Women's intuition is a thing. We hear it time and time again, that women have a keener sense of our gut feelings and that women are more intuitive than men, but are we really?
While science will show that both genders possess the same amount of ability to tap into their subconscious, therefore receive gut feelings, intuitive messages and perceptions, perhaps it's simply that women are more likely to learn about or more trusting to follow certain impulses and guttural hits. We know we are more likely to discuss this important aspect of our survival, openly. But as of late, we must rewrite that script because mental health, hypnosis, meditation and mind science is on the rise. And men are beginning to not only join in the conversation but to lead the charge. Mind health started with alarming us to Autism moving into sirens sounding around Alzheimers, now the bells and whistles of AI and the new-mind frontier have all joined in the cacophony.
We've become good at virtually everything and as more and more information travels the superhighway, let's look at our subconscious basics (for more details check out Subconscious Power: Use Your Inner Mind to Create the Life You've Always Wanted) before our neural networks get tangled and our synapses slow down.
1) Information keeps you safe
Your subconscious mind gathers information and stores information at record speed. Why? For your successful survival. This information is quickly translated as good for me or not good for me. Your survival is the number one priority of your subconscious. Thoughts like did I leave the oven on; or did I close the garage door? Is this person telling me the truth? Am I being warned of something looming in the future? All of these hits or gut instincts keep you safe so the more sensitive you become to the whisper or tap on the shoulder, the better. Chances are, you've heard the saying 'stranger danger'. Let your subconscious assist you in knowing who is safe and who is not.
2) Evolution for learning
You might have very strong impulses to take a certain job or connect with a certain mate and you follow through with your gut. You commit to this person, place or thing and then with time, you find it doesn't work out. Can a subconscious intuitive hit be wrong? No, not really and here's why. We are evolutionary creatures and learn by engaging in experiences. Like any gamer knows, you must pass one level to continue to the next and life lessons are no exception in the game of life. Going with your gut and not getting the outcome you expected is not failure, rather evolution's way of teaching us our lessons. This goes back to the saying 'you don't always get what you want, you get what you need'.
3) More is better
Like any muscle group, the more you use your subconscious, the stronger it gets. The reverse is true, too. An atrophied intuition is nothing to be proud of because being in sync with your inner GPS means you're listening to your most valued asset, your subconscious power. Any time you follow your gut instinct and it works out for you, is called a convincer. This convincer literally convinces you to do it again and again for each success then ultimately many successful outcomes. These outcomes then build confidence toward the next and the next outcome until one day you look back on your life as both successful and happy. Isn't that what we are all looking for?
When you agree to follow your intuition you agree to a plan, a blueprint that was set in motion long before your conscious mind came on board. You agree to connect, listen and follow this divine source of knowledge for your progression and your journey. For this we are grateful! And in gratitude, we appreciate and honor that which makes us special. We honor our intuitive guide and enjoy the insights and richness of spirit our subconscious gives us.
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Dating. Divorce. Marriage. Being single. None of it is easy.
I don't think any of us have the right answers or know exactly what we are doing when we navigate through relationships or breakups, even if we do take every Buzzfeed quiz there is out there. What I have found out though, is by writing this book, Female. Likes Cheese. Comes with Dog: Stories about Dating, Divorce & Saying "I Do" most everyone can relate to some part of it, whether it is having an awkward date, being dumped, or falling in love. The short stories read as if we are talking over drinks at a bar gossiping about our love life. It's as if, you, reader, are one of my best friends. I hope by reading this book you are reminded that you don't have to be anybody but you and your mistakes are simply memories to learn upon. Get comfy, grab a glass of wine (or your beverage of choice), cuddle with your furry companion (pet or otherwise), and enjoy…
From the chapter "Kansas & The Firepit" from Female. Likes Cheese. Comes with Dog: Stories about Divorce, Dating & Saying "I Do"
I had lost my dog to my ex. I was a mess. I thought this man was going to be by my side the rest of my life, I had gained a lot of weight. Not the kind of weight you gain when you tell your friend "OMG, Kelly, I, like, put on five pounds this summer because of all the partying I've been doing at the rooftop bars," but real weight. The weight that makes you feel totally inadequate. The weight that makes you say, Hey I might as well keep eating because it doesn't matter anymore. I was inconsolable during that summer.
