Taking on new challenges and experiences can be enriching. Co-Founder and CEO of Hoppin, Bilyana Freye, is a big believer in experiential and multi-disciplinary learning. In fact, Freye is a product of all of her experiences. “From a very young age I’ve always loved new beginnings,” she begins. “It’s so terrifying but ultimately so rewarding and exhilarating.”
Job shadowing is one of many opportunities that anyone can take part in, especially if you feel like you need a change of pace in your work-life, or want to try something new. Freye and Luuk Derksen, Co-Founder, and CTO are on a mission to empower people to find a career they love. Hoppin is a New York-based shadowing marketplace. Hoppers (those that shadow) can try different jobs with no commitment for a short period of time.
Bilyana Freye, The Hudson Yards. Photo Courtesy of Freye.
There is a range and breadth of experiences that Hoppers have had. An engineer shadowed a jewelry designer for a day to explore life as a creative. A former accountant spent two days at an experiential marketing agency in search of her passion. A female angel investor was interested in the cannabis space and shadowed a Founder of a cannabidiol (CBD) beauty brand. There are many opportunities one can take on. Freye is very experienced in the realm of job shadowing. Originally from Bulgaria, she moved to the U.K. on scholarship when she was a teenager. She stayed in the U.K. for 14 years and graduated from the London School of Economics and Political Science.
At the height of the 2008 financial crisis, her job search led her to take on a role in risk management at The Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS). “The only divisions hiring were in risk-management [and] I was really grateful to have that job,” she beings. “I [just] realized it was a really bad fit.” She took this unfortunate situation, flipped it and made it into a networking opportunity. She asked a private banker if she could shadow him in a department that seemed like a better fit. “I’ll never forget it. He took me along to two meetings and I loved the adrenaline.” She instinctively knew that she wanted to work for that branch of the company. “Everything was a lot more fluid and energetic and I just instinctively knew I should be there,” she says.
After one day of shadowing, they created a new role and hired her. “I was there for five years,” she exclaims. “This massively changed my career trajectory within the same bank.” The shadowing got her working at Coutts, a well-known British private bank owned by RBS. “I was working with U.K.’s top high net worth entrepreneurs and still, I wanted to test my hand at different industries and fully explore my potential,” she says. Her impact in the company didn’t stop there. She implemented these shadowing opportunities between bankers. “These internal job shadowing schemes really increased empathy, remove stereotypes and increase deal flow,” she comments. Through her perspective, spending the day with someone provides the opportunity to really step into his or her shoes and see what they go through on a day-to-day basis.
Her career didn’t stop at the bank. Freye continued to challenge herself, through the realm of shadowing. This driven entrepreneur was selected to take part in “The Apprentice” show in the U.K. while she was employed by RBS. Even though she remembers the experience feeling extreme, it was the only way for her to try her hand in different industries and jobs back to back. This remarkable woman wanted to fully explore her potential. “I’m really living my truth and that was discovered through experiences,” she admits. “There’s no better way to know if something is right for you if you don’t experience it. It’s been 10 years in the making of knowing how powerful job shadowing is.” We may have unlimited information at our fingertips, even at the touch of a button, but Freye concludes that nothing prepares you for how the right fitting job will feel until you experience it.
A NEW CHAPTER
A few years ago, Freye and her husband wanted to start their new lives, as a family, with an adventure. Never living in America before, they decided to move to New York. “It was a symbolic move for me; a couple of months after my 30th birthday and a wedding,” she says. “After seven years in finance I took a hard look at my life and thought ‘Is this really what I want to do?’” Freye felt like she should find a job that made her energetic and enthusiastic. It led her to the tech industry and working for a company called Decoded, which teaches people how to collaborate with technology.
“I felt like I should experience a change; Tech is underpinning our generation and it’s affecting [many] industries,” she emphasizes. “I moved from a large corporate [job] to a small tech startup.” She remembers feeling how exciting and daunting it would be. “When I did the big move from finance to tech, I couldn’t help but think ‘what if I could have shadowed again?’ and ‘why doesn’t it exist?’”. A piece of her felt there was still so much more to discover. She met Derksen at Decoded. The second time founders ended up bonding over the importance of finding the right job, the right fit. “Job shadowing is the best thing since sliced bread,” she laughed. “It can help college students figure out what they should go in to; it could help experienced professionals just like me; it can help baby boomers stay relevant by trying out this intimidating world of startups.”
“There’s no better way to know if something is right for you if you don’t experience it," Freye exclaims. "It’s been 10 years in the making of knowing how powerful job shadowing is.”
