When you think of money, what comes to mind first? For most people, it's lack. Money sparks images of bills and debt instead of wealth and abundance.
Isn't that a curious kind of thing? Money is a very physical thing that can come in the form of paper or coin – but most people in our society associate it with the opposite. When you hear the word money, your mind actually thinks about the feeling of not having money instead of thinking about the physical money.
But when you really delve into the topic, it makes a lot of sense. We naturally associate words with feelings. And for most of us, money elicits feelings of lack. It's a cycle that begins at a young age… but it doesn't have to.
That's one reason why it's important to teach your tween how to save now. If your tween starts saving now, she can face those defining moments of young adulthood from a perspective of abundance instead of lack.
The money mindset begins now
By the time your child approaches his teenage years, he has already begun to form an opinion on money. And there's some good news and bad news: Those opinions largely come from you and your relationship with money.
If you've got it all figured out, there's nothing but good news in the equation. But if you have some work to do on your own money mindset, it's not all sunshine and roses.
But there's a silver lining…
Once you've identified your own blocks, you can course correct with your child. Take a look at your own spending habits to see whether you can dissect any hidden beliefs you may have about money. If you can't, and you have trouble with saving, spending or making money, you may want to talk to someone who specializes in the money mindset.
At the very least, read a book about creating positive habits around money, so you can pass on some healthier habits to your tween. The relationship he forms with money today will stay with him for a lifetime, so this is important.
Compound interest is a young adult's best friend
Compound interest is the easiest way to explain the benefits of saving to your young adult. If you have an account where you can illustrate the benefits of compound interest over time, now is a great time to share the learnings with your child.
If not, no worries. You can still walk through an example of compound interest with the money your tween has to invest.
For example, let's say your 13-year-old child has $1,000 today. She invests that money into an interest bearing account for the next 10 years. Without adding a dime (or withdrawing a dime), at an 8 percent interest rate, that $1,000 will more than double. And it may not seem like a lot, but the longer you leave the money there, the more it will grow. After 20 years, you'll have four times as much in the account at the same interest rate.
And, naturally, the more your child invests, the greater the benefits. It's always better to invest early than to try and catch up later.
Emergency funds can save your financial future
Now's a good time to teach your child what could happen if you don't have an emergency fund.
Most of us learn by example, so let's explore one possible scenario:
Bob graduates college and gets an apartment with his friends. He has a job earning $7.25 an hour and that barely covers his living expenses. After living expenses, Bob always has about $150 left in the bank. This is his "entertainment money," and he always spends it.
But this month, Bob's certified preowned Volvo broke down. The cost of the repair was $200. Now, Bob has -$200. He was forced to take on credit card debt to get his car fixed. His bills just got a slight increase because he's making minimum payments on his credit card.
By making minimum payments, Bob will take nearly 2 years to pay off that credit card and pay an extra $52 at a 24 percent APR.
This is one strike. And there will inevitably be more to follow.
It's easy to see how things can snowball from here. When you're spending money you don't have, it will always cost you. As overdraft fees, late fees and interest charges pile up, you'll end up losing money you don't even have. It's difficult to catch up once you've fallen down this rabbit hole.
That's why an emergency fund is so crucial.
If you want your children to experience financial freedom, you have to equip them with the right tools. What techniques are you using to tach your kids about money?
For decades, women have been unknowingly suffering from PSD and intergenerational trauma, but now Dr. Valerie Rein wants women to reclaim their power through mind, body and healing tools.
As women, no matter how many accomplishments we have or how successful we look on the outside, we all occasionally hear that nagging internal voice telling us to do more. We criticize ourselves more than anyone else and then throw ourselves into the never-ending cycle of self-care, all in effort to save ourselves from crashing into this invisible internal wall. According to psychologist, entrepreneur and author, Dr. Valerie Rein, these feelings are not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you— but chances are you definitely suffering from Patriarchy Stress Disorder.
Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) is defined as the collective inherited trauma of oppression that forms an invisible inner barrier to women's happiness and fulfillment. The term was coined by Rein who discovered a missing link between trauma and the effects that patriarchal power structures have had on certain groups of people all throughout history up until the present day. Her life experience, in addition to research, have led Rein to develop a deeper understanding of the ways in which men and women are experiencing symptoms of trauma and stress that have been genetically passed down from previously oppressed generations.
