3min readBusiness 16 July 2019
This is nightlife, where everyone is beautiful, champagne pours like water and people quickly spend thousands. But this doesn't just happen by chance, it takes the right person, and in our case a team, to filter a crowd and create the right vibe inside. If you have ever attended a nightclub in a major city, you've probably witnessed the infamous front doorman.
This person decides who gains access to a nightclub or party and this position comes with a few familiar but unspoken rules. Doormen have a reputation of being inhospitable, saying “no" just because they can, taking money at the door, and judging the crowd based off of looks. This position was notoriously held by a man; until we (VIPER by KCH) came around and decided to change the rules.
VIPER is an all female front of house operations and logistics team. We're based in LA and almost two years old. We run the front entrance and guest check in for most major events in the city, as well as a popular Hollywood nightlife venue.
So what is it like to be a door GIRL disrupting an industry of door MEN?
It's uncharted territory that comes with sexism but also the opportunity to shift an industry where women are either there to look pretty or pour a drink.
1. You often get the question: “Can I speak to your boss?"
Oh honey I am the boss… Whether it's in line with my personal morals or not, my job is keeping the uninvited party crashers out. So when doing this, most people ask where my boss is or angrily demand to see my supervisor to go above me. Rarely does a doorman hear this because guests understand his position and authority.
Celeste Durve and Kelsi Kitchener
2. Prepare to be ignored
It is always interesting to watch people walk up to a rope and look over or around you to find someone “in charge". A guests can look straight at us standing at the door with clipboards or iPads and still talk to any man they see before approaching a woman. Either they find a security guard or ask another guest who is in charge of the door.
3. It's an opportunity to represent women in charge.
Typically venues and events end up male dominated from security teams, to management, to promoters. Being a door girl allows you to bring a feminine energy amidst a LOT of testosterone. VIPER Girls greet every guest warmly while maintaining professionalism and authority. Doormen have the reputation of being too aggressive too quickly, so we do our best to change that by treating every guest with respect (even those we have to turn away).
4. You Call Your Own Shots
Unfortunately, It's common for women to endure disrespect to protect their jobs in any field; and the nightlife industry can be particularly derogatory. Being a door girl in charge comes with the unique capability to stand your ground.
When promoters get aggressive or guests make insulting comments, we have the last word on how the night ends for them. This is a small but important way of women getting stand up in an industry where they are normally told to stay seated.
5. Always a Good Experience.
We've had clients go from saying “a woman couldn't run our door" to never operating without us there. At first glance, guests are surprised to see an all female team only to later tell us that their experience at the front enhanced their mood inside. We custom tailor our operation per our client's specific needs and gratifying to see people recognize our value and strengths.
As door girls, we have a unique job full of ups and downs. Some nights we laugh and others we cry, but there is definitely never a dull moment.
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Help! My Friend Is a No Show
Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I have a friend who doesn't reply to my messages about meeting for dinner, etc. Although, last week I ran into her at a local restaurant of mine, it has always been awkward to be friends with her. Should I continue our friendship or discontinue it? We've been friends for a total four years and nothing has changed. I don't feel as comfortable with her as my other close friends, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reach that comfort zone in pure friendship.
Dear Sadsies,I am sorry to hear you've been neglected by your friend. You may already have the answer to your question, since you're evaluating the non-existing bond between yourself and your friend. However, I'll gladly affirm to you that a friendship that isn't reciprocated is not a good friendship.
I have had a similar situation with a friend whom I'd grown up with but who was also consistently a very negative person, a true Debby Downer. One day, I just had enough of her criticism and vitriol. I stopped making excuses for her and dumped her. It was a great decision and I haven't looked back. With that in mind, it could be possible that something has changed in your friend's life, but it's insignificant if she isn't responding to you. It's time to dump her and spend your energy where it's appreciated. Don't dwell on this friend. History is not enough to create a lasting bond, it only means just that—you and your friend have history—so let her be history!
- The Armchair Psychologist