4min readBusiness 16 July 2019
"Steal the mesh underwear you get from the hospital," a friend said upon learning I was pregnant with my first daughter.
It was the single best piece of advice I received before giving birth in December 2013. My best friend delivered her daughter eight months previously, and she was the first to pass along this shared code among new moms: you'll need mesh underwear for your at-home postpartum recovery, and you can't find them anywhere for purchase. End result: steal them. And tell your friends.
My delivery and subsequent recovery were not easy. To my unexpected surprise, after almost 24 hours of labor, I had an emergency C-section. Thankfully, my daughter was healthy; however, my recovery was quite a journey. The shock to my system caused my bloated and swollen body to need weeks of recovery time. Luckily, I had trusted my friend and followed her instructions: I had stolen some mesh underwear from the hospital to bring home with me.
Unfortunately, I needed those disposable underwear for much longer than I anticipated and quickly ran out. As I still wasn't quite mobile, my mother went to the store to find more underwear for me. Unfortunately, she couldn't find them anywhere and ended up buying me oversized granny panties. Sure, they were big enough, but I had to cut the waistband for comfort.
I eventually recovered from my C-section, survived those first few sleepless months, and returned to work. At the time, I was working for a Fortune 100 company and happily contributing to the corporate world. But becoming a new mom brought with it an internal struggle and search for something “more" out of my life--a desire to have a bigger impact. A flashback to my friend's golden piece of advice got me thinking: Why aren't mesh underwear readily available for women in recovery? What if I could make the magical mesh underwear available to new moms everywhere? Did I know much about designing, selling, or marketing clothing? Not really. But I also didn't know much about motherhood when I started that journey, either, and that seemed to be working out well. And so, Brief Transitions was born.
My quest began. With my manufacturing and engineering background I naively thought, It's one product. How hard could it be? While it may not have been “hard," it definitely took a lot of work. I slowly started to do some research on the possibilities. What would it take to start a company and bring these underwear to market? How are they made and what type of manufacturer do I need? With each step forward I learned a little more--I spoke with suppliers, researched materials, and experimented with packaging. I started to really believe that I was meant to bring these underwear to other moms in need.
Then I realized that I needed to learn more about the online business and ecommerce world as well. Google was my new best friend. On my one hour commute (each way), I listened to a lot of podcasts to learn about topics I wasn't familiar with--how to setup a website, social media platforms, email marketing, etc. I worked in the evenings and inbetween business trips to plan what I called Execution Phase. In 2016, I had a website with a Shopify cart up and running. I also delivered my second daughter via C-section (and handily also supplied myself with all the mesh underwear I needed).
They say, “If you build it, they will come." But I've learned that the saying should really go more like this: “If you build it, and tell everyone about it, they might come." I had a 3-month-old, an almost 3 year old and my business was up and running. I had an occasional sale; however, my processes were extremely manual and having a day job while trying to ship product out proved to be challenging. I was manually processing and filling orders and then going to the post office on Saturday mornings to ship to customers. I eventually decided to go where the moms shop...hello, Amazon Prime! I started to research what I needed to do to list products with Amazon and the benefits of Amazon fulfillment (hint: they take care of it for you).
Fast forward to 2018...
While I started to build this side business and saw a potential for it to grow way beyond my expectations, my corporate job became more demanding with respect to travel and time away from home. I was on the road 70% of the time during first quarter 2018. My normally “go with the flow" 4-year-old started to cry every time I left for a trip and asked why I wasn't home for bedtime. That was a low point for me and even though bedtime with young kids has its own challenges, I realized I didn't want to miss out on this time in their lives. My desire for more scheduling flexibility and less corporate travel time pushed me to work the nights and weekends needed to build and scale my side hustle to a full-time business. If anyone tries to tell you it's “easy" to build “passive" income, don't believe them. Starting and building a business takes a lot of grit, hustle and hard work. After months of agonizing, changing my mind, and wondering if I should really leave my job (and a steady paycheck!), I ultimately left my corporate job in April 2018 to pursue Brief Transitions full-time.
In building Brief Transitions, I reached out to like-minded women to see if they were experiencing similar challenges to my own--balancing creating and building a business while raising children--and I realized that many women are on the quest for flexible, meaningful work. I realized that we can advance the movement of female entrepreneurs by leveraging community to inspire, empower, and connect these trailblazers. For that reason, I recently launched a new project, The Transitions Collective, a platform for connecting community-driven women entrepreneurs.
