Career 10 April 2017
Social media is something that some of us have had longer than we've had a 401k. It's followed us through different periods of our life, from our mismatched college days, to our post-grad blues, even through job number one, and potentially job number two. While perhaps you have started to forget about some of those posts you made long ago, when you were certain only your close friends could see them, you might need to dig them up and decide whether or not you should get rid of them before they come back to haunt you in the future.
Wondering how your old social media profiles and posts can resurface, just like that ex-boyfriend you thought you'd never hear from again? Here are five ways they can get in the way of you and your career.
1. Potential Employers
The days of potential employers calling you in for an interview based on what they read on your resume and cover letter are over. Now, employers take to the internet to find out what you're up to and what you have been up to in the past. With just a few clicks and twenty minutes or so, HR departments can see all the way back to photos you once posted inside your Freshman dorm, a decade or more years ago, or photos of you drinking way too much, way too often, way too regularly.
Regardless if you remember taking them, there may be images of you posted from college friends with public profiles that are still linked to yours. A clean sweep means checking your own past albums as well as all the images you may be tagged in by others.
2. People You Network With
The same things goes with people you're interested in networking with. Perhaps you find someone you'd like to have as your career mentor or you are looking to create relationships with potential investors, they too may be hesitant to sit down with you based on social media posts. Or, you may notice that midway through your meeting with them, they bring up something you posted at 4 AM, one night, as a joke, that is not coming back to haunt you. Trust us, one of the first things potential colleagues do with your business card is to Google your name.
3. As Blackmail
We've read the headlines again and again of people losing jobs because of something they Tweeted years ago. Whatever you have posted on social media, even if it was just supposed to be something to make your friends laugh, can be something someone else screenshots and sends around your company or hands over to a news reporter - if they are trying to bring you down.
4. Past Opinions Represent the Present
A lot of people write, "The opinions expressed here do not represent my company or organization" on their Twitter profile. Another reason why you should go through your old social media profiles, regardless if you are still active on them or not, is because you don't want past opinions getting in the way of whether or not a company is eager to hire you to represent them in the future. Add the disclaimer just to be safe.
5. They May Be Out of Date
Your personal brand is your selling point to help you step up your career game. Making sure what it put out there on the internet, from you, accurately represents you, is something very important. You want to keep your personal brand message consistent, making sure that when people stalk you via social media, what you portray is truly what you are. A good way to make sure your personal brand is up to date is to compare your LinkedIn profile with your resume, and ensure that your most recent title can be seen across your active social media profiles.
3 Min Read
Thinking of ringing up your ex during these uncertain times? Maybe you want an excuse to contact your ex, or maybe you genuinely feel the need to connect with someone on an emotional level. As a matchmaker and relationship expert, I was surprised at the start of the coronavirus quarantine when friends were telling me that they were contacting their exes! But as social distancing has grown to be more than a short-term situation, we must avoid seeking short-term solutions—and resist the urge to dial an ex.
It stands to reason that you would contact an ex for support. After all, who knows you and your fears better than an ex? This all translates into someone who you think can provide comfort and support. As a matchmaker, I already know that people can spark and ignite relationships virtually that can lead to offline love, but lonely singles didn't necessarily believe this or understand this initially, which drives them straight back to a familiar ex. You only need to tune into Love Is Blind to test this theory or look to Dina Lohan and her virtual boyfriend.
At the start of lockdown, singles were already feeling lonely. There were studies that said as much as 3 out of 4 people were lonely, and that was before lockdown. Singles were worried that dating someone was going to be off limits for a very long time. Now when you factor in a widespread pandemic and the psychological impact that hits when you have to be in isolation and can't see anyone but your takeout delivery person, we end up understanding this urge to contact an ex.
So, what should you do if you are tempted to ring up an old flame? How do you know if it's the wrong thing or the right thing to do in a time like this? Check out a few of my points before deciding on picking up that phone to text, much less call an ex.
Before You Dial The Ex...
First, you need to phone a friend! It's the person that got you through this breakup to begin with. Let them remind you of the good, the bad and the ugly before taking this first step and risk getting sucked back in.
What was the reason for your breakup? As I mentioned before, you could get sucked back in… but that might not be a bad thing. It depends; when you phoned that friend to remind you, did she remind you of good or bad things during the breakup? It's possible that you both just had to take jobs in different cities, and the breakup wasn't due to a problem in the relationship. Have these problems resolved if there were issues?
You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you.
Depending on the reason for the breakup, set your boundaries for how much contact beforehand. If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.
If you know you shouldn't be contacting this ex but feel lonely, set up a support system ahead of time. Set up activities or things to fall back on to resist the urge. Maybe you phone a different friend, join a virtual happy hour for singles, or binge watch Netflix. Anything else is acceptable, but don't phone that ex.
Write down your reasons for wanting to contact the ex. Ask yourself if this is worth the pain. Are you flea-bagging again, or is there a friendship to be had, which will provide you with genuine comfort? If it's the latter, it's okay to go there. If it's an excuse to go back together and make contact, don't.
Decide how far you are willing to take the relationship this time, without it being a rinse and repeat. If you broke up for reasons beyond your control, it's okay. If your ex was a serial cheater, phone a friend instead.
If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.
As life returns to a more normal state and you adjust to the new normal, we will slowly begin to notice more balance in our lives. You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you. Some do's and don'ts for this time would be:
- Do: exercise — taking care of you is important during this time. It's self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
- Do: shower, brush your teeth, and get out of your sweats.
- Don't: be a couch potato.
- Don't: drink or eat excessively during this time. Again, remember to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
- Do: think positive thoughts everyday and write down the 3 things you are grateful for. Look at the impact of John Krasinksi's SGN. It's uplifting and when you feel good, you won't want to slide backwards.
- Don't: contact a toxic ex. It's a backward move in a moment of uncertainty that could have a long term impact. Why continue flea bagging yourself?