I still wasn't completely out of my trash TV and alcohol phase, but I had switched to vodka, at least. Which, let's be real, just hides the fact that you're an alcoholic. I wasn't really talking to anyone about my problems. My mom tried to take me to fat camp. Yes, fat camp. When your mother says the reason why you're not happy is because you're fat, there comes a point where you really don't know whether to laugh, cry, or drink. I think I did all three. The reason why I wasn't happy was because I was going through a divorce, and my life was unraveling. I was not only unhappy but also fat, so I guess there was some truth to that. It was just what I needed to hear to get myself back to reality.
While cleaning the kitchen one day, I walked by a pair of boxing gloves. Boxing was something I had always been interested in. Watching it on TV and having some friends that had done it professionally, I figured I would take the plunge and put this "body after breakup" into motion.
There was only one boxing club in our area for fitness. I walked into the afternoon classes knowing that I was going to be a little out of my element, but I'm not afraid of a challenge. I'm an outgoing person and being sports savvy, I knew that I would catch on quickly. The guy teaching the class, Kansas, was very attractive. Ladies, you know how in yoga when you have to do the sun god pose? Well, let's just say he was what you would hope a sun god looked like. With sweat glistening down the side of his face, it was almost as if the ceiling parted and angels started singing as he stood over you telling you, "Ten more!" as you got down for ab rounds between punches. This guy was exciting. He was energetic. He was. . . constantly checking on me during class to make sure my form was correct, since I was new, and let's face it—I was totally OK with the attention. After class I signed up for a one-year membership and became addicted, not just because I loved the workouts but also because of the hot trainer.
I started coming to class three times a week, initially taking only Kansas's classes, but not wanting to look obvious when I really started crushing on him, I had to mix it up. I mean, this is Crushing 101. This was my first crush out of the gate post-divorce, so exactly what you think would happen, happened. Kansas became my rebound guy. I would make any excuse to linger after class (which, looking back, just made me look desperate), but then sometimes I would switch it up and leave. I mean, it was a game. I was trying to figure out if he was interested or not. It was exhausting. After talking after class for a few weeks, I happened to mention a home improvement project I had been thinking of working on. Being the good listener (stalker?) that I was, I knew he just happened to be interested in home improvements, as he did many of his own. I figured that would be a great way to get to know each other better and for him to fall completely in love with me, of course. Duh. Now I had a reason to cross something off my "list". I love sitting outside and having a glass of wine and listening to music by a fire. I wasn't really sure how I was going to accomplish this task on my own, but recruiting a fine gentleman like Kansas would be a good start. So, he agreed to my firepit project, and after gathering supplies at Home Depot, he came over, and I quote to you from my journal, I kid you not:
So today he shows up, and we are in the backyard digging the hole, and he takes his shirt off. His body is a wonderland! I mean sweat is just glistening down his torso. So I had to change the subject somehow and shut my gaping mouth, so like an idiot I say, "Oh, look, a callus on my hand," and he says, "Those on a woman are sexy." FML.
Ladies and gentlemen, do you want to know what I did that day? Something so adult and so mature: I pushed him into the dirt. I pushed that beautiful body into the dirt. I couldn't take it. I was like a schoolkid on a playground. Because that is the type of tantrum this lady used to throw. Kansas took it as flirting. I took it as frustration, because I couldn't tell a boy I liked him at the time.
This whole awkward flirting game went on for a few more weeks. Kansas would come over, and we'd dig more holes (to bury my dignity in) or set stones—I don't know. I thought rebound guys were supposed to be fun, casual things, but this wasn't fun at all. This was like homework in school. Every day I'd come home from "class," and I'd strategize on what I needed to do to make better "grades." If I had actually spent half the time in real school that I spent on Kansas, I would've had a 4.0. I was having to chase him, but I almost didn't know what race I was running. After all, I hadn't dated since 1884. So I figured if the firepit thing didn't work, then I'd write him a poem... Like a moron...