As is the case with many entrepreneurs, I find myself working on multiple projects at a time. I am now working on a members-only community for The Transitions Collective that will provide access to experts and resources for women who want to leave corporate and work in their business full-time. Connecting and supporting women in this movement makes us a force in the future of work. At the same time, I had my most profitable sales quarter to date and best of all, I am able to drop my daughter off at school in the morning.
Mesh underwear started me on a journey much bigger than I ever imagined. They sparked an idea, ignited a passion, and drove me to find fulfillment in a different type of work. That stolen underwear was just the beginning.
3 Min Read
It is terrifying when you do not have all the answers, especially when you are a parent and your children are looking to you for safety.
We are living in a very chaotic time due to the fear of the unknown while a feeling of powerlessness and despair creeps over us. Some of us have many questions while others are not sure what to ask or what to do during this difficult period. The issue is that human beings seek comfort and once they receive that comfort, they either experience life lessons, are destined to repeat patterns until they learn from the lesson, or never understand the lesson at all.
While in crisis mode, we have the opportunity to recognize how to make improvements in our lives, but once the crisis is over, we often return to our typical behaviors such as disconnecting from face-to-face communication and quality time to focusing on technology and "socializing" online with strangers. As we are currently being asked to avoid unnecessary trips outside, the universe is asking us to go inward and identify areas in need of our attention that we have been neglecting. Now comes the test of our inner abilities of adapting and handling change as well as dealing with being out of control and powerless. We are going back to an era where family is a necessity for survival. Some families will break down further, while other families will rise to the occasion and hopefully work through their differences by focusing on what is most important to them.
Bear in mind that panicking is not equivalent to being prepared. Fear can result in illness. We highly recommend that you utilize this time wisely. First, it is imperative to do what we call a "self-check-in," to identify personal concerns and worries in order to avoid instilling those fears in your children and others. Once identifying your personal concerns, fears, thoughts, and feelings, we recommend that each household establishes routine family meetings with age-appropriate information. Prior to providing information to your children, we recommend asking them what they have already heard, what they are thinking and feeling, and whether they have any questions they would like to ask prior to adding more to their plate.
From there, you can provide a general overview of the situation such as stating, "There is an illness going around. Many will recover as there are many helpful nurses and doctors but some will have it worse than others, so it is important to be careful not to spread germs." An overview of proper handwashing would be beneficial as well as teaching ways to interact with others while promoting social distancing, i.e., staying six feet away from one another, waving hello rather than shaking hands, etc.
It is important for children to have guidance and the facts as well as a safe place to share their own concerns and fears. When researching answers to questions that you or your children may have, utilize credible sources such as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) as well as additional .gov and .org sources. Be mindful of overexposure for children, as the media can sensationalize these situations. Keep in mind that even adults can be overexposed to the chaos, so take breaks from the news for your own well-being. Some healthy ideas for taking breaks would involve quality family time such as: playing board games, building an indoor fort, reading, doing a puzzle together, cooking a meal, exercising, going for a walk, drawing or painting, etc. Children can also be encouraged to identify creative and healthy activities that they would like to do on their own as well as with their siblings, parents, and additional family members.
Should you want to process your concerns and fears with a professional, we highly recommend that you reach out to local therapists and mental health/family therapy centers in your area, as many have established telehealth sessions to accommodate the needs of the public.
This piece was cowritten by Hara Wachholder.
Hara Wachholder is a licensed mental health counselor with the State of Florida and received her master's degree in counseling from Nova Southeastern University. It was after the resolution of the long-winded custody battle between her parents that Hara recognized her calling to help others going through the same struggle. Hara Wachholder is currently the clinical director for a family therapy center located in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Karen Kaye, LMHC and Hara Wachholder, LMHC are a mother-daughter team of therapists as well as coauthors of My Parents Are Getting a Divorce . . . I Wonder What Will Happen to Me, an interactive discussion book that helps provide a bridge of understanding between parents and their children based on the personal and professional experience from the authors. The book creates a safe space for children to share their innermost thoughts and feelings while also teaching healthy coping skills for children to empower themselves during a chaotic and confusing time in their lives. The goal is to take children out of the middle and provide them with a voice as well as the tools that will allow them to grow into healthy, balanced individuals. For further information, please visit www.imstillmebook.com.