#SWAAYthenarrative
BETA

Paternity Leave And Dads' Evolving Role In Newborn Care

Culture

Ever since Ivanka Trump made it her focal point on the campaign trail, parental leave has been a major topic of conversation in the United States – as it should be. Swaay recently reported that the United States is one of only three countries in the world that doesn't mandate paid maternity leave. Two developing countries – Papua New Guinea and Swaziland are the others.


The case for paid maternity leave in the U.S. is incredibly important – especially since our economic success goes hand in hand with the well-being of moms and babies. But dads who are able to take time off can play an important role in the early days of childcare, as well, making parental leave as a whole - including paternity leave - just as important.

What you need to know about U.S. paternity leave rules

Many people don't know that the federal laws governing maternity leave, are in fact the same as those for paternity leave. Dads (and moms) may qualify for unpaid leave under the Family Medical Leave Act. Here's what you need to know about it.

Businesses with 50 or more employees are required to offer 12 weeks of job-guaranteed leave for family or medical needs – that includes the birth of a child. Unfortunately, under the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA), this leave is unpaid, so many Americans can't afford to take advantage of it.

The Family Medical Leave Act is the only federal-level regulation for parental leave in the United States. And it only applies to a select group of Americans. You likely qualify for FMLA benefits if:

- You work for a company that has 50 or more employees,

- You've worked for this company for at least one year; and,

- You've worked at least 1,250 hours.

There is no federally-mandated paid parental leave policy. Only three states – California, New Jersey and Rhode Island – offer paid family and medical leave. New York will join this list in January 2018 after passing its Paid Family Leave Benefits Law. These programs are funded through payroll taxes and administered through disability programs. California was the first state to enact paid leave in 2004, and reported that in the first ten years of the program, approximately 90 percent of claims were related to the birth of a child, proving that Americans truly want and need paid parental leave programs.

So if your partner meets the above requirements, but you, the mother of the child, do not, you may not be able to take time off after having a baby due to financial or work obligations.

Making the most of paternity leave

We might automatically think of moms and maternity leave when considering time off after having a baby, but every family situation is different. Today, we see more stay-at-home dads than ever before, and more dads who want to take an active role in childcare after birth. At Aeroflow, we've noticed an evolution of what's considered a “traditional American family" and who provides care for a newborn. When mom and dad can both take time off to care for a new baby, that's excellent; but, there's also the possibility that mom can't take any time off – but dad can.

Here are some best practices and tips for how dad can play a role at home following the birth of a child.

Get Mom a Breast Pump

Many moms choose to breastfeed their newborns, which has significant health benefits for both the mother and the child. But it can also be an exhausting process – especially when moms have just begun to figure out what works for them, their nursing schedule, what pump to choose and much more.

Even before the new member of the family arrives, dads can support their partners by helping them learn about breast pumps by doing research and acting as a helpful sounding board for questions. Some companies, like Aeroflow Healthcare, work with families to provide breast pumps through insurance.

Feeding

Once mom and baby have established a breastfeeding routine, you may introduce pumping and bottle feeding if dad would like to assist in the feeding routine. Studies show that babies can experience difficulty going back and forth between bottle and breast, especially in the early weeks, so bear that in mind if your baby seems less than enthused to take a bottle. Plastic bottle nipples are very different from what the baby is used to so experiment with different shapes until you find one that works.

Once the bottle feeding with breast milk has been successful a couple times, breastfeeding moms can pump milk and store it for dads to feed the baby. Here's a cheat sheet for how long breast milk remains fresh and safe to consume when stored at room temperature, in the fridge and in the freezer. We recommend printing this information and hanging it on your refrigerator.

For families who've chosen to use formula, dads can easily bottle feed the baby using their formula of choice, as well.