What makes Hoppin unique is how affordable the shadowing experiences are and how it benefits both the Hoppers and the hosts. “We wanted a new take of the word ‘hopping,’” she explains. Job-hopping can be seen as negative but Freye emphasizes it’s necessary to find what you’re looking for, to embrace something new. “Time is the most valuable thing we all have,” she continues. “Taking five days to try five different jobs is one of the most efficient things that you can do when you’re looking for [your] next passion or purpose.”
“If you’re passionate about what you do and are looking to share your craft and experiences, host” Freye advises. Hosts that take part in this shadowing experience maximize their exposure, earn something extra and get a fresh perspective. “The hosts get to meet pre-screened, talented individuals who are proactively exploring their next move,” she explains. “There are different benefits to different types of hosts.” A bond can be created between host and Hopper. “Being able to share that passion with someone that’s curious about what they do is very beneficial,” she goes on. The feedback she received from hosts is positive, as they enjoy helping others. In addition to the revenue, Freye explains how hosts can bring Hoppers along on their business journey, meet new talent and get a fresh perspective from people that value the experience and the business. “So many people that I speak to are actually job switchers [and] a lot of them are ex-finance, ex-lawyers, ex-engineers,” she admits. “They wish [they] could have shadowed someone.” She is passionate about helping others discover their talent.
“All of our shadowers today have been women, and a huge portion of them have been minority women,” she states. “It’s such a positive, amazing experience.” Hoppers pay an average of $150 a day to go shadow. Out of several shadowing success stories, one stuck out in particular. An angel investor wanted to learn more about the cannabis space by immersing herself in the business. The day she shadowed the Founder of a cannabidiol (CBD) beauty brand, nothing went as planned. “The Angel investor loved the experience,” Freye shares. “For the investor, it was really interesting to see all the battles we fight and all the problems we have to solve as entrepreneurs day in and day out.” The challenges threw off the day planned, but the experience was more authentic.
Team Hoppin (Co-Founder's Bilyana Freye and Luuk Derksen). Photo Courtesy of Freye.
Freye describes the community of Hoppers as being outgoing. “The people that do it [are] a very self-selecting group,” she says. “They’re very, sociable, intellectually curious, positive, outgoing women.” A majority of industries are still predominantly male. Hoppin helps deconstruct this problem in many ways. “There are still too many industries that are male-dominated; we still see dreadful statistics about that and a lot of companies are trying to change but it’s a slow process,” she says. Freye offers a powerful, bold suggestion to the men asking what they can do. “My answer to them is, sign up to be shadowed. “It is such a real, tangible solution. Anyone can sign up, and do it. Bring in an amazing woman to work, and show her what her future could look like,” she concludes. A lot of the shadowing opportunities turn into mentorships with the host afterward.
Freye has many plans in store for Hoppin. In fact, she is one of three entrepreneurs that won the Uber x Girlboss competition last month. The competition's goal is to empower startups with financial support, mentorship and resources. Hoppin came in second place with a prize of $65,000. Freye is extremely grateful for their backing of Hoppin's vision. In addition to the recent win, she also looks forward to launching several more locations in the future, and hopefully expanding to colleges and universities.
This Co-Founder is real, authentic, and truthful. She understands the difficulties behind starting something new -- and she wants our Swaay audience to know. “Starting your business or quitting your job is a really highly stressful thing,” she begins. “It’s a big life commitment [and] my advice would be to start small.” Even for those that aren’t considering switching their jobs and just want to learn something new, Hoppin is a resource for that as well. “It can be a slow process, as long as you’re taking action and putting yourself out there,” Freye continues. “In the long run, I see [Hoppin] as the Airbnb for work.”
“From a very young age I’ve always loved new beginnings,” Freye says. “It’s so terrifying but ultimately so rewarding and exhilarating.”
For decades, women have been unknowingly suffering from PSD and intergenerational trauma, but now Dr. Valerie Rein wants women to reclaim their power through mind, body and healing tools.
As women, no matter how many accomplishments we have or how successful we look on the outside, we all occasionally hear that nagging internal voice telling us to do more. We criticize ourselves more than anyone else and then throw ourselves into the never-ending cycle of self-care, all in effort to save ourselves from crashing into this invisible internal wall. According to psychologist, entrepreneur and author, Dr. Valerie Rein, these feelings are not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you— but chances are you definitely suffering from Patriarchy Stress Disorder.
Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) is defined as the collective inherited trauma of oppression that forms an invisible inner barrier to women's happiness and fulfillment. The term was coined by Rein who discovered a missing link between trauma and the effects that patriarchal power structures have had on certain groups of people all throughout history up until the present day. Her life experience, in addition to research, have led Rein to develop a deeper understanding of the ways in which men and women are experiencing symptoms of trauma and stress that have been genetically passed down from previously oppressed generations.