What makes the discovery of this disorder significant is that it provides women with an answer to the stresses and trauma we feel but cannot explain or overcome. After being admitted to the ER with stroke-like symptoms one afternoon, when Rein noticed the left side of her body and face going numb, she was baffled to learn from her doctors that the results of her tests revealed that her stroke-like symptoms were caused by stress. Rein was then left to figure out what exactly she did for her clients in order for them to be able to step into the fullness of themselves that she was unable to do for herself. "What started seeping through the tears was the realization that I checked all the boxes that society told me I needed to feel happy and fulfilled, but I didn't feel happy or fulfilled and I didn't feel unhappy either. I didn't feel much of anything at all, not even stress," she stated.
Photo Courtesy of Dr. Valerie Rein
This raised the question for Rein as to what sort of hidden traumas women are suppressing without having any awareness of its presence. In her evaluation of her healing methodology, Rein realized that she was using mind, body and trauma healing tools with her clients because, while they had never experienced a traumatic event, they were showing the tell-tale symptoms of trauma which are described as a disconnect from parts of ourselves, body and emotions. In addition to her personal evaluation, research at the time had revealed that traumatic experiences are, in fact, passed down genetically throughout generations. This was Rein's lightbulb moment. The answer to a very real problem that she, and all women, have been experiencing is intergenerational trauma as a result of oppression formed under the patriarchy.
Although Rein's discovery would undoubtably change the way women experience and understand stress, it was crucial that she first broaden the definition of trauma not with the intention of catering to PSD, but to better identify the ways in which trauma presents itself in the current generation. When studying psychology from the books and diagnostic manuals written exclusively by white men, trauma was narrowly defined as a life-threatening experience. By that definition, not many people fit the bill despite showing trauma-like symptoms such as disconnections from parts of their body, emotions and self-expression. However, as the field of psychology has expanded, more voices have been joining the conversations and expanding the definition of trauma based on their lived experience. "I have broadened the definition to say that any experience that makes us feel unsafe psychically or emotionally can be traumatic," stated Rein. By redefining trauma, people across the gender spectrum are able to find validation in their experiences and begin their journey to healing these traumas not just for ourselves, but for future generations.
While PSD is not experienced by one particular gender, as women who have been one of the most historically disadvantaged and oppressed groups, we have inherited survival instructions that express themselves differently for different women. For some women, this means their nervous systems freeze when faced with something that has been historically dangerous for women such as stepping into their power, speaking out, being visible or making a lot of money. Then there are women who go into fight or flight mode. Although they are able to stand in the spotlight, they pay a high price for it when their nervous system begins to work in a constant state of hyper vigilance in order to keep them safe. These women often find themselves having trouble with anxiety, intimacy, sleeping or relaxing without a glass of wine or a pill. Because of this, adrenaline fatigue has become an epidemic among high achieving women that is resulting in heightened levels of stress and anxiety.
"For the first time, it makes sense that we are not broken or making this up, and we have gained this understanding by looking through the lens of a shared trauma. All of these things have been either forbidden or impossible for women. A woman's power has always been a punishable offense throughout history," stated Rein.
Although the idea of having a disorder may be scary to some and even potentially contribute to a victim mentality, Rein wants people to be empowered by PSD and to see it as a diagnosis meant to validate your experience by giving it a name, making it real and giving you a means to heal yourself. "There are still experiences in our lives that are triggering PSD and the more layers we heal, the more power we claim, the more resilience we have and more ability we have in staying plugged into our power and happiness. These triggers affect us less and less the more we heal," emphasized Rein. While the task of breaking intergenerational transmission of trauma seems intimidating, the author has flipped the negative approach to the healing journey from a game of survival to the game of how good can it get.
In her new book, Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment, Rein details an easy system for healing that includes the necessary tools she has sourced over 20 years on her healing exploration with the pioneers of mind, body and trauma resolution. Her 5-step system serves to help "Jailbreakers" escape the inner prison of PSD and other hidden trauma through the process of Waking Up in Prison, Meeting the Prison Guards, Turning the Prison Guards into Body Guards, Digging the Tunnel to Freedom and Savoring Freedom. Readers can also find free tools on Rein's website to help aid in their healing journey and exploration.
"I think of the book coming out as the birth of a movement. Healing is not women against men– it's women, men and people across the gender spectrum, coming together in a shared understanding that we all have trauma and we can all heal."