Business 18 July 2018
I have never thought of myself as the only female in the room, I let results and dialogue speak for themselves. I see it as an opportunity to thrive and showcase my abilities to communicate, affect change and utilize my background to make an impact.
When I connect with women in every stage of their career and act as a mentor, which is something that I am VERY passionate about, I am often asked for advice on how to stand out and advance your career. I have put together a list of Do’s and Don’ts that is applicable regardless of what industry or career you are in. These are rules that I personally live by and have been important in getting me where I am today.
These lessons to live by apply to not only work, but also advancing in life. I am sharing these to hopefully inspire and impact individuals to always be their best in all that they do.
1. Don’t think of yourself as a female executive vs a male executive. That is the wrong motto. Be yourself, and let your results speak for themselves.
2. Speak up and show your point of view. Make sure that you are adding value to every conversation and every meeting. Being engaged is a great way to showcase your abilities.
3. Dress at work as if you are meeting with your CEO daily. Always dress for the job that you want. Exuding confidence is very important as well. You may have reached your peak leadership position, or maybe you still have your eye on it. Either way, play the part to achieve your goals. Carefully curate yourself to act in a distinguished and respectable manner.
4. Keep track of your personal goals and your team's goals. Make sure to measure them and track your progress. Remember that you can't manage what you don't measure. This will help to create a baseline, and then you’ll be able to see growth. It will also help you to see areas where you are lacking and maybe need to increase your efforts. Business is not a one-woman or one-man game. It takes a team of people with quality contributions to make a working collaborative product.
5. Always be on time, prepared and educated on the topic being discussed. Don’t scan documents before meetings or skim important memos. You must know your material, backwards and forwards. Preparation is the bottom line, and it's a pivotal quality in successful individuals. While personality is excellent, it won't get the job done. Proper preparatory measures are taken by the most responsible and aware individuals. These are the people you want running an event or project, because they can think on their feet and execute tasks the most effectively.
5 Things To Never Do
1. Do not be late. It is very important to make a good impression and be on time. Everyone is busy and being timely is a must. People often ask me how I fit everything I do into a day (work, training, time with family and friends) and the answer is by having a rigid schedule and sticking to it.
2. Don’t hide behind email - confront situations in person. If you can't meet with someone in person, call them. Or even better, FaceTime. There's no excuse to hide behind email, and transparency is an important quality for business leaders. Open communication allows colleagues and clients alike to build trust with the leadership and the company. Keeping the door open allows for transparent conversations. Openness can be a paramount quality to your personal leadership skill set. Make your values known in a respectful way and others will appreciate your directness. If you are true to your word, sincerity will shine through your interactions. Everyone in your workplace and personal sphere will appreciate sincere and genuine interactions based in transparency.
3. In today’s texting and mobile environment, don’t flip off in a text message in the heat of battle. If you have a gut reaction that is negative, take a moment to gather your thoughts and remember, a message sent in email or text is never a message received. You need to be clear and also collect your thoughts before responding in haste.
4. Never use inappropriate humor or language. Make sure to be professional at all times.
5. Don’t let your health go by the wayside because you think you have to work 24/7. If you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t manage a team. So remember to take time for yourself, especially if you're feeling under the weather. I make a huge effort to plan my schedule around my training. This helps me to manage stress and I find that I have more clarity in decision making when I incorporate fitness into my days. For me, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is all-encompassing. I have a cadence at work like I do with my running and training style and I pride myself on being disciplined with time - professionally and personally.
3 Min Read
Thinking of ringing up your ex during these uncertain times? Maybe you want an excuse to contact your ex, or maybe you genuinely feel the need to connect with someone on an emotional level. As a matchmaker and relationship expert, I was surprised at the start of the coronavirus quarantine when friends were telling me that they were contacting their exes! But as social distancing has grown to be more than a short-term situation, we must avoid seeking short-term solutions—and resist the urge to dial an ex.
It stands to reason that you would contact an ex for support. After all, who knows you and your fears better than an ex? This all translates into someone who you think can provide comfort and support. As a matchmaker, I already know that people can spark and ignite relationships virtually that can lead to offline love, but lonely singles didn't necessarily believe this or understand this initially, which drives them straight back to a familiar ex. You only need to tune into Love Is Blind to test this theory or look to Dina Lohan and her virtual boyfriend.
At the start of lockdown, singles were already feeling lonely. There were studies that said as much as 3 out of 4 people were lonely, and that was before lockdown. Singles were worried that dating someone was going to be off limits for a very long time. Now when you factor in a widespread pandemic and the psychological impact that hits when you have to be in isolation and can't see anyone but your takeout delivery person, we end up understanding this urge to contact an ex.
So, what should you do if you are tempted to ring up an old flame? How do you know if it's the wrong thing or the right thing to do in a time like this? Check out a few of my points before deciding on picking up that phone to text, much less call an ex.
Before You Dial The Ex...
First, you need to phone a friend! It's the person that got you through this breakup to begin with. Let them remind you of the good, the bad and the ugly before taking this first step and risk getting sucked back in.
What was the reason for your breakup? As I mentioned before, you could get sucked back in… but that might not be a bad thing. It depends; when you phoned that friend to remind you, did she remind you of good or bad things during the breakup? It's possible that you both just had to take jobs in different cities, and the breakup wasn't due to a problem in the relationship. Have these problems resolved if there were issues?
You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you.
Depending on the reason for the breakup, set your boundaries for how much contact beforehand. If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.
If you know you shouldn't be contacting this ex but feel lonely, set up a support system ahead of time. Set up activities or things to fall back on to resist the urge. Maybe you phone a different friend, join a virtual happy hour for singles, or binge watch Netflix. Anything else is acceptable, but don't phone that ex.
Write down your reasons for wanting to contact the ex. Ask yourself if this is worth the pain. Are you flea-bagging again, or is there a friendship to be had, which will provide you with genuine comfort? If it's the latter, it's okay to go there. If it's an excuse to go back together and make contact, don't.
Decide how far you are willing to take the relationship this time, without it being a rinse and repeat. If you broke up for reasons beyond your control, it's okay. If your ex was a serial cheater, phone a friend instead.
If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.
As life returns to a more normal state and you adjust to the new normal, we will slowly begin to notice more balance in our lives. You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you. Some do's and don'ts for this time would be:
- Do: exercise — taking care of you is important during this time. It's self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
- Do: shower, brush your teeth, and get out of your sweats.
- Don't: be a couch potato.
- Don't: drink or eat excessively during this time. Again, remember to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
- Do: think positive thoughts everyday and write down the 3 things you are grateful for. Look at the impact of John Krasinksi's SGN. It's uplifting and when you feel good, you won't want to slide backwards.
- Don't: contact a toxic ex. It's a backward move in a moment of uncertainty that could have a long term impact. Why continue flea bagging yourself?