It's not uncommon for two former colleagues to start a business together. But what's so rare and special about Carissa Tozzi and Gena Mann is the personal reasons they came together to create the parenting site Wolf + Friends. Both former magazine editors—Carissa was the entertainment director at CosmoGIRL! and Seventeen as well as VP of Talent Relations at Refinery 29 and Gena a photo director at Elle, O and CosmoGIRL!—the two actually grew up in the same Long Island town, only to reconnect at CosmoGIRL!.
Gena, now a mother of four, left the magazine world in 2004 when her oldest son was diagnosed with autism. After Carissa's son Wolf was born in 2011, she became immersed in exploring the kids/parenting space online. It bothered her that the shopping sites didn't feel inclusive. They were either for parents of typically developing children OR children with learning differences—not both.
For fun, Tozzi started Pinning and Instagramming the products that she felt would benefit all parents. She expanded the content to the site Wolf + Friends site and brought Mann on board for her hands-on experience and perspective. They knew they could fill this important void in the parenting space together—and in the fall of 2016, they started working on the site full-time. “We want to help parents be more compassionate with their children as well as raise awareness for parents that all kids develop in different ways and at different times," explains Tozzi.
Here, Tozzi and Mann talk more about the journey that brought them together to create Wolf + Friends. And, they're offering inspiring advice and insight every entrepreneur needs to hear. Not only did they follow their passion to start a business they believe in deeply but also, they've pushed themselves to utilize, develop and learn skills vastly different from the career paths they once pursued. That growth is just one of the many secrets of their success!
How did Wolf + Friends come about?
Carissa: After Wolf was born, I got super involved in the kid's space. I was discovering all these awesome toys, cool playrooms and cute clothes on Instagram and Pinterest. I was learning about all the women behind many of these brands too and really interested in what was happening in the mom and kid spaces. But at the same time, I felt like there was no meaning behind all these cool products—I felt like it could go another level, I just didn't know what the level was yet. And I was meeting other parents and hearing about their kids, the challenges they were facing and what their different needs were. Every single kid has something that they're working on, and I just started wondering—what can I do in the kid's space that's more meaningful? I had this idea to make something inclusive for all kids with a compassionate element to it.
So, Gena, what happened when Carissa contacted you? Were you ready for a business opportunity?
Gena: Carissa came over and showed my husband and I what she was working on, and our jaws dropped. But, it was right after my fourth child was born. She was eight months old at the time and I was wildly overwhelmed. So, I was like, "This is so cool and I'll help you in any way I can. I'll give ideas, I'll be a sounding board, but I don't have time." Later that night, my husband encouraged me. He was like, 'You have to be a part of this!' In my downtime, I was already on Instagram and Pinterest looking at cool stuff to purchase for my own kids. He was like, 'You know this, and if you're going to spend time on it anyway, then do it with her!' And, that's how I came on board.
Talk about how you guys work together as a team—what do you each bring to the table?
Gena: Carissa has been so respectful of the fact that I have four kids, and special needs to deal with, so I can't write back to emails right away or take a call at any time of day. I pick my daughter up at 11:30am from preschool, she knows that's important to me, so typically we'll work before or after. That's been amazing. And our backgrounds are similar with both of us coming from the editorial side of magazines. But, we both bring different things to the table. Carissa has become an art director. She's taught herself to design this beautiful site, and has done so much of the marketing and the social media. I have the contacts with therapists and experts who are giving advice on the site. They're all people that have either worked with my kids or come to us through social media.
Did you both always know that one day you'd go out on your own?
Gena: I was living in Connecticut, raising kids and not looking for anything. But this opportunity made me realize that if I were to do something, this is exactly what I should be doing. My dad has always said, 'Do what you love and the money will come.' If it's something you're passionate about, and you're filling a need, solving a problem and know that your brand needs to exist—then you will be able to make it successful. This was the perfect opportunity. I couldn't pass it up.
What's a typical day like for you?
Carissa: I wake up really early, like 5 am. I get coffee and see what's happening online and go through all my emails. Then I figure out what we're posting on Instagram that day. I'm also constantly researching. I look for ways to make the site clearer. I'll set up meetings to tell the right people about what we're doing. The to-do list is endless. Finding the most important thing to focus on is hard because I will go off in a million different directions. Everything adds value—but I must decide what's the most valuable thing to do each day.
What do you think sets Wolf + Friends apart in the mom/kid space?
Carissa: How we're curating our stuff. If your kids have any special needs or they're going to therapy—the therapists, the schools, whomever you're seeing, are going to direct you to a therapy site to get the toys and other accessories you need to have at home. You can find many of the toys that we feature on therapy sites—but on a therapy site, it doesn't look nice. It doesn't look happy—it looks scary and clinical. We wanted to create a space that it doesn't have to look and feel like that. Even if you're feeling anxious about your situation, there's no reason to add to that. We want to make it a little easier.
What's been the most rewarding part of starting Wolf + Friends?
Carissa: The creative aspect is the thing that I really wanted to get my hands on when I worked in magazines. I cared so much about the way things looked, but I had no say. Now, I have this say and I can experiment and it's fun. But, doing something on your own—the growth in your mind is so good. I think I was like dying inside by doing the same thing day after day after day. Now I'm challenged and I feel good. I like spending time with my son and being present in his learning—before I didn't know what was going on. Now we have conversations about school. He's five; he's a little older—but the connection I feel with him is so much stronger. He knows how loved he is and he loves us so much. I just couldn't leave him now.