What makes the discovery of this disorder significant is that it provides women with an answer to the stresses and trauma we feel but cannot explain or overcome. After being admitted to the ER with stroke-like symptoms one afternoon, when Rein noticed the left side of her body and face going numb, she was baffled to learn from her doctors that the results of her tests revealed that her stroke-like symptoms were caused by stress. Rein was then left to figure out what exactly she did for her clients in order for them to be able to step into the fullness of themselves that she was unable to do for herself. "What started seeping through the tears was the realization that I checked all the boxes that society told me I needed to feel happy and fulfilled, but I didn't feel happy or fulfilled and I didn't feel unhappy either. I didn't feel much of anything at all, not even stress," she stated.
Photo Courtesy of Dr. Valerie Rein
This raised the question for Rein as to what sort of hidden traumas women are suppressing without having any awareness of its presence. In her evaluation of her healing methodology, Rein realized that she was using mind, body and trauma healing tools with her clients because, while they had never experienced a traumatic event, they were showing the tell-tale symptoms of trauma which are described as a disconnect from parts of ourselves, body and emotions. In addition to her personal evaluation, research at the time had revealed that traumatic experiences are, in fact, passed down genetically throughout generations. This was Rein's lightbulb moment. The answer to a very real problem that she, and all women, have been experiencing is intergenerational trauma as a result of oppression formed under the patriarchy.
Although Rein's discovery would undoubtably change the way women experience and understand stress, it was crucial that she first broaden the definition of trauma not with the intention of catering to PSD, but to better identify the ways in which trauma presents itself in the current generation. When studying psychology from the books and diagnostic manuals written exclusively by white men, trauma was narrowly defined as a life-threatening experience. By that definition, not many people fit the bill despite showing trauma-like symptoms such as disconnections from parts of their body, emotions and self-expression. However, as the field of psychology has expanded, more voices have been joining the conversations and expanding the definition of trauma based on their lived experience. "I have broadened the definition to say that any experience that makes us feel unsafe psychically or emotionally can be traumatic," stated Rein. By redefining trauma, people across the gender spectrum are able to find validation in their experiences and begin their journey to healing these traumas not just for ourselves, but for future generations.
While PSD is not experienced by one particular gender, as women who have been one of the most historically disadvantaged and oppressed groups, we have inherited survival instructions that express themselves differently for different women. For some women, this means their nervous systems freeze when faced with something that has been historically dangerous for women such as stepping into their power, speaking out, being visible or making a lot of money. Then there are women who go into fight or flight mode. Although they are able to stand in the spotlight, they pay a high price for it when their nervous system begins to work in a constant state of hyper vigilance in order to keep them safe. These women often find themselves having trouble with anxiety, intimacy, sleeping or relaxing without a glass of wine or a pill. Because of this, adrenaline fatigue has become an epidemic among high achieving women that is resulting in heightened levels of stress and anxiety.
"For the first time, it makes sense that we are not broken or making this up, and we have gained this understanding by looking through the lens of a shared trauma. All of these things have been either forbidden or impossible for women. A woman's power has always been a punishable offense throughout history," stated Rein.
Although the idea of having a disorder may be scary to some and even potentially contribute to a victim mentality, Rein wants people to be empowered by PSD and to see it as a diagnosis meant to validate your experience by giving it a name, making it real and giving you a means to heal yourself. "There are still experiences in our lives that are triggering PSD and the more layers we heal, the more power we claim, the more resilience we have and more ability we have in staying plugged into our power and happiness. These triggers affect us less and less the more we heal," emphasized Rein. While the task of breaking intergenerational transmission of trauma seems intimidating, the author has flipped the negative approach to the healing journey from a game of survival to the game of how good can it get.
In her new book, Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment, Rein details an easy system for healing that includes the necessary tools she has sourced over 20 years on her healing exploration with the pioneers of mind, body and trauma resolution. Her 5-step system serves to help "Jailbreakers" escape the inner prison of PSD and other hidden trauma through the process of Waking Up in Prison, Meeting the Prison Guards, Turning the Prison Guards into Body Guards, Digging the Tunnel to Freedom and Savoring Freedom. Readers can also find free tools on Rein's website to help aid in their healing journey and exploration.
"I think of the book coming out as the birth of a movement. Healing is not women against men– it's women, men and people across the gender spectrum, coming together in a shared understanding that we all have trauma and we can all heal."