TrueFinance 07 July 2019
The secret? There are no egos involved!
I am many things. I am a woman. I am a Millennial. I am a first-generation immigrant from Vietnam. I am a hard-worker. I'm also someone who thinks about the value of money, because growing up that wasn't something that myself or my family had a lot of.
These days, I think about money a lot. That's not just because I have a career in the finance industry, but because in my marriage, I chose to. I am the wearer of the theoretical “financial pants." While it's not the most “traditional" or romantic role that I fill in our relationship, it's one that I really enjoy - even when it means making difficult financial decisions for me and my husband. To fully unpack what it means to be the financial “pants wearer" in our marriage and how we came to this agreement, I think it's important to go back to square one and look at why I'm more inclined to this role in the first place.
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Help! My Friend Is a No Show
Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I have a friend who doesn't reply to my messages about meeting for dinner, etc. Although, last week I ran into her at a local restaurant of mine, it has always been awkward to be friends with her. Should I continue our friendship or discontinue it? We've been friends for a total four years and nothing has changed. I don't feel as comfortable with her as my other close friends, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reach that comfort zone in pure friendship.
Dear Sadsies,I am sorry to hear you've been neglected by your friend. You may already have the answer to your question, since you're evaluating the non-existing bond between yourself and your friend. However, I'll gladly affirm to you that a friendship that isn't reciprocated is not a good friendship.
I have had a similar situation with a friend whom I'd grown up with but who was also consistently a very negative person, a true Debby Downer. One day, I just had enough of her criticism and vitriol. I stopped making excuses for her and dumped her. It was a great decision and I haven't looked back. With that in mind, it could be possible that something has changed in your friend's life, but it's insignificant if she isn't responding to you. It's time to dump her and spend your energy where it's appreciated. Don't dwell on this friend. History is not enough to create a lasting bond, it only means just that—you and your friend have history—so let her be history!
- The Armchair Psychologist