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This Real Housewife Wants to Start a "V Spot" Sexual Revolution

People

Cindy Barshop is no stranger to controversy.


Having begun the infamous vajazzle trend that rocked the world of nether region self care back at the turn of the millennium, she then went on to create a stir on her season of Real Housewives Of New York. She’s a seasoned professional in the business of public surprise and glamour. And her new venture is perhaps the most controversial of all.

“I’ve always been one of those women that brings up topics people are kind of afraid to take about.”

-Cindy Barshop

Way back in 2000, Barshop was the pioneer of waxing studios in New York, with her line of spas, Completely Bare. It was becoming cool to be completely bare down there, and Barshop was a woman happy to talk about the situation downstairs openly. Nothing was taboo.

She decided to make an appearance on RHONY because she was about to launch a product line and of course, it would prove to be the best form of publicity.

Having endured tremendous success with the spas, she eventually sold them off, admittedly naive about how long she could last off the back of the sale. “I’m good at promoting and getting the word out there - not that good on the finances.”

Barshop would inevitably have to go back to the drawing board, as, at this stage she was now a mother of two, having given birth to twin girls Jesse and Zoe back in 2009.

“I was lucky enough to find out about this great technology in Europe from the laser companies of my previous life," she says. Barshop then began to look through different methodologies and research and discovered that technologies and groundbreaking advances for women's sexual health were sorely lacking in the U.S, and the statistics that compounded this horror would lead to more questions about why the technology has not arrived yet. Barshop says she was awed by the amount of women who endure vaginal loosening after they give birth; can’t orgasm; or have incontinence. Three out of four women suffer from incontinence throughout their life. And nobody was addressing these issues in the U.S. There was only one treatment, in Europe, coming shyly out of the woodwork.

“There are so many young women out there that don’t have orgasms, or can’t orgasm - it’s part of their life. If this was a man, you would be able to get this treatment out of an ATM Machine!”

-Cindy Barshop

For her, it’s the lack of communication and speaking up that has restricted the women of the U.S from getting such treatment. The subject is taboo. “This year however,” she says confidently, “ I believe will be the year of the V Spot sexual revolution.”

When the treatment eventually got to the U.S, Barshop was straight over to try it out. She got what was called the FemiLift. “And that was the beginning of the whole thing,” she recalls.

Having initially availed of the treatment to address incontinence, she realized quickly that she was experiencing a period of low libido, and the treatment would ultimately serve this issue as well.

“I had a very low libido, but thought I was just a busy mom with twin girls - five at the time,” she says. Once the treatment was finished, this was a different story. “Oh. I’m alive down there,” she thought. Barshop would begin dating again after her FemiLift.

Thus came the concept and creation of Barshop's "vaginal rejuvenation spa," VSPOT. She would bring together a team of professionals - all women of course, to use these new technologies and treatments and tackle the problems associated with women's sexual health actively and openly.

Barshop is, of course, aware that a lot people won't welcome such subjects with open arms, but is nonetheless defiant in her approach. “Women in their minds, with this, will automatically go to the negative,” she warns - continuing, “but I’m not sitting here trying to make anyone a porn star.” While I might have felt the tiniest bit queasy as she explained the o-shot to me, I was still able to recognize its empowering abilities. This treatment involves a removal of blood from your arm, and the plasmas from that blood injected right into a numbed clitoris. The after effects of which are heightened clitoral sensitivity and a more intense orgasm.

The spa however is not just about techie treatments: “when I started I was just going with these groundbreaking treatments that were addressing sexual health, then realized that there are women who want relaxation treatments and de-toxifying treatments,” she comments. These include a 24karat gold wax and LED vajacial, which fights ingrown hairs or post-wax redness, and a V-steam, which detoxes, soothes (and has the ability to increase libido).

So who, we asked, are the women that are coming? While a lot of her clients are women who have just given birth, or women going through menopause, according to Barshop, a surprising number of young women make up her customer base because they are unable to orgasm.

“The women who are talking about sex - they’re strong powerful women,” says Barshop. They conform to a certain type - women who generally have their act together. They care about their bodies, their businesses, their well-beings and their sexual health. It’s the people who are in the know that are becoming Barshop’s most lucrative customer, and from where she will build her customer base.

Powerful women have powerful friends.

