#SWAAYthenarrative

How to Put the Passion Back into Your Life

4min read
Career

"When was the last time you felt really excited?


When was the last time you felt passionate? I'm not talking about sexual passion. Though that is what most people think about when the word is used. I'm talking about life passion. When you have passion in your life, you wake up excited about the day ahead of you, and you take projects on with enthusiasm. With passion in your heart, you become the woman who goes for it … even when you're going for daunting or difficult things.

A passionate you is a powerful you, but if you're like most women, you probably haven't felt the fire in a long time. (It's tough to feel passionate when you're drowning in your own life, isn't it?) If you're deep in the drowning part right now, you may doubt that passion is possible for you, but that's just not true.

Passion is possible, and you can claim yours TODAY.

(I promise. Keep reading.)

The topic of passion itself can feel tough to grasp. What's the big deal anyway? Who cares if you have it? What difference does it make? The thing is, it can make a pretty big difference. You see, a life without passion can turn you into a member of "The Walking Dead." (In case you haven't watched the popular show, those are flesh-eating zombies I'm referring to. Super fun to watch on TV. Super stinky to live like one.)

If you're stuck in zombie-land, living on autopilot, going through the motions, and just trying to make it through the day, this blog is for you. A life without passion is a life without joy. You deserve so much better than that! Let's light your fire. Like right now.

Step 1 – Name your strengths.

You were born with gifts. In the coaching world, we call these attributes strengths, which are natural talents you're born with. Strengths are things you do so easily; you're not even sure they're important or impressive. How could something so natural matter that much?

Hear me now. There is no mistake in you. Each strength you were born with was given to you by design, and when you connect with these gifts, you become more authentically yourself - which makes you feel more passionate.

You probably already know what your gifts are. They're the talents people acknowledge and rely on you for. Maybe you're a great listener, or you organize effortlessly. Perhaps you're a persuasive communicator or a brilliant teacher.

Write down three of your strengths right now. If you're not sure what they might be, ask a close friend or family member for input. (Positive people only please. Do not ask a critical person for feedback.)

Once you've got your list, start consciously bringing these skills with you into new situations. Look for ways to add value by offering up what you're good at. You'll be amazed at how much more enjoyable everyday activities become when you participate while using your strengths.

Ah, the passion is starting to bubble.

More please….

Step 2 – Define what you value.

In Western society, the term value refers to morality. We're not talking about that here. In the life coaching world, when we talk about values, we're talking about what you value.

What are you interested in? What lights you up? When you bring qualities that excite you into your daily life, you really start burning. (In a very good way.) As it turns out, the things you're interested in are clues to your values. You can start to uncover them with a few questions.

  • When you go into a bookstore (physical or virtual), which section do you head to? Why?
  • Which blogs or podcasts do you seek out each week? Why?
  • If I could give you a free day (where all your stuff would get done just the way you wanted it to), what would you do with the found time? Why?

Your answers to these questions can help you name what you value. For example, I'm addicted to self-help books, and the first blogs I seek out every morning can be found on Swaay.com (who I'm lucky enough to write for). Why? Because I love to learn and teach, and I value wellness, growth, and the perspective of real women.

How about you? What do your answers tell you about what you value? Once you've got an idea, start trying your attributes on for size. When you've landed on an authentic interest, you'll know because it will feel right.

I've had clients tell me they feel more like themselves when they're in the realm of values. It's as if your square-pegged-self has finally found an opening that fits just right. (No more shaving those edges.) Authentic values invite you to engage with life, and all engagement stokes the fires of passion.

Now we're smoldering.

Step 3 – Live purposefully.

The greatest myth told about life's purpose is that it's some mysterious thing you're supposed to do or find. But thinking about it that way will actually keep you from finding it. Your life purpose isn't about any one thing you do. Your life purpose is about how you do everything you do.

You find your life purpose when you begin living with purpose.

Living with purpose is about approaching your experiences with a combination of service and intention. How will you add value? What can you offer to improve the situation at hand? How can you make a positive impact? When you meet life with this level of awareness, you do it differently, and if you want to feel passion, the way you do life matters.

Okay — it's time. Let's create your personal passion formula. Because that will help you do life on purpose. Your recipe has three parts. (We covered each part in our steps in this blog, so you're ready.)

Strengths + Values + Purpose = PASSION.

My passion formula is Teacher + Transformation + Empowerment = KIM ON FUEGO.

Your strengths____ + Your values____ + Your purpose____ = YOU ON FUEGO

Please don't read this passively. Roll your sleeves up, and craft your formula. Then start using it in real life. When you do, you'll be amazed at how things change for the better. You'll behave like your best self and start making choices that help you build your best life. You'll make contributions, focus on solutions, and start to meet your experiences with a new level of openness and intention.

No matter what's going on in your life right now, you can feel passionate again.

No more zombie living for you, okay? Start using your passion formula. Make a note on your smartphone and refer to it before you hop on social media. Write your recipe on a notecard, and carry it in your wallet or briefcase. Share your formula with our community and me in the comments below. I want to know what you!

My mission is your empowerment. That's why I'm here. If you haven't already joined my community, please do it by entering your email (www.kimberlyfulcher.com). Until we meet again, know that life is happening for you.

You've Got This!

Kim

Originally published at www.kimberlyfulcher.com

3 min read
Lifestyle

Help! My Friend Is a No Show

Email armchairpsychologist@swaaymedia.com to get the advice you need!

Help! My Friend Is a No Show

Dear Armchair Psychologist,

I have a friend who doesn't reply to my messages about meeting for dinner, etc. Although, last week I ran into her at a local restaurant of mine, it has always been awkward to be friends with her. Should I continue our friendship or discontinue it? We've been friends for a total four years and nothing has changed. I don't feel as comfortable with her as my other close friends, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reach that comfort zone in pure friendship.

-Sadsies

Dear Sadsies,

I am sorry to hear you've been neglected by your friend. You may already have the answer to your question, since you're evaluating the non-existing bond between yourself and your friend. However, I'll gladly affirm to you that a friendship that isn't reciprocated is not a good friendship.



I have had a similar situation with a friend whom I'd grown up with but who was also consistently a very negative person, a true Debby Downer. One day, I just had enough of her criticism and vitriol. I stopped making excuses for her and dumped her. It was a great decision and I haven't looked back. With that in mind, it could be possible that something has changed in your friend's life, but it's insignificant if she isn't responding to you. It's time to dump her and spend your energy where it's appreciated. Don't dwell on this friend. History is not enough to create a lasting bond, it only means just that—you and your friend have history—so let her be history!



- The Armchair Psychologist

Need more armchair psychologist in your life? Check out the last installment or emailarmchairpsychologist@swaaymedia.com to get some advice of your own!