Where do you see Wolf + Friends a year from now?
Carissa: I think that we really hope to define the service aspect. Right now, everything on the site is expertly curated and design-focused. You can shop our site. You're going to learn about the product. You're going to feel good about it and know what to do with it when you bring it home. However, all that can be expanded on. There's so many details that can be added because Wolf + Friends benefits all kids. We're educating parents on why these toys and products are valuable, instead of saying, 'Oh, here's a cute thing.' Instead, we're explaining why you need to have toys that will do things like move their bodies, or build their core. All these things are important, so we want to get that message across that you need to work on it with your kids at home—together. As for the business side, we want to make the shopping part easier, helpful and thoughtful.
Women have come a long way in redefining beauty to be more inclusive of different body types, skin colors and hair styles, but society's beauty standards still remain as high as we have always known them to be. In the workplace, professionalism is directly linked to the appearance of both men and women, but for women, the expectations and requirements needed to fit the part are far stricter. Unlike men, there exists a direct correlation between beauty and respect that women are forced to acknowledge, and in turn comply with, in order to succeed.
Before stepping foot into the workforce, women who choose to opt out of conventional beauty and grooming regiments are immediately at a disadvantage. A recent Forbes article analyzing the attractiveness bias at work cited a comprehensive academic review for its study on the benefits attractive adults receive in the labor market. A summary of the review stated, "'Physically attractive individuals are more likely to be interviewed for jobs and hired, they are more likely to advance rapidly in their careers through frequent promotions, and they earn higher wages than unattractive individuals.'" With attractiveness and success so tightly woven together, women often find themselves adhering to beauty standards they don't agree with in order to secure their careers.
Complying with modern beauty standards may be what gets your foot in the door in the corporate world, but once you're in, you are expected to maintain your appearance or risk being perceived as unprofessional. While it may not seem like a big deal, this double standard has become a hurdle for businesswomen who are forced to fit this mold in order to earn respect that men receive regardless of their grooming habits. Liz Elting, Founder and CEO of the Elizabeth Elting Foundation, is all too familiar with conforming to the beauty culture in order to command respect, and has fought throughout the course of her entrepreneurial journey to override this gender bias.
As an internationally-recognized women's advocate, Elting has made it her mission to help women succeed on their own, but she admits that little progress can be made until women reclaim their power and change the narrative surrounding beauty and success. In 2016, sociologists Jaclyn Wong and Andrew Penner conducted a study on the positive association between physical attractiveness and income. Their results concluded that "attractive individuals earn roughly 20 percent more than people of average attractiveness," not including controlling for grooming. The data also proves that grooming accounts entirely for the attractiveness premium for women as opposed to only half for men. With empirical proof that financial success in directly linked to women's' appearance, Elting's desire to have women regain control and put an end to beauty standards in the workplace is necessary now more than ever.
Although the concepts of beauty and attractiveness are subjective, the consensus as to what is deemed beautiful, for women, is heavily dependent upon how much effort she makes towards looking her best. According to Elting, men do not need to strive to maintain their appearance in order to earn respect like women do, because while we appreciate a sharp-dressed man in an Armani suit who exudes power and influence, that same man can show up to at a casual office in a t-shirt and jeans and still be perceived in the same light, whereas women will not. "Men don't have to demonstrate that they're allowed to be in public the way women do. It's a running joke; show up to work without makeup, and everyone asks if you're sick or have insomnia," says Elting. The pressure to look our best in order to be treated better has also seeped into other areas of women's lives in which we sometimes feel pressured to make ourselves up in situations where it isn't required such as running out to the supermarket.
So, how do women begin the process of overriding this bias? Based on personal experience, Elting believes that women must step up and be forceful. With sexism so rampant in workplace, respect for women is sometimes hard to come across and even harder to earn. "I was frequently assumed to be my co-founder's secretary or assistant instead of the person who owned the other half of the company. And even in business meetings where everyone knew that, I would still be asked to be the one to take notes or get coffee," she recalls. In effort to change this dynamic, Elting was left to claim her authority through self-assertion and powering over her peers when her contributions were being ignored. What she was then faced with was the alternate stereotype of the bitchy executive. She admits that teetering between the caregiver role or the bitch boss on a power trip is frustrating and offensive that these are the two options businesswomen are left with.
Despite the challenges that come with standing your ground, women need to reclaim their power for themselves and each other. "I decided early on that I wanted to focus on being respected rather than being liked. As a boss, as a CEO, and in my personal life, I stuck my feet in the ground, said what I wanted to say, and demanded what I needed – to hell with what people think," said Elting. In order for women to opt out of ridiculous beauty standards, we have to own all the negative responses that come with it and let it make us stronger– and we don't have to do it alone. For men who support our fight, much can be achieved by pushing back and policing themselves and each other when women are being disrespected. It isn't about chivalry, but respecting women's right to advocate for ourselves and take up space.
For Elting, her hope is to see makeup and grooming standards become an optional choice each individual makes rather than a rule imposed on us as a form of control. While she states she would never tell anyone to stop wearing makeup or dressing in a way that makes them feel confident, the slumping shoulders of a woman resigned to being belittled looks far worse than going without under-eye concealer. Her advice to women is, "If you want to navigate beauty culture as an entrepreneur, the best thing you can be is strong in the face of it. It's exactly the thing they don't want you to do. That means not being afraid to be a bossy, bitchy, abrasive, difficult woman – because that's what a leader is."