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Have you been dating casually for some time now? Maybe, it is the best time to move this relationship to another level. But wait! Probably, it is not yet time. So, how do you know if all is ready? There are signs and factors to consider before taking this sensitive step. In many cases, this entirely depends on the people involved and how they view such things in life. For now, let us dive into these insights.
Be Sure That This Is What You Want
Before making the step from casual dating to a relationship, you need to understand whether this is what you really want in life. Many people have jumped to the other side, only to realize that they are not ready for commitments. The good thing is that your heart will always let you know whether you are ready or not. So, you must listen to it carefully.
Have You Set Relationship Goals?
Moving casual dating to the next level is not as simple as many people think. It requires preparation. The first thing to do is set the relationship goals and expectations. To make it even simpler, categorize them into short- and long-term goals. As a starting point, it will help to know whether both of you are ready for the next step or not. Most people will move forward once they have established the goals that they would like to fulfill.
Understand the Weight of a Relationship
Unlike casual dating, serious relationships come with a plethora of needs and commitments. There will also be some rules to guide both of you and ensure that you are both happy. Unless people understand what all this means, they are not ready to move to the next step. According to the experts, this is the time to talk to friends and relatives who are already in relationships. Better still, an expert will offer some helpful guidance.
What Does Your Partner Think About It?
After engaging in a casual relationship for some time now, you can tell whether it is a good thing or not. You can see here about casual dating rules and commitments might be great so far, but you have a desire to move into something serious. But does your partner have the same desire as you? Instead of asking directly, you can start by being aware of how she or he views you. Pay attention to every meeting that both of you have and even show commitment to the casual relationship.
It is also at this point that you must look at the red flags that will lead to problems when things are escalated to the next level. Having doubt is a good thing because it helps you to see the whole picture clearly. Otherwise, we are all aware that our own relationship desires can make us overlook some important things.
Are There Feelings Involved?
Casual dating, according to many people, hardly involves any feelings between the two parties. It is a form of agreement that both parties will make each other happy. But in many cases, feelings of love may develop. If your relationship has moved in this direction, you might be lucky because this means that you can move from casual dating to a relationship. The feelings have to come from both partners for it to work. Feelings of love are strong, and people can hardly resist them when they are formed. Today, either party can break the ice and propose to move to the next level.
Do You Have the Resources?
A relationship has expectations that must be fulfilled. For this to happen, resources are required. The main ones include time and money. If you are too engaged in other things like a career, education or family, then you are not ready to take casual dating to the next level. On the other hand, you need money to contribute to bills when you go out, buy your partner gifts and even surprise her or him with a holiday. As we all know, lives move because there is money to buy goods and services. So, if these two resources are available, then you can consider yourself ready.
Test the Waters
Even after looking at all factors and ascertaining that it is the right time to move from casual dating to a relationship, it is not wise to jump into it immediately. Test the waters to learn whether it will really work or not. Start acting as if you are already in a relationship but be cautious not to blow things out of proportion. If there is a positive response, then you can pop the big question.
Moving from casual dating to a relationship is a big step in the lives of many people. And making a mistake in this can be costly. Therefore, everyone should be very careful when making this move.
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Help! I'm Sick of Seasonal Weight Gain!
Dear Armchair Psychologist,
How would you deal with the seasonal weight gain that most women experience? I've put on literally 5–7 lbs around my waist/butt/lower thighs and it's the bane of my existence. Getting dressed hasn't even been fun lately:( I know it's "normal," but how do I battle the psychology behind this?
- McFattie in Brooklyn
Dear McFattie in Brooklyn,I'm sorry to hear that the winter blues is making your zipper hard to close. Personally, I roll with the rolls during the dark and frigid winter season, while chalking the glutton up to a basic survival mechanism. The feelings that accompany being out of shape and not wanting to dress cute (because your clothes don't fit well) can be both demoralizing and a blow to your self esteem. In this fantastic post, the author suggests great techniques that include keeping things in perspective and to "Ignore the panic," "Get curious" about your weight gain, and to keep it moving by "getting out of your room." Best of all is the advice to "Remember all things that are more important than this." If these head games don't serve you over time, and you still feel low, there may be deeper underlying reasons to your weight gain. In this case, I suggest you speak to a qualified therapist.
- The Armchair Psychologist