#SWAAYthenarrative

Taking The Reins: This Polo Player Proves There's A Market For Co-Ed Sports

People

It’s no secret that being a woman in sports feels like an inherent disadvantage. Surrounded by stereotypes that men are stronger and faster, women have to do more in order to break through those stereotypes and shine in any sport they play.


When it comes to my sport, polo, I get to face those issues head-on and shatter them. Polo is one of the few sports where men and women are on the field together. Each gender is held to the same standards when playing and discrepancies in gender ability are not a factor.

"Confidence in yourself is the number one key to success. Once you can achieve self-confidence, anything is possible"

Fortunately for me, riding horses has been a passion of mine since I was five years old. Getting the chance to combine that with my naturally competitive spirit is a blessing.

But, as happy as playing makes me and as incredible as it is that gender barriers are not as prominent in polo, being a representative for women’s equality in athletics is a responsibility I do not take lightly.

"I strive to make a difference in everything I do, that is just the nature of my competitive attitude."

During matches, I make sure I realize the significance of what it means to be on the same field as men playing in the same game. Many women do not have that opportunity in their sports. The fact that it is considered a privilege in my game is a facet of society that needs to change. Athletics do not need to be segregated.

I strive to make a difference in everything I do, that is just the nature of my competitive attitude. One of my main focuses is working harder and ensuring I am always at the top of my game to prove my skills.

That would be my best advice for other women in sports. More times than not, the wind is going to be blowing in your face, pushing you away from your goal. But, if you go out there with the thoughts, “I can do it” and “I am better”, then you’ll be able to leap over any obstacles that stand in your way. Confidence in yourself is the number one key to success. Once you can achieve self-confidence, anything is possible. A quote that has always stuck with me is, “Those who say they can, and those who say they can’t, are both usually right”. Believe in yourself, and never let anything hold you back!

I hope that women continue to make tremendous strides in achieving their dreams!

3 Min Read
Lifestyle

Tempted To Dial Your Ex: 5 Ways To Know Whether Or Not You Should Contact An Old Flame

Thinking of ringing up your ex during these uncertain times? Maybe you want an excuse to contact your ex, or maybe you genuinely feel the need to connect with someone on an emotional level. As a matchmaker and relationship expert, I was surprised at the start of the coronavirus quarantine when friends were telling me that they were contacting their exes! But as social distancing has grown to be more than a short-term situation, we must avoid seeking short-term solutions—and resist the urge to dial an ex.

It stands to reason that you would contact an ex for support. After all, who knows you and your fears better than an ex? This all translates into someone who you think can provide comfort and support. As a matchmaker, I already know that people can spark and ignite relationships virtually that can lead to offline love, but lonely singles didn't necessarily believe this or understand this initially, which drives them straight back to a familiar ex. You only need to tune into Love Is Blind to test this theory or look to Dina Lohan and her virtual boyfriend.

At the start of lockdown, singles were already feeling lonely. There were studies that said as much as 3 out of 4 people were lonely, and that was before lockdown. Singles were worried that dating someone was going to be off limits for a very long time. Now when you factor in a widespread pandemic and the psychological impact that hits when you have to be in isolation and can't see anyone but your takeout delivery person, we end up understanding this urge to contact an ex.

So, what should you do if you are tempted to ring up an old flame? How do you know if it's the wrong thing or the right thing to do in a time like this? Check out a few of my points before deciding on picking up that phone to text, much less call an ex.

Before You Dial The Ex...

First, you need to phone a friend! It's the person that got you through this breakup to begin with. Let them remind you of the good, the bad and the ugly before taking this first step and risk getting sucked back in.

What was the reason for your breakup? As I mentioned before, you could get sucked back in… but that might not be a bad thing. It depends; when you phoned that friend to remind you, did she remind you of good or bad things during the breakup? It's possible that you both just had to take jobs in different cities, and the breakup wasn't due to a problem in the relationship. Have these problems resolved if there were issues?

You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you.

Depending on the reason for the breakup, set your boundaries for how much contact beforehand. If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.

If you know you shouldn't be contacting this ex but feel lonely, set up a support system ahead of time. Set up activities or things to fall back on to resist the urge. Maybe you phone a different friend, join a virtual happy hour for singles, or binge watch Netflix. Anything else is acceptable, but don't phone that ex.

Write down your reasons for wanting to contact the ex. Ask yourself if this is worth the pain. Are you flea-bagging again, or is there a friendship to be had, which will provide you with genuine comfort? If it's the latter, it's okay to go there. If it's an excuse to go back together and make contact, don't.

Decide how far you are willing to take the relationship this time, without it being a rinse and repeat. If you broke up for reasons beyond your control, it's okay. If your ex was a serial cheater, phone a friend instead.

If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.

As life returns to a more normal state and you adjust to the new normal, we will slowly begin to notice more balance in our lives. You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you. Some do's and don'ts for this time would be:

  • Do: exercise ⁠— taking care of you is important during this time. It's self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
  • Do: shower, brush your teeth, and get out of your sweats.
  • Don't: be a couch potato.
  • Don't: drink or eat excessively during this time. Again, remember to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
  • Do: think positive thoughts everyday and write down the 3 things you are grateful for. Look at the impact of John Krasinksi's SGN. It's uplifting and when you feel good, you won't want to slide backwards.
  • Don't: contact a toxic ex. It's a backward move in a moment of uncertainty that could have a long term impact. Why continue flea bagging yourself?