Skin-to-Skin Contact

This is something both mom and dad can experience with their baby. Skin-to-skin contact helps promote bonding and is a great relationship builder. Try cuddling, bathing, reading or just relaxing in a chair while your baby naps on your chest! This allows dad to bond with the baby in a physically similar way as a mom, while breastfeeding.

Education

No matter how many new baby books you read before the birth, or how many kids you've had, when you have a newborn, questions are inevitable. We often ask these questions aloud, but never get a chance to research the answers because, understandably, with a newborn, something else inevitably comes up. Dads can research these questions and get answers that are helpful for both of you, helping you both become more informed about your child and his or her needs.

Working as a Team

Working together as a team and effective communication goes a long way when caring for a newborn/infant. For example, tackling errands like running to the grocery store with an infant can be challenging, but help while shopping can make all the difference. When I had my son, Jacob, my husband and I handled our weekly – and sometimes last-minute – runs to the store together. It was a great way to spend time as a family.

Proactive Parenting

A great way for new fathers to jump into the duties of fatherhood is to take on a proactive parenting role. Start by communicating with your partner and prioritize your daily routine and which parts each of you want to champion. At that point, you can share ideas and create a plan that works for the whole family. From cleaning bottles and breast pump parts to supporting the breastfeeding or pumping routine, open communication makes this process easier for the entire family.

Wake Up and Stay Up

Middle of the night breastfeeding can be lonely for mom. Dads can get involved by becoming part of the routine by helping mom prepare for the feeding. My husband Jeremy helped out by changing the baby's diaper while I got prepared to breastfeed or pump. Then, dads can stay up with mom to make sure she's all settled in before they go back to sleep again. If you have stored breastmilk, dads can handle the middle of the night feeding entirely, using a bottle to feed the baby.

Shared Stress

This is perhaps the most important item of all. New moms are dealing with physical recovery from birth and the demands of a newborn. It's okay to share the responsibilities with your partner - you are in fact a team. Allow your partner take on some of the childcare responsibilities. It goes a long way in not just helping you manage the challenges of a newborn, but also encourages a positive setting and environment for the baby.

While these tips are perfect for families who have dads at homes and moms at work, they also apply to any father who wants to take on a larger role with newborn childcare. It's exciting to see so many fathers taking an active role in caring for their newborns. As gender roles become less defined, dads will only want to be more involved with their children, and as this happens, fathers' involvement in caring for a new baby will only become more expected.

Disclaimer: Aeroflow Healthcare believes in the importance of parental leave as a whole; however, this story was written for Swaay.com as an educational piece focused on paternity leave and tips for dads involved in newborn care. We recommend consulting with your physician or medical provider for any health-specific questions.

People

How This Twice Bankrupt Founder Built Herself Up To A $240M Net Worth

Nobody knows what it's like to be sh*t out of luck like Suzy Batiz. Maybe that's why her million-dollar idea was a spray to stop your sh*t from stinking.

Yes, this woman is on a mission to keep your bathroom dos (and don'ts) on the DL, and she is doing it all with a hefty dose of personal philosophy and spirituality. It's hard to pick just one place to start with a maverick like Batiz. Though, maverick doesn't quite do her justice.

We could talk about her early life, growing up poor in Arkansas with two parents struggling with addiction and mental health problems. Or we could discuss her two bankruptcies and a lifelong history of failed hustles and side-hustles. Then there's her personal life; she's been divorced twice, has three kids, and is a survivor of abuse. You could say she's been through some sh*t. (Okay, the poop jokes end here, I swear.) If this all sounds too crazy to believe already then you better stop reading now because it gets wilder. This woman is all that and then some.

But, there's no time like the present, so I guess we'll start there.

Suzy Batiz is one of the richest self-made women in America with a net worth of $240 million. She's currently working on uplifting other business owners and creative-thinkers with her personal and professional philosophy of "alive ideas" as well as running her own companies, Supernatural, a 100% natural cleaning product company, and Poo~Pourri, the famous odor-eliminating toilet spray line that started it all with a bang (or a plop). (Okay, now the poop jokes are really done.)

