#SWAAYthenarrative

I Was Told I Was Too Stylish To Be Taken Seriously

#SWAAYthenarrative

Heather Monahan, 43


Founder of Boss In Heels (and in recovery from corporate America)

Heather Monahan is a boss in every sense of the word. After spending the bulk of her career climbing the corporate ladder, the rockstar executive and single mother decided to abandon the proverbial hamster wheel and instead dedicate her life to helping women squash self doubt. Her initiative, rightfully dubbed #bossinheels, aims to destroy the male-oriented vision of what being a “boss” means. “Become your number one cheerleader instead of your biggest saboteur,” advises the blonde beauty. “It will change your life.”

1. What made you choose this career path? What has been your greatest achievement?

My entire life has led me to where I am today. Having struggled with my own insecurities early on and not having a strong female mentor led me to the decision to empower others and give them the insight I was always searching for. While working in corporate America and doing what I thought I was supposed to do, I stumbled upon what I was meant to do. It didn’t happen overnight it was more of an evolution over time. As I grew more confident in myself it became overwhelmingly clear what I needed to do; I needed to be the person that I needed when I was younger, I needed to shine my light so others could see. My greatest achievement is risking my comfort zone to be the person I am becoming and showing my son through my actions not just my words that everyone should live up to their potential and chase their dreams.

2. What’s the biggest criticism/stereotype/judgement you’ve faced in your career?

You can't dress feminine and be taken seriously.

3. How did you #SWAAYthenarrative? What was the reaction by those who told you you “couldn’t” do it?

My own self-doubt. To overcome self-doubt you must take action and develop your confidence muscle. Who you surround yourself with is everything – fire negative people in your life and watch you take off. How you see yourself is how others will see you – speak kindly to yourself, make yourself a priority, love yourself the same way you would a baby – this takes practice but it can become a habit.

Journal to see how far you have come and keep track of all of your small wins. Turn scarcity into abundance by writing down three things a day that you can be grateful for. Moving into your fear and realizing that you are okay will give you strength for your next challenge while backing away does the opposite. Speak up in meetings, speak up for yourself and speak your truth. Becoming your number one cheerleader instead of your biggest saboteur will change your life. Go for it!

4. What did you learn through your personal journey?

Early in my career I was taken aside by a very stoic and cold woman who told me that I dressed inappropriately for work and needed to wear pantsuits and more formal conservative attire. I have never been a very conservative pantsuit type of girl so this conversation didn’t go well.

Time and time again in my career I have been told to look a certain way or dress a certain way and with much difficulty, I did not listen. I was sexually harassed at my first job and was told that the way that I dressed invited these types of challenges.

Years later I remember being at a company meeting and sitting in on a roast where I was tagged the “VP of Cleavage” apparently this was a knock at the strapless dress I was wearing. I excused myself and cried in the bathroom for a few minutes before composing myself and returning to the meeting. The ironic thing is in the past year as I have launched my personal brand to empower others, I have heard so much positive feedback and appreciation for my sense of style. Believing in yourself and being yourself will always pay dividends in the end but isn’t always easy along the way. Be true to you.

5. What’s your number one piece of advice to women discouraged by preconceived notions and society’s limitations?

The only limitations that can be put on you are the ones that you put on yourself. Make a conscious choice to challenge the status quo. I learned that Oprah was fired from TV many years ago, only to become the media maven that she is today. Everyone will be told ‘no’ and why they are wrong or not good enough, and those are the moments you pivot and find a way to make it work in spite of the negativity. If success was easy everyone would have it. Let nothing stop you in chasing your dreams and nothing will.

3 min read
Lifestyle

Help! I’m Sick of Seasonal Weight Gain!

Email armchairpsychologist@swaaymedia.com to get the advice you need!

Help! I'm Sick of Seasonal Weight Gain!

Dear Armchair Psychologist,
How would you deal with the seasonal weight gain that most women experience? I've put on literally 5–7 lbs around my waist/butt/lower thighs and it's the bane of my existence. Getting dressed hasn't even been fun lately:( I know it's "normal," but how do I battle the psychology behind this?
- McFattie in Brooklyn

Dear McFattie in Brooklyn,

I'm sorry to hear that the winter blues is making your zipper hard to close. Personally, I roll with the rolls during the dark and frigid winter season, while chalking the glutton up to a basic survival mechanism. The feelings that accompany being out of shape and not wanting to dress cute (because your clothes don't fit well) can be both demoralizing and a blow to your self esteem. In this fantastic post, the author suggests great techniques that include keeping things in perspective and to "Ignore the panic," "Get curious" about your weight gain, and to keep it moving by "getting out of your room." Best of all is the advice to "Remember all things that are more important than this." If these head games don't serve you over time, and you still feel low, there may be deeper underlying reasons to your weight gain. In this case, I suggest you speak to a qualified therapist.

- The Armchair Psychologist

Need more armchair psychologist in your life? Check out the last installment or emailarmchairpsychologist@swaaymedia.com to get some advice of your own!