It's something we’ve been learning for months here at SWAAY and through all of our entrepreneurial success stories. And it’s what Barshop is using to grow her business from the ground. These aren’t services that will be streamlined as fast as her last salons were, and they won’t duplicate with as much ease - in particular because of the specialty nature of the treatments and the doctors required to execute them.

The important thing to remember is that Barshop’s treatments at the spa are non-surgical. They may be completed by a doctor using medical technologies, but you won’t be going under anesthesia or have a hospital bill for this. This is you, taking care of your nether regions in the most groundbreaking way possible - and feeling fabulous doing it. The spa and the surrounding area are beautiful and Barshop is the queen mother of vagina spas, waiting to care of something you’ve felt afraid of, or neglected for who knows how long.

She’s ready for you - so the only questions remains is - are you ready for your va-juvenation?

3 Min Read
Lifestyle

Tempted To Dial Your Ex: 5 Ways To Know Whether Or Not You Should Contact An Old Flame

Thinking of ringing up your ex during these uncertain times? Maybe you want an excuse to contact your ex, or maybe you genuinely feel the need to connect with someone on an emotional level. As a matchmaker and relationship expert, I was surprised at the start of the coronavirus quarantine when friends were telling me that they were contacting their exes! But as social distancing has grown to be more than a short-term situation, we must avoid seeking short-term solutions—and resist the urge to dial an ex.

It stands to reason that you would contact an ex for support. After all, who knows you and your fears better than an ex? This all translates into someone who you think can provide comfort and support. As a matchmaker, I already know that people can spark and ignite relationships virtually that can lead to offline love, but lonely singles didn't necessarily believe this or understand this initially, which drives them straight back to a familiar ex. You only need to tune into Love Is Blind to test this theory or look to Dina Lohan and her virtual boyfriend.

At the start of lockdown, singles were already feeling lonely. There were studies that said as much as 3 out of 4 people were lonely, and that was before lockdown. Singles were worried that dating someone was going to be off limits for a very long time. Now when you factor in a widespread pandemic and the psychological impact that hits when you have to be in isolation and can't see anyone but your takeout delivery person, we end up understanding this urge to contact an ex.

So, what should you do if you are tempted to ring up an old flame? How do you know if it's the wrong thing or the right thing to do in a time like this? Check out a few of my points before deciding on picking up that phone to text, much less call an ex.

Before You Dial The Ex...

First, you need to phone a friend! It's the person that got you through this breakup to begin with. Let them remind you of the good, the bad and the ugly before taking this first step and risk getting sucked back in.

What was the reason for your breakup? As I mentioned before, you could get sucked back in… but that might not be a bad thing. It depends; when you phoned that friend to remind you, did she remind you of good or bad things during the breakup? It's possible that you both just had to take jobs in different cities, and the breakup wasn't due to a problem in the relationship. Have these problems resolved if there were issues?

You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you.

Depending on the reason for the breakup, set your boundaries for how much contact beforehand. If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.

If you know you shouldn't be contacting this ex but feel lonely, set up a support system ahead of time. Set up activities or things to fall back on to resist the urge. Maybe you phone a different friend, join a virtual happy hour for singles, or binge watch Netflix. Anything else is acceptable, but don't phone that ex.

Write down your reasons for wanting to contact the ex. Ask yourself if this is worth the pain. Are you flea-bagging again, or is there a friendship to be had, which will provide you with genuine comfort? If it's the latter, it's okay to go there. If it's an excuse to go back together and make contact, don't.

Decide how far you are willing to take the relationship this time, without it being a rinse and repeat. If you broke up for reasons beyond your control, it's okay. If your ex was a serial cheater, phone a friend instead.

If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.

As life returns to a more normal state and you adjust to the new normal, we will slowly begin to notice more balance in our lives. You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you. Some do's and don'ts for this time would be:

  • Do: exercise ⁠— taking care of you is important during this time. It's self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
  • Do: shower, brush your teeth, and get out of your sweats.
  • Don't: be a couch potato.
  • Don't: drink or eat excessively during this time. Again, remember to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
  • Do: think positive thoughts everyday and write down the 3 things you are grateful for. Look at the impact of John Krasinksi's SGN. It's uplifting and when you feel good, you won't want to slide backwards.
  • Don't: contact a toxic ex. It's a backward move in a moment of uncertainty that could have a long term impact. Why continue flea bagging yourself?