Poo-Pourri's first commercial, which has now garnered almost 50 million views since its release in 2013, absolutely blew away viewers with its hilariously crass yet poetic verbiage surrounding this lovely woman's "cavernous bowels." Even I remember first seeing it almost seven years ago. Though I wasn't even sure if it was a real product at first. I was so busy laughing that I almost missed the line: "Yes, it is a real product. And yes, it really works." No one but Batiz could have thought up an idea so new, so wild, and at the same time so deeply necessary for people everywhere. It seems that poop is the market's natural equalizer.

(Seriously though, how good is this commercial?)

She's reached some of the highest peaks of success when it comes to consumer goods, but Batiz's newest venture asks people to turn inward and evaluate their thoughts and personal processes to support a culture of deeply conscious creation. Alive Ideas represents all of the lessons in both entrepreneurship and spirituality that Batiz has learned firsthand. Because, for her, the entrepreneurial and the spiritual are often one and the same. In her own words:

"Your external reality is just a reflection of your internal reality, so you have to do your personal work to shift from the inside out."

She takes this marriage of philosophies very seriously and infuses it into every level of her business, offering her employees training in transcendental meditation (a non-negotiable daily activity for Batiz) and Headspace app subscriptions. Batiz knows that good work has to start from the inside out, and that's why she's so keen to share this philosophy with the world and help other people realize that, too. That's what this new enterprise is all about.

Alive ideas are those twinges of inspiration that you can feel in every inch of your being — the ones that are just bursting to take shape in the world. Take Poo-Pourri as a perfect example, it was something that no one could have expected. A product that needed to exist, but a need that had never before been conceptualized (let alone actualized) by anybody. Until Batiz, that is.

Suzy Batiz

She's always been a "natural creator," so it's only natural that her current state of being revolves around bringing to life new ideas and products. But even that could only have come about through what she describes as the "luxury of losing everything."

It took 38 years and a lifetime of both personal and professional hardships before Batiz was ready to call it quits. After all the hustles, there was just no hustle left in her.

So she took a four-year spiritual sabbatical, during which she realized that she'd spent her entire life thus far "selling out" and "making deals" for all the wrong reasons. "Basically, I'd lost it all and didn't even have a good time doing it!" That was what really set her off. "It was only when I changed my mindset to only follow ideas that lit me up that the real success started flowing." There's those alive idea's she's talking about!

Suzy Batiz is the antithesis of your stereotypical entrepreneur. She wears flowing skirts, makes poop jokes, and has the vibe of a fun-loving guru. She basically spent her entire life trying (and failing) to find success through financial means, only to lose everything and then some. It took hitting rock bottom to realize that she needed to start fresh. It was only once she'd chucked all of the typical toxic motivators out the window that her real genius could shine through all the bullsh*t.

Full Interview Transcript

1. How would you describe your climb from growing up, to bankruptcy, to millionaire? And how does it feel to have come so far?

I grew up in Arkansas very poor, with a mother that was depressed on pain pills and a father that was a bipolar alcoholic. From an early age, I had the impression that money was my way out. If I could just make money, I would be somebody and I would mean something in the world.

By the time I was 22, I'd already been married, bankrupt (for the first time), divorced and attempted suicide. Shortly after that, I met and married a wealthy man who turned out to be abusive. I clawed my way out of that terrible situation to find myself divorced again and homeless with two boys under the age of 2. I continued to work multiple jobs and soon met my ex-husband of 26 years. He was a drummer who didn't have much to offer aside from his love at the time, which sounded like a dream after the last situation I was in. I constantly hustled and side hustled, but all my business ventures typically ended in failure. At 38 years old, I lost funding for a dot com recruiting platform that I'd invested our life savings into, leading to my second bankruptcy and what I call "the luxury of losing everything".

