Career 13 December 2016
Anyone looking to be extraordinary in this changing world can no longer afford the tough, angry, brittle facade of fear-based leadership.
Remember the warrior-like gladiator movies, or the wall-street types who typically have personified the "get it done," "always be closing" no matter what leadership style?
The verdict is out: this antiquated model of leading human beings just doesn’t work anymore. That abrasive leadership style only gets you short-term gains - in the long term, it won’t actually motivate your teams or further your mission.
Avoiding brute force and taking the higher road isn't always the easiest route, but it will get you more traction, and get more out of your employees. Here, the three most important tenants that Next Generation leaders need to be effective...
Being the raw, real you. Leaders often emulate other leader’s styles. Unfortunately, that’s an old paradigm - and a losing formula. Next generation leadership has roots in how YOU are specifically unique, and for this it will require consistently showing up as yourself - with levels of transparency you’ve probably never hit before. Raw honesty is what the world desperately needs, and next generation leaders understand it’s the only way to lead.
The traditional model of "fear-based" leadership requires a fortress of walls built around the leader - but tension is the result that often ensues. Yet when you have and display concern for others, you build better, stronger human connections. Extraordinary icons of today are shifting towards this model in droves to create a sense of shared unity of empathy. A little more compassion goes a long way for the relationships you wish to build to create the impact you want to make in the world.
Things are shifting at a fast rate. Technology is moving, the workplace culture is evolving, there are so many updates that sometimes it's hard to keep up with.
Next Gen leaders need to embrace flexibility - and work on detaching from the results. Focus on your openness to growing different aspects of you to problem solve for yourself and your business leadership. It's hardly ever black and white, and you need to be flexible in leaning into the shades of gray that you may have once shunned or weren't open to prior.
This is the juiciness of you as a leader, opening up exponential possibilities when you change your perspective from a different lens.
These 3 MUST HAVEs are vital for you to thrive as a next generation leader - and if practiced consistently, will create profound, positive and long-lasting effects in your business and personal lives.
"A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way."
— John Maxwell
3 min read
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Help! My Friend Is a No Show
Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I have a friend who doesn't reply to my messages about meeting for dinner, etc. Although, last week I ran into her at a local restaurant of mine, it has always been awkward to be friends with her. Should I continue our friendship or discontinue it? We've been friends for a total four years and nothing has changed. I don't feel as comfortable with her as my other close friends, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reach that comfort zone in pure friendship.
Dear Sadsies,I am sorry to hear you've been neglected by your friend. You may already have the answer to your question, since you're evaluating the non-existing bond between yourself and your friend. However, I'll gladly affirm to you that a friendship that isn't reciprocated is not a good friendship.
I have had a similar situation with a friend whom I'd grown up with but who was also consistently a very negative person, a true Debby Downer. One day, I just had enough of her criticism and vitriol. I stopped making excuses for her and dumped her. It was a great decision and I haven't looked back. With that in mind, it could be possible that something has changed in your friend's life, but it's insignificant if she isn't responding to you. It's time to dump her and spend your energy where it's appreciated. Don't dwell on this friend. History is not enough to create a lasting bond, it only means just that—you and your friend have history—so let her be history!
- The Armchair Psychologist