Lifestyle 02 April 2018
This is a great month to be reminded of the message that Spring brings to all of us — new beginnings.
We start the month with Mercury in retrograde in Aries. This reminds us that we need to take action towards creating closure, forgiveness, and the healing of old wounds or misunderstandings. It's also a great time to work on erasing debt and actually physically cleaning up your personal spaces. Get rid of things that you don't need. Pull up the dead plants and prepare your garden. You also must prepare your heart and your life just like a garden so the success and abundance can grow. On April 16th Mercury goes direct and is still in Aries barreling towards Uranus this month. You better be ready for your future because here it comes!
(March 21 - April 19)
“The mad scientist" … Happy Birthday Aries!
You are the first sign and get the zodiac year started. This is perfect, because you love anything new and different! This is a special spring for you with Mercury going direct in Aries on the 16th— and Uranus still hanging on in the Ram sign as well. What does this mean for you? You are the future right now. You will have glimpses of the trajectory of things. Let it simmer until April 16th, then start to write it down or talk about your ideas with trusted colleagues. Invent. Tinker. Plant things. Experiment. This is a creative time that will bear much fruit long into the future. There is more work than fun but it pays off.
April 29: Show your heart.
(April 20 - May 20)
“Peas and Carrots..."
I love that vintage Disney cartoon Ferdinand the Bull. Ferdinand is the epitome of Taurus— lazing around in a spring field of flowers. This is a perfect picture of you, except for one thing — you will have your laptop humming during this bucolic picnic. Taurus can be the laziest sign, as well as the hardest working sign, in the zodiac. This month, you — along with Capricorn — will be the latter version; cranking out the reports, art, spreadsheets, projects, or whatever you consider to be your work. Don't burn out or be too serious. Take breaks and stop to smell those roses.
April 25-26 : Spring clean and organize.
May 21- June 20
The first half of April you will probably be feeling the showers more than the flowers of spring. There are a lot of heavy influences right now, and your ruling planet Mercury is in retrograde in Aries until the 15th. You may feel down or depressed this month— which is very foreign territory to Geminis. This too shall pass. Exercise, creativity and meditation could be helpful for you. However, not thinking before you speak will not be helpful to you during this time. Your verbal governor is out of order until the 15th. Also, wear a helmet. I'm not joking. Mercury retrograde in Aries can make you more prone to head injuries!
April 27-28: Date night.
June 21- July 22
“I was dreamin' when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray." - Prince
Ok so things are tough right now. You have Aries and Saturn squares all over your chart. Mercury is in retrograde in Aries and Mars is conjunct Saturn in Capricorn. Let's just stop counting the strikes against you, shall we? Whenever someone is swimming in this many challenging aspects, I always have them ask “WWPD?" (What Would Prince Do?).
Party like it's 1999 of course! Especially with Neptune in Pisces and Venus in Taurus. These lovelies are handing our Cancer friends love, fun and illusion on a silver platter. You're welcome.
April 12-13: Make your first batch of cotton candy at home…or anything else pink and lovely that you fancy.
July 23- August 22
Your love-life may be a little contentious this month. You may feel like you keep hitting stubborn brick walls with your partner. Work may seem sluggish. You have many plans for expansion but they are stalled because of loads of boring but necessary tasks. It's time to focus on what's flowing in your life. Ideas. Visions. Inventions. Dreamy vistas of future life paths are laying out before you. Watch, listen and be dazzled. After April 15th, you should write it all down, make a vision board or make a speech about it.
April 23-24: Dress up and make your entrance.
August 23- September 22
“I'm not sure which is worse, intense feeling or the absence of it." - Margaret Atwood
This month is very productive, intense and focused for you. Until April 15th, you feel as if you are bailing water out of your boat but it keeps filling up. After mid-month, you begin to see more traction. While most signs are reeling from the Saturn-Mars conjunction, you are riding this bull like a pro. You are exhausted and drained from the challenge…but isn't it amazing how well you are handling this ride? I'm betting on you this month for the win. Also, look up at least a couple of times to notice all of the people that are smitten with you and want to take you out.
