Culture 26 August 2018
Life has had its ups and downs, but through it all Janet Denlinger, Rod Rohrich and I have been blessed. We wanted to give back and give a voice to a cause affecting women who are not as fortunate as we are.
What we realized is that women are not obtaining the advice and counsel they require to address the continued healing and adaptations that are a consequence of such surgery.
While the treatment of breast cancer has progressed, one third of all breast cancer patients will inevitably have a mastectomy. In addition, more women are being diagnosed with the BRCA gene mutation and will opt for a risk-reducing mastectomy. It’s crucial that the medical community help educate and inform patients about their reconstruction options as an integral part of cancer treatment. To that end we learned that educating women about their post-mastectomy options is of particular importance, especially when considering that up to 70% of women diagnosed with breast cancer are unsure of — or unaware of — their reconstruction options. Many of those who desire this surgery do not have sufficient insurance or other resources to pay for it. And while every woman who has had a mastectomy might not feel the need for reconstructive surgery, they need to consider all their options.
What we realized is that women are not obtaining the advice and counsel they require to address the continued healing and adaptations that are a consequence of such surgery. The mastectomy itself is just a part of the recovery process, both psychologically and otherwise. Whereas the restorative breast surgery is an integral part of total physical and emotional healing for many breast cancer survivors in order for them to feel whole again and to restore their self-esteem.
There are many breast cancer causes and organizations that are dedicated to education, funding research and finding a cure and it has been through their efforts— from charity walks to pink products— that they have provided such a necessary service to the patients.
However, only a handful of organizations focus on providing funding and support for reconstructive surgery. Because of this, we founded the Alliance in Reconstructive Surgery (AiRS) Foundation, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization.
Our mission is to be a resource and a support system for the women who have lost their breasts as a result of breast cancer, educating them on reconstruction options, as well as their health insurance coverage, and ultimately assisting them with the cost of reconstructive surgery itself, if qualified. AiRS makes it possible for women to consider all options regardless of their economic situation. AiRS also strives to be a resource and provide education about reconstruction for physicians and medical communities, as well as caregivers and advocacy organizations.
To help accomplish our mission, the AiRS Patient Advocacy Program is an essential service for patients, who may not have support systems or their families and caregivers to offer emotional support and help navigate the often frustrating and overwhelming health care system.
Who are our advocates?
Whether or not an advocate has any personal experience with breast cancer, an advocate is simply a caring person who is willing to listen, learn, and help someone who is going through a life-threatening illness.
educate patients about their options following mastectomy by providing resources and referrals.
Being there to lend an understanding ear and offer support and words of encouragement are wonderful gifts to patients who have already endured so much. Advocates make a difference in the lives of these women by supporting those who need help navigating an integral part of breast cancer treatment and recovery.
The primary goal of the Patient Advocacy Program is to:
Advocate and assist patients in navigating the health care system, promote patients’ rights, and speak on behalf of patients when necessary
Ensure that patients receive appropriate and timely care and financial assistance when needed
Educate patients about their options following mastectomy by providing resources and referrals
Provide compassionate support to help women through the physical and emotional recovery from breast cancer, and provide support to families and caregivers
AiRS relies on Advocates who commit to serve to meet the following expectations:
Provide empathetic and sensitive, discreet timely support and interaction with patients
Commit to learn about the various types of breast cancer, breast reconstruction
Understand the AiRS patient application and acceptance process and be willing to help patients through the application process, if necessary
Stay current with information about AiRS
To support or make a donation, visit www.airsfoundation.org
3 Min Read
Thinking of ringing up your ex during these uncertain times? Maybe you want an excuse to contact your ex, or maybe you genuinely feel the need to connect with someone on an emotional level. As a matchmaker and relationship expert, I was surprised at the start of the coronavirus quarantine when friends were telling me that they were contacting their exes! But as social distancing has grown to be more than a short-term situation, we must avoid seeking short-term solutions—and resist the urge to dial an ex.
It stands to reason that you would contact an ex for support. After all, who knows you and your fears better than an ex? This all translates into someone who you think can provide comfort and support. As a matchmaker, I already know that people can spark and ignite relationships virtually that can lead to offline love, but lonely singles didn't necessarily believe this or understand this initially, which drives them straight back to a familiar ex. You only need to tune into Love Is Blind to test this theory or look to Dina Lohan and her virtual boyfriend.
At the start of lockdown, singles were already feeling lonely. There were studies that said as much as 3 out of 4 people were lonely, and that was before lockdown. Singles were worried that dating someone was going to be off limits for a very long time. Now when you factor in a widespread pandemic and the psychological impact that hits when you have to be in isolation and can't see anyone but your takeout delivery person, we end up understanding this urge to contact an ex.
So, what should you do if you are tempted to ring up an old flame? How do you know if it's the wrong thing or the right thing to do in a time like this? Check out a few of my points before deciding on picking up that phone to text, much less call an ex.
Before You Dial The Ex...
First, you need to phone a friend! It's the person that got you through this breakup to begin with. Let them remind you of the good, the bad and the ugly before taking this first step and risk getting sucked back in.
What was the reason for your breakup? As I mentioned before, you could get sucked back in… but that might not be a bad thing. It depends; when you phoned that friend to remind you, did she remind you of good or bad things during the breakup? It's possible that you both just had to take jobs in different cities, and the breakup wasn't due to a problem in the relationship. Have these problems resolved if there were issues?
You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you.
Depending on the reason for the breakup, set your boundaries for how much contact beforehand. If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.
If you know you shouldn't be contacting this ex but feel lonely, set up a support system ahead of time. Set up activities or things to fall back on to resist the urge. Maybe you phone a different friend, join a virtual happy hour for singles, or binge watch Netflix. Anything else is acceptable, but don't phone that ex.
Write down your reasons for wanting to contact the ex. Ask yourself if this is worth the pain. Are you flea-bagging again, or is there a friendship to be had, which will provide you with genuine comfort? If it's the latter, it's okay to go there. If it's an excuse to go back together and make contact, don't.
Decide how far you are willing to take the relationship this time, without it being a rinse and repeat. If you broke up for reasons beyond your control, it's okay. If your ex was a serial cheater, phone a friend instead.
If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.
As life returns to a more normal state and you adjust to the new normal, we will slowly begin to notice more balance in our lives. You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you. Some do's and don'ts for this time would be:
- Do: exercise — taking care of you is important during this time. It's self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
- Do: shower, brush your teeth, and get out of your sweats.
- Don't: be a couch potato.
- Don't: drink or eat excessively during this time. Again, remember to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
- Do: think positive thoughts everyday and write down the 3 things you are grateful for. Look at the impact of John Krasinksi's SGN. It's uplifting and when you feel good, you won't want to slide backwards.
- Don't: contact a toxic ex. It's a backward move in a moment of uncertainty that could have a long term impact. Why continue flea bagging yourself?