I vowed to leave business behind entirely and went on a four-year spiritual sabbatical. I looked back and realized that I'd spent my whole life husting, selling out and making deals that felt wrong in order to get something I thought I wanted. Basically, I'd lost it all and didn't even have a good time doing it! This is when everything changed for me. It was only when I changed my mindset to only follow ideas that lit me up that the real success started flowing. I was no longer living for external validation, but rather from the inside out. Ironically, it was once I'd sworn off business and chasing money that my success and wealth came.

2. You seem to be innately entrepreneurial person, was there any moment or experience in your life that made you really think: "This is what I have to do."

I've always been a natural creator. Growing up we had very little, so if I wanted a new outfit for my Barbie, I'd sew it myself. I've always had that spirit in me — but at one point I actually believed I was the worst entrepreneur in the world. I had more than a dozen failed businesses and two bankruptcies by the time I was 38, so I swore off business altogether. It wasn't until I realized chasing money and success wasn't making me happy and I did my internal work that Poo~Pourri was born.

A few years later, a friend of mine was interviewing and asked how I knew which ideas to follow — how could I tell which ones would turn out to be successful? The question piqued my interest. I realized it had nothing to do with the analytical or rational reasons a business should succeed. Rather, I remembered the feeling in my body when I first got the idea for Poo~Pourri. I felt a zing up my left arm, I got chill bumps, it felt like everything went into hi-def and I had so much energy to research and create because the idea wouldn't leave me alone. My curiosity continued and I had a conversation with Dr. Bruce Lipton to ask him a burning question: Can ideas be alive? His answer, in short, was: absolutely! He said that everything, including thoughts and ideas, has energy, and "every living thing is seeking more life-force energy." This was my aha moment. When I focused on ideas that gave me energy, that felt ALIVE, they turned out to be more resilient and successful. I followed the breadcrumbs of what made me feel alive and it's led me to here — what a wild ride!

3. What drives you to keep moving forward in life and in business after all the success you've attained thus far?

My ultimate goal is to reach my highest evolution in this lifetime. I strive to be lit up daily in my personal and business life and follow only things that resonate (though it's a practice and I misstep all the time). I love bringing alive ideas into physical form, and my businesses are those manifestations. I truly believe that I was lucky enough to have the luxury of losing everything. I know that at any time I can lose it all, and if that happens, I want to make sure I can look back and know I had a damn good time.

4. A lot of people feel that there is a big disconnect between capitalism and spiritually, but you seem to have found a sweet spot for both yourself and your business ventures. How closely intertwined is your spirituality with your entrepreneurial ventures? And why?

I don't think of things as being a part of my work life or a part of my personal spiritual life. It's all the same for me. Your external reality is just a reflection of your internal reality, so you have to do your personal work to shift from the inside out. Daily transcendental meditation is my number-one non-negotiable. Starting my day with space to clear out the noise of the outside world has been just as essential for my business as it has for my personal wellness. I share this gift with Poo~Pourri employees as well by offering TM training and Headspace app subscriptions and providing only healthy fuel and snacks in the office so we are all operating at optimal levels.

I also believe that there's nothing wrong with wanting money and success. Who wouldn't? But where I've found the most impact is in my actions. If I'm doing something or chasing an idea only to get money, it doesn't come. When I do my internal work and follow what's resonant because it feels good within my being, wouldn't you know that's when the money flows.

5. If you could go back in time and tell your younger self that you'd one day be one of America's richest self-made women by way of selling poop products, how do you think you'd react?

I'd lose my shit and probably laugh in your face because it would be so far beyond what I could have imagined. When I was little, I had the dream of working in a factory or at the post office because those were steady and consistent jobs. I wouldn't have ever even known to dream of being the one to finally break a pattern of generational poverty.

Breaking these types of patterns, the ones that are outdated and no longer serve us, is a huge passion of mine. I've got the world comfortable talking about shit, now what else can we get people to talk about?