April 10-11: Buy a magic set.
September 23- October 22.
“Don't fall through the ice!"
Libras have a reputation for being “shallow". This is true for some Librans, but for most— it is less about being shallow, and more about their propensity for staying in their heads and out of their emotions regarding stressful situations. Sometimes for the water signs or earth signs, it is hard to connect with our Libra friends because of this trait. The emotional and physical signs experience the world so differently. This month, a Libra's ability to not be dragged down into the mire of negative stress and emotion is a beautiful gift. Keep tap dancing on the surface dear Librans, the storm will pass.
April 19-20: Speak another language.
(October 23- November 21)
“The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't be a farmer." - Will Rogers
You are still in serious work mode this month— and this spring it is even more intense.
Just like the farmer in April, you are breaking your back — preparing the soil, getting rid of the dead plants from last season and planting seeds. When you look up after all of this hard work what do you see? A big patch of lifeless mud. No worries. I guarantee this will be one of your best crops ever. Your money, career, assets, lifestyle and anything else that you desire is going to grow like crazy. Just be patient…and fertilize.
April 21-22: be good to your spouse.
November 22- December 21
“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point." - George Carlin
Just like many of the other signs, there will be April showers for you this month, my dear Sagittarius. But never fear— things get brighter when Mercury in Aries leaves retrograde around the 15th. When you get your gift of gab back during the second half of the month, I suggest that you join the Cancers (see above) at their end of the world party and live it up! You could be the comedic entertainment. It's worth a try- I promise the food and drink will be spectacular …it's a Cancer's home.
April 19-20: dance by yourself.
(December 22- January 19)
“If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm." - Frank Lane
This is a particularly yucky Mercury in retrograde for you. Please wear a helmet, slow down, wear your seatbelt, don't lose your temper, etc. After April 15th, things get so much better — and not just because more than 50% of all Capricorns are accountants and tax season is finally over. The bigger reason is that so many huge transits are in your sign right now. It's extremely intense and wreaking havoc on so many. Not you, my sweet Capricorn. Climbing steadily in harsh conditions is your natural habitat. I said earlier that I'm betting on Virgo to win— but you have a great shot at the podium as well. Isn't it fun when the nerds get to be the cool kids for a little while?
April 25-26: win at your spin class without even trying.
(January 20- February 18)
“The happy sidekick."
I'm still telling you to lean into your humor this month my Aquarius friends. Just like Libra (see above) your strength during this intense transit time is your ability to skim the surface of emotions and not be plowed under by the negativity of others. Look for those Capricorn or Virgo colleagues and ask if they need help — or ask them to help you. Let others lead, and try to laugh a lot. After April 15th you will be able to command attention again.
April 27-28: paint your toes a crazy color. Oh wait- they already are a crazy color…you're an Aquarius.
(February 19- March 20)
“A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work." - John Lubbock
Work and life are really good, it's just stressful! You internalize everything and make it emotional. Please “clean" your energy this month. Take salt baths. Make sure your get the workouts in. It's a lot to deal with right now, but none of it is bad for you. After April 15th, you will feel a big lift. The middle of the month will be great for your relationship and attraction. Take advice from those that you trust— you aren't seeing everything so clearly right now. Slow down and stop worrying.
April 2-4: good love.
In 2016, I finally found my voice. I always thought I had one, especially as a business owner and mother of two vocal toddlers, but I had been wrong.
For more than 30 years, I had been struggling with the fear of being my true self and speaking my truth. Then the repressed memories of my childhood sexual abuse unraveled before me while raising my 3-year-old daughter, and my life has not been the same since.
Believe it or not, I am happy about that.
