"When was the last time you felt really excited?
When was the last time you felt passionate? I'm not talking about sexual passion. Though that is what most people think about when the word is used. I'm talking about life passion. When you have passion in your life, you wake up excited about the day ahead of you, and you take projects on with enthusiasm. With passion in your heart, you become the woman who goes for it … even when you're going for daunting or difficult things.
A passionate you is a powerful you, but if you're like most women, you probably haven't felt the fire in a long time. (It's tough to feel passionate when you're drowning in your own life, isn't it?) If you're deep in the drowning part right now, you may doubt that passion is possible for you, but that's just not true.
Passion is possible, and you can claim yours TODAY.
(I promise. Keep reading.)
The topic of passion itself can feel tough to grasp. What's the big deal anyway? Who cares if you have it? What difference does it make? The thing is, it can make a pretty big difference. You see, a life without passion can turn you into a member of "The Walking Dead." (In case you haven't watched the popular show, those are flesh-eating zombies I'm referring to. Super fun to watch on TV. Super stinky to live like one.)
If you're stuck in zombie-land, living on autopilot, going through the motions, and just trying to make it through the day, this blog is for you. A life without passion is a life without joy. You deserve so much better than that! Let's light your fire. Like right now.
Step 1 – Name your strengths.
You were born with gifts. In the coaching world, we call these attributes strengths, which are natural talents you're born with. Strengths are things you do so easily; you're not even sure they're important or impressive. How could something so natural matter that much?
Hear me now. There is no mistake in you. Each strength you were born with was given to you by design, and when you connect with these gifts, you become more authentically yourself - which makes you feel more passionate.
You probably already know what your gifts are. They're the talents people acknowledge and rely on you for. Maybe you're a great listener, or you organize effortlessly. Perhaps you're a persuasive communicator or a brilliant teacher.
Write down three of your strengths right now. If you're not sure what they might be, ask a close friend or family member for input. (Positive people only please. Do not ask a critical person for feedback.)
Once you've got your list, start consciously bringing these skills with you into new situations. Look for ways to add value by offering up what you're good at. You'll be amazed at how much more enjoyable everyday activities become when you participate while using your strengths.
Ah, the passion is starting to bubble.
Step 2 – Define what you value.
In Western society, the term value refers to morality. We're not talking about that here. In the life coaching world, when we talk about values, we're talking about what you value.
What are you interested in? What lights you up? When you bring qualities that excite you into your daily life, you really start burning. (In a very good way.) As it turns out, the things you're interested in are clues to your values. You can start to uncover them with a few questions.
- When you go into a bookstore (physical or virtual), which section do you head to? Why?
- Which blogs or podcasts do you seek out each week? Why?
- If I could give you a free day (where all your stuff would get done just the way you wanted it to), what would you do with the found time? Why?
Your answers to these questions can help you name what you value. For example, I'm addicted to self-help books, and the first blogs I seek out every morning can be found on Swaay.com (who I'm lucky enough to write for). Why? Because I love to learn and teach, and I value wellness, growth, and the perspective of real women.
How about you? What do your answers tell you about what you value? Once you've got an idea, start trying your attributes on for size. When you've landed on an authentic interest, you'll know because it will feel right.
I've had clients tell me they feel more like themselves when they're in the realm of values. It's as if your square-pegged-self has finally found an opening that fits just right. (No more shaving those edges.) Authentic values invite you to engage with life, and all engagement stokes the fires of passion.
Now we're smoldering.
Step 3 – Live purposefully.
The greatest myth told about life's purpose is that it's some mysterious thing you're supposed to do or find. But thinking about it that way will actually keep you from finding it. Your life purpose isn't about any one thing you do. Your life purpose is about how you do everything you do.
You find your life purpose when you begin living with purpose.
Living with purpose is about approaching your experiences with a combination of service and intention. How will you add value? What can you offer to improve the situation at hand? How can you make a positive impact? When you meet life with this level of awareness, you do it differently, and if you want to feel passion, the way you do life matters.
Okay — it's time. Let's create your personal passion formula. Because that will help you do life on purpose. Your recipe has three parts. (We covered each part in our steps in this blog, so you're ready.)
Strengths + Values + Purpose = PASSION.
My passion formula is Teacher + Transformation + Empowerment = KIM ON FUEGO.
Your strengths____ + Your values____ + Your purpose____ = YOU ON FUEGO
Please don't read this passively. Roll your sleeves up, and craft your formula. Then start using it in real life. When you do, you'll be amazed at how things change for the better. You'll behave like your best self and start making choices that help you build your best life. You'll make contributions, focus on solutions, and start to meet your experiences with a new level of openness and intention.
