#SWAAYthenarrative

How to Network Without Feeling Like a Stalker

Career

Technology has been a game changer when it comes to helping us get what we want, when we want – we can have it arrive at our doorstep, our fingertips, or in front of us for coffee, or a happy hour drink. The days of attending after-work networking events, where people stick on a name tag, shake a slew of strangers' hands, collect enough business cards to fill up their pockets, are becoming obsolete, even when we want to connect with industry professionals and investors.


Whether we're looking for a new job, new hires, or new investors to back a company that we've put a ton of our own sweat equity into over the years, it can all be done on a mobile phone, in your pajamas, drinking wine coolers on the couch.

However, with this new ease of making fast online connections, also comes new playing rules. How many emails are too many to send a person you're eager to meet for coffee? Is it okay to friend a potential investor on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat, and follow them on Instagram?

At the expense of looking too desperate, unprofessional, or on the border of receiving an online restraining order, here are five rules to follow when going online to network.

1. Three Emails Max

You may be determined to get a yes or no response from someone you're reaching out to via email, but keep your cool. Send two follow-up emails max and make sure they are spread out over 7 days. People are busy and email is something that begins to pile up. Eventually, people sort through their email and respond to the requests they are interested in. If you're eager to find out if someone opened your email or it went directly to their spam folder, you can install an email tracking plugin (such as: Mail Tracker) to your inbox.

2. One Social Message

Think about it. How many times do you check your DMs on Twitter and Instagram? You may just skip checking it altogether if you have a history of getting spam messages non-stop.

3. Follow on Your Favorite Social Media Platform

You may think you'll get on a person's radar if you follow them on every single place they are "social" on. You may come off as a stalker if you hit the follow button on all social media platforms at once, so instead do it gradually. Start by following the person on your favorite social media platform and then every week, follow them on one more place.

4. Get an Intro If You Can

Since it's easy to grab the contact information of anyone you want to chat with in the world (sometimes even celebrities) the best way to get noticed or get a response from a person is by introduction. Use LinkedIn to find out who you know is connected with that person and ask them to make an introduction for you.

5. Keep a Distance

If by chance you do notice that the person you want to meet is attending an event that you are also planning on attending, be sure to say hello in person. But be careful of rubbing them the wrong way by saying you knew they were going to be there thanks to their post on their private Facebook page.

3 min read
Culture

Please Don't Forget to Say Thank You

"More grapes, please," my daughter asked, as she continued to color her Peppa Pig drawing at the kitchen table.

"What do you say?" I asked her, as I was about to hand her the bowl.

"More grapes?"

I shook my head.

"Please?"

I stood there.

"I want green grapes instead of red grapes?"

I shook my head again. I handed her the bowl of green grapes. "Thank you. Please don't forget to say thank you."

"Thank you, Momma!"

Here's the question at hand: Do we have to retrain our leaders to say thank you like I am training my children?

Many of us are busy training our young children on manners on the other side of the Zoom camera during this pandemic. Reminding them to say please, excuse me, I tried it and it's not my favorite, I am sorry, and thank you. And yet somehow simple manners continue to be undervalued and underappreciated in our workplaces. Because who has time to say thank you?

"Call me. This needs to be completed in the next hour."

"They didn't like the deck. Needs to be redone."

"When are you planning on sending the proposal?"

"Did you see the questions he asked? Where are the responses?"

"Needs to be done by Monday."

Let me take a look. I didn't see a please. No please. Let me re-read it again. Nope, no thank you either. Sure, I'll get to that right away. Oh yes, you're welcome.

Organizations are under enormous pressure in this pandemic. Therefore, leaders are under enormous pressure. Business models collapsing, budget cuts, layoffs, or scrapping plans… Companies are trying to pivot as quickly as possible—afraid of extinction. With employees and leaders everywhere teaching and parenting at home, taking care of elderly parents, or maybe even living alone with little social interaction, more and more of us are dealing with all forms of grief, including losing loved ones to COVID-19.

So we could argue we just don't have time to say thank you; we don't have time to express gratitude. There's too much happening in the world to be grateful for anything. We are all living day to day, the pendulum for us swinging between surviving and thriving. But if we don't have the time to be grateful now, to show gratitude and thanks as we live through one of the most cataclysmic events in recent human history, when will we ever be thankful?

If you don't think you have to say thank you; if you don't think they deserve a thank you (it's their job, it's what they get paid to do); or if you think, "Why should I say thank you, no one ever thanks me for anything?" It's time to remember that while we might be living through one of the worst recessions of our lifetimes, the market will turn again. Jobs will open up, and those who don't feel recognized or valued will be the first to go. Those who don't feel appreciated and respected will make the easy decision to work for leaders who show gratitude.

But if we don't have the time to be grateful now, to show gratitude and thanks as we live through one of the most cataclysmic events in recent human history, when will we ever be thankful?

Here's the question at hand: Do we have to retrain our leaders to say thank you like I am training my children? Remind them with flashcards? Bribe them with a cookie? Tell them how I proud I am of them when they say those two magical words?

Showing gratitude isn't that difficult. You can send a thoughtful email or a text, send a handwritten card, send something small as a gesture of thank you, or just tell them. Call them and tell them how thankful you are for them and for their contributions. Just say thank you.

A coworker recently mailed me a thank you card, saying how much she appreciated me. It was one of the nicest things anyone from work has sent me during this pandemic. It was another reminder for me of how much we underestimate the power of a thank you card.

Apparently, quarantine gratitude journals are all the rage right now. So it's great if you have a beautiful, leather-bound gratitude journal. You can write down all of the people and the things that you are thankful for in your life. Apparently, it helps you sleep better, helps you stay grounded, and makes you in general happier. Just don't forget to take a moment to stop writing in that journal, and to show thanks and gratitude to those you are working with every single day.