The journey for a survivor like me to feel even slightly comfortable sharing these words, without fear of being shamed or looked down upon, is a long and often lonely one. For all of the people out there in the shadows who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, I dedicate this to you. You might never come out to talk about it and that's okay, but I am going to do so here and I hope that in doing so, I will open people's eyes to the long-term effects of abuse. As a survivor who is now fully conscious of her abuse, I suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and, quite frankly, it may never go away.
It took me some time to accept that and I refuse to let it stop me from thriving in life; therefore, I strive to manage it (as do many others with PTSD) through various strategies I've learned and continue to learn through personal and group therapy. Over the years, various things have triggered my repressed memories and emotions of my abuse--from going to birthday parties and attending preschool tours to the Kavanaugh hearing and most recently, the"Leaving Neverland" documentary (I did not watch the latter, but read commentary about it).
These triggers often cause panic attacks. I was angry when I read Barbara Streisand's comments about the men who accused Michael Jackson of sexually abusing them, as detailed in the documentary. She was quoted as saying, "They both married and they both have children, so it didn't kill them." She later apologized for her comments. I was frustrated when one of the senators questioning Dr. Christine Blasey Ford (during the Kavanaugh hearing) responded snidely that Dr. Ford was still able to get her Ph.D. after her alleged assault--as if to imply she must be lying because she gained success in life.We survivors are screaming to the world, "You just don't get it!" So let me explain: It takes a great amount of resilience and fortitude to walk out into society every day knowing that at any moment an image, a sound, a color, a smell, or a child crying could ignite fear in us that brings us back to that moment of abuse, causing a chemical reaction that results in a panic attack.
So yes, despite enduring and repressing those awful moments in my early life during which I didn't understand what was happening to me or why, decades later I did get married; I did become a parent; I did start a business that I continue to run today; and I am still learning to navigate this "new normal." These milestones do not erase the trauma that I experienced. Society needs to open their eyes and realize that any triumph after something as ghastly as childhood abuse should be celebrated, not looked upon as evidence that perhaps the trauma "never happened" or "wasn't that bad. "When a survivor is speaking out about what happened to them, they are asking the world to join them on their journey to heal. We need love, we need to feel safe and we need society to learn the signs of abuse and how to prevent it so that we can protect the 1 out of 10 children who are being abused by the age of 18. When I state this statistic at events or in large groups, I often have at least one person come up to me after and confide that they too are a survivor and have kept it a secret. My vehicle for speaking out was through the novella The Survivors Club, which is the inspiration behind a TV pilot that my co-creator and I are pitching as a supernatural, mind-bending TV series. Acknowledging my abuse has empowered me to speak up on behalf of innocent children who do not have a voice and the adult survivors who are silent.
Remembering has helped me further understand my young adult challenges,past risky relationships, anger issues, buried fears, and my anxieties. I am determined to thrive and not hide behind these negative things as they have molded me into the strong person I am today.Here is my advice to those who wonder how to best support survivors of sexual abuse:Ask how we need support: Many survivors have a tough exterior, which means the people around them assume they never need help--we tend to be the caregivers for our friends and families. Learning to be vulnerable was new for me, so I realized I needed a check-off list of what loved ones should ask me afterI had a panic attack.
The list had questions like: "Do you need a hug," "How are you feeling," "Do you need time alone."Be patient with our PTSD". Family and close ones tend to ask when will the PTSD go away. It isn't a cold or a disease that requires a finite amount of drugs or treatment. There's no pill to make it miraculously disappear, but therapy helps manage it and some therapies have been known to help it go away. Mental Health America has a wealth of information on PTSD that can help you and survivors understand it better. Have compassion: When I was with friends at a preschool tour to learn more about its summer camp, I almost fainted because I couldn't stop worrying about my kids being around new teenagers and staff that might watch them go the bathroom or put on their bathing suit. After the tour, my friends said,"Nubia, you don't have to put your kids in this camp. They will be happy doing other things this summer."
In that moment, I realized how lucky I was to have friends who understood what I was going through and supported me. They showed me love and compassion, which made me feel safe and not judged.