustle in NY. You really have to love it there to stay there, so I think it breeds a strong culturalism which I appreciate. And the toughness…there’s a strong moral character that LA doesn’t seem to have.” -Rachel S., Digital Media
“In NY business casual means suit-jacket optional. In LA, business casual means bra-optional." -Liz P., Marketing Manager
“LA supports a culture of wannabes who end up waiting tables. In NY it’s all about the dreamers who make their dreams come true.” -Vanessa H., Finance
Photo Courtesy of Time Out
"Everyone in NY is an asshole – but it’s just because they need to know what you need. It’s like, “If I can help you in some way I will, but if not, stop talking to me.” While in LA, I’ve noticed people like to openly chat while in line. I’ve naturally met a lot of my best friends Starbucks." -Taylor P., Marketing Innovation
“You can tell who just moved to LA by whether or not they touch the food platter at a party. It’s a shame because it’s always made of the good shit (steaks, sushi, the works). -Alexa K., Program Manager
And there you have it folks, the real differences between LA and NYC, straight from the horse’s mouth. But while their words are insightful, they remind us that just like mimosas at brunch, we’ll never really get to the bottom of it (at least, we hope not).
Just remember that whichever city you chose, one thing’s for sure: you still can’t make that your relationship status on Facebook.
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Women in the workplace have always experienced a certain degree of discrimination from male colleagues, and according to new studies, it appears that it is becoming even more difficult for women to get acclimated to modern day work environments, in wake of the #MeToo Movement.
In a recent study conducted by LeanIn.org, in partnership with SurveyMonkey, 60% of male managers confessed to feeling uncomfortable engaging in social situations with women in and outside of the workplace. This includes interactions such as mentorships, meetings, and basic work activities. This statistic comes as a shocking 32% rise from 2018.
What appears the be the crux of the matter is that men are afraid of being accused of sexual harassment. While it is impossible to discredit this fear as incidents of wrongful accusations have taken place, the extent to which it has burgeoned is unacceptable. The #MeToo movement was never a movement against men, but an empowering opportunity for women to speak up about their experiences as victims of sexual harassment. Not only were women supporting one another in sharing to the public that these incidents do occur, and are often swept under the rug, but offered men insight into behaviors and conversations that are typically deemed unwelcomed and unwarranted.
Restricting interaction with women in the workplace is not a solution, but a mere attempt at deflecting from the core issue. Resorting to isolation and exclusion relays the message that if men can't treat women how they want, then they rather not deal with them at all. Educating both men and women on what behaviors are unacceptable while also creating a work environment where men and women are held accountable for their actions would be the ideal scenario. However, the impact of denying women opportunities of mentorship and productive one-on-one meetings hinders growth within their careers and professional networks.
Women, particularly women of color, have always had far fewer opportunities for mentorship which makes it impossible to achieve growth within their careers without them. If women are given limited opportunities to network in and outside of a work environment, then men must limit those opportunities amongst each other, as well. At the most basic level, men should be approaching female colleagues as they would approach their male colleagues. Striving to achieve gender equality within the workplace is essential towards creating a safer environment.
While restricted communication and interaction may diminish the possibility of men being wrongfully accused of sexual harassment, it creates a hostile
environment that perpetuates women-shaming and victim-blaming. Creating distance between men and women only prompts women to believe that male colleagues who avoid them will look away from or entirely discredit sexual harassment they experience from other men in the workplace. This creates an unsafe working environment for both parties where the problem at hand is not solved, but overlooked.
According to LeanIn's study, only 85% of women said they feel safe on the job, a 5% drop from 2018. In the report, Jillesa Gebhardt wrote, "Media coverage that is intended to hold aggressors accountable also seems to create a sense of threat, and people don't seem to feel like aggressors are held accountable." Unfortunately, only 16% of workers believed that harassers holding high positions are held accountable for their actions which inevitably puts victims in difficult, and quite possibly dangerous, situations. 50% of workers also believe that there are more repercussions for the victims than harassers when speaking up.
In a research poll conducted by Edison Research in 2018, 30% of women agreed that their employers did not handle harassment situations properly while 53% percent of men agreed that they did. Often times, male harassers hold a significant amount of power within their careers that gives them a sense of security and freedom to go forward with sexual misconduct. This can be seen in cases such as that of Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and R. Kelly. Men in power seemingly have little to no fear that they will face punishment for their actions.
Source-Alex Brandon, AP
Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook executive and founder of LeanIn.org., believes that in order for there to be positive changes within work environments, more women should be in higher positions. In an interview with CNBC's Julia Boorstin, Sandberg stated, "you know where the least sexual harassment is? Organizations that have more women in senior leadership roles. And so, we need to mentor women, we need to sponsor women, we need to have one-on-one conversations with them that get them promoted." Fortunately, the number of women in leadership positions are slowly increasing which means the prospect of gender equality and safer work environments are looking up.
Despite these concerning statistics, Sandberg does not believe that movements such as the Times Up and Me Too movements, have been responsible for the hardship women have been experiencing in the workplace. "I don't believe they've had negative implications. I believe they're overwhelmingly positive. Because half of women have been sexually harassed. But the thing is it is not enough. It is really important not to harass anyone. But that's pretty basic. We also need to not be ignored," she stated. While men may be feeling uncomfortable, putting an unrealistic amount of distance between themselves and female coworkers is more harmful to all parties than it is beneficial. Men cannot avoid working with women and vice versa. Creating such a hostile environment is also detrimental to any business as productivity and communication will significantly decrease.
The fear or being wrongfully accused of sexual harassment is a legitimate fear that deserves recognition and understanding. However, restricting interactions with women in the workplace is not a sensible solution as it can have negatively impact a woman's career. Companies are in need of proper training and resources to help both men and women understand what is appropriate workplace behavior. Refraining from physical interactions, commenting on physical appearance, making lewd or sexist jokes and inquiring about personal information are also beneficial steps towards respecting your colleagues' personal space. There is still much work to be done in order to create safe work environments, but with more and more women speaking up and taking on higher positions, women can feel safer and hopefully have less contributions to make to the #MeToo movement.