No matter what's going on in your life right now, you can feel passionate again.
No more zombie living for you, okay? Start using your passion formula. Make a note on your smartphone and refer to it before you hop on social media. Write your recipe on a notecard, and carry it in your wallet or briefcase. Share your formula with our community and me in the comments below. I want to know what you!
My mission is your empowerment. That's why I'm here. If you haven't already joined my community, please do it by entering your email (www.kimberlyfulcher.com). Until we meet again, know that life is happening for you.
You've Got This!
Originally published at www.kimberlyfulcher.com
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We are living in a time when women are rising to new heights which means they are regularly being confronted with the fear of being "too much". For women in business this is pervasive and costly.
A few ways women can be perceived as "too much" are:
Speaking up about their successes and achievements.
Sharing one too many photos of their cute kids.
Telling one too many people about that date night.
Looking a little too good in that swimsuit.
These can lead to being publicly attacked on social media or privately slandered which in turn leads to women dimming their light and walking on egg shells in hopes of avoiding conflict and judgement.
The minute a woman feels it's unsafe to shine she will begin to overthink, worry, and fear how she shows up in the world.
Forgetting to announce the book is done and the interview is live.
Choosing to focus on what's still on the to-do list rather than what's been checked off.
Many female entrepreneurs are subconsciously altering their behavior in an attempt to not attract too much attention to themselves, rather than focusing on allowing authenticity and magnetism to attract their ideal clients and community.
Women are afraid of being criticized, ostracized, and abandoned by other women for simply being who they are. This leads to quite the quantum when being who you are is simplest way to accelerate the growth of your business.
New research shows men are far more comfortable with self promotion than women are. Researchers found that men rate their own performance 33 percent higher than equally performing women. What we know is that self promotion pays off and this is where women are missing the boat.
The world needs more women to step into leadership roles and no longer be intimidated about creating six and seven figure careers.
Here are five ways to release the fear of being "too much":
1. Approve of yourself.
While it feels good to receive outside validation it will never be enough if you don't first appreciate yourself. The key to having a healthy support system is to make sure you are part of it. Being your biggest critic is what your mother's generation did. It's now time to be your biggest cheerleader. Becoming aware of self talk will reveal what belief is ready to be re-wired. Create a simply mantra that affirms how incredible capable you are.
2. Connect deeply to those you serve.
One powerful way to shift out of people pleasing behavior is to get clear on who actually matters to the wellbeing and success of your life and business. Leadership is not about being the most popular, instead it's a decision to be brave for those who can't be. Take a few minutes each day to visualize and meditate on those your business serves and supports. See your future clients moving toward you every time you choose to stand in your power and use your authentic voice.
3. Remember the legacy you wish to leave.
Having your life purpose and legacy in writing is one of the most transformational exercises you can do. Reading this often will keep you focused on what matters. Knowing what you wish to leave in the hearts of those you love most is incredibly grounding. You didn't come here to keep your mouth shut, dilute your truth, or dim your light-you came here to make a difference.
4. Forgive those who have been unsupportive in the past.
The past has a way of informing the future in a negative way when there is unresolved pain. Take a few minutes to get quiet and ask yourself who you have unforgiveness towards or maybe their name came to mind as you read this article. Listening to a forgiveness meditation or writing a letter to the person you are ready to forgive are both simple and effective ways to process and heal.
5. Be part a community of bright, successful women.
Meaningful relationships with others who have similar aspirations is what will keep you out of isolation and playing small. These connections can happen in a networking group, online community or a local Meetup. Thriving in every area of life is depend on you knowing where you belong and being celebrated there. Don't wait to be invited, go actively seek out people and places that support your dreams and desires.
6. Accept you can have it all.
Women have been fed a lie for generations that says, you can have love or money. Decide you can have it all and allow it to flow to you. You can have a successful career and an amazing mother. You can balance motherhood and loving marriage. Don't let anyone write the rules for you. This is the time to create the life you desire on your terms.
7. Celebrate everything!
The fastest way to leave the haters in the dust is to celebrate everything! At the end of each day lay in bed and recall the best moments. At the end of each week, publicly acknowledge and celebrate what's good in your life. Once a month, have a celebration dinner and share it with those who have helped you in the journey. If there's something good happening, talk about it with everyone who will listen!
May you be a woman who chooses to shine so that others may be reminded of all they can be and do.