Business 20 September 2018
At only 17-years-old, Alexa Carlin was a CEO. And at 21-years-old, she had only a 1% chance to live. Both incredibly improbable, but both were Carlin’s reality. The now 26-year-old takes it all in stride and uses her experience to empower other women to make their entrepreneurial dreams a reality by hosting Women's Empowerment Expos.
Carlin grew up South Florida and earned a Bachelor's in Business Administration from the University of Florida. She is the Founder & CEO of the Women Empower Expo, as well as a frequent public speaker, and the creator of BeAPublicSpeaker.com
She says that she’s wanted to be a CEO ever since she was a little girl. “Even though I never knew what CEO actually stood for,” Carlin says. Still, “There was this knowing, internally, that I was meant to create and lead.”
In fact, ever since she was a kid, Carlin says she’s been an entrepreneur, always creating businesses and turning ideas into reality. Her first true entree into entrepreneurship was when she was 17 and she became the sole licensee to design jewelry for the L.A. based fashion company, OmniPeace. She even donated a percentage of proceeds to help build schools in Africa.
Since then, she’s been on a mission to use her entrepreneurial endeavors to create positive change, for one person, for her community and for the world. Her work with OmniPeace led to her next passion project, a blog called Hello Perfect. The site’s mission was to “redefine perfection” and garnered support from Mark Cuban, Michael Kors, Rebecca Minkoff, Steve Madden, and Whitney Port among others.
Carlin’s future was a bright one. Until it took a very dark turn.
When Carlin was a senior in college, just a few months before graduation in fact, her body went into septic shock and doctors placed her in a medically-induced coma. She was given a 1% chance to live. Six months later, she was then diagnosed with an autoimmune disease which she now lives with every day.
Carlin says she believes “things don't happen to you, they happen for you, and when you can learn to perceive your challenges as hidden opportunities, everything changes. I decided not to wait until my life changed but rather change my own life.” That, Carlin says, is how she overcame a health crisis that had a 99% chance of ending her life. That is how she came to found WEX.
Women Empower Expo (WEX) is a one-day event comprised of workshops, panels, breakout sessions, a pitch competition, a networking lounge, a woman-owned marketplace and the like, designed for women entrepreneurs and thought-leaders. The mission for WEX is “to empower, educate and equip women with the knowledge and community to create and grow
successful businesses.” At WEX, women can “learn from industry experts and female leaders, network with entrepreneurs and change-makers, discover tools and strategies to take your business to the next level, and feel empowered to create a positive change.”
Photo Source: Women Empower Expo
While speaking at a variety of companies and women's organizations in her local community, Carlin became aware of the huge disconnect between women. “All of these women were doing amazing things but no one knew each other. Everyone just stayed within their own membership group or industry.” Obviously, networking with and connecting to women from different industries and backgrounds is vital for both entrepreneurs and business leaders. That, Carlin says, was the inspiration behind WEX, “to create a community of women who felt empowered to connect and collaborate and create real change in their own lives, in their businesses, and in the world.”
Carlin says she has always been passionate about making a difference but it was never focused on women until she created her first blog, Hello Perfect, in 2011. She was in college, interning in NYC one summer, and she became very aware of how common it was for women and young girls to criticize themselves and one another.
“I hated how self-doubt and low confidence was a common thing among young women, and I wanted to change that. That's when I began really focusing on instilling confidence in myself and young women and from there my passion grew to really make a change for women everywhere,” she explains.
To start WEX, Carlin took $2,000 from her savings and put a down payment on a venue. “I didn't know how to put on an event of this size or even how I would pull off getting 2,000 people to attend. But I believed in myself and in my mission so I went for it and learned during the process.” Carlin believes that waiting is what kills most people’s dreams. “You must execute your ideas if you believe in them.”
Carlin says that seeing thousands of women come together for the first time to collaborate, learn, and grow was unlike anything else. “It was truly remarkable. Not only seeing my idea turn to reality, but to see how much of an impact it was having on the women in attendance. It's what drives me to keep going still to this day.”
Delegation and finances are the greatest challenges Carlin says she has faced in terms in getting WEX up and running. “I've been an entrepreneur for ten years now, running my companies as a one-woman show. But for an event of this size and how fast we are growing as a company, I knew I needed help to take it to the next level.” Carlin says she finds delegating difficult for her as she wants to ensure that everything is set to the brand’s standards. “But it's been the best thing for me as an entrepreneur and for the company in general.”
Naturally, she says, the other challenge is funding. She owns 100% of the company and has supported it since the beginning. “We have been profitable but with any growing company who needs to bring on staff. It's always a bit challenging in the beginning years.”
Carlin says there have been many happy moments, but the happiest have been the stories she hears from attendees after she’s done speaking. Attendees tell her how much she has inspired or impacted their lives. “One of the happiest surprises was when a few people that have been following me online for years now showed up at WEX and they were wearing my bracelets I had created or brought me the cookbook I wrote to sign it for them, sharing with me how I've made a difference in their life.”
Carlin says her health crisis actually helped her to discover her greatest potential and, she adds, “It changed my perspective on everything. It made me realize how strong I am and just how capable we all are of achieving anything we dream.” When she looks back at that 1% diagnosis she received while in a coma in a ICU she thinks, “If the odds were that against me then, it doesn't matter what the odds are moving forward, in business or life, because I am the 1%.”
Carlin now calls her health challenges a blessing because, “I now get to share them with others and through this experience, I found my passion for public speaking.” Although Carlin says she never imagined herself running these huge events or even being a public speaker, she did know deep down that she’d be running her own company.
Looking toward the future, Carlin hopes to meet some with whom to share her life; to get her book published; to continue growing the Women Empower Expo to multiple cities; and to “see a shift in the way things have been with women, equal rights, school shootings, and leadership in government.”
When it comes to women turning their dreams into their realities, Carlin says that mindset, community, and execution are the keys to success. Confidence in yourself and your dreams is imperative, as is surrounding yourself with people who “inspire, empower, and believe in you.” Massive amounts of action is required as well, she says, and although you may never feel 100% ready, you have to simply, “Go for it. Don't wait until outside circumstances change. You have everything you need right now to achieve what you want in life. It is your job to find a way.”
3 Min Read
Thinking of ringing up your ex during these uncertain times? Maybe you want an excuse to contact your ex, or maybe you genuinely feel the need to connect with someone on an emotional level. As a matchmaker and relationship expert, I was surprised at the start of the coronavirus quarantine when friends were telling me that they were contacting their exes! But as social distancing has grown to be more than a short-term situation, we must avoid seeking short-term solutions—and resist the urge to dial an ex.
It stands to reason that you would contact an ex for support. After all, who knows you and your fears better than an ex? This all translates into someone who you think can provide comfort and support. As a matchmaker, I already know that people can spark and ignite relationships virtually that can lead to offline love, but lonely singles didn't necessarily believe this or understand this initially, which drives them straight back to a familiar ex. You only need to tune into Love Is Blind to test this theory or look to Dina Lohan and her virtual boyfriend.
At the start of lockdown, singles were already feeling lonely. There were studies that said as much as 3 out of 4 people were lonely, and that was before lockdown. Singles were worried that dating someone was going to be off limits for a very long time. Now when you factor in a widespread pandemic and the psychological impact that hits when you have to be in isolation and can't see anyone but your takeout delivery person, we end up understanding this urge to contact an ex.
So, what should you do if you are tempted to ring up an old flame? How do you know if it's the wrong thing or the right thing to do in a time like this? Check out a few of my points before deciding on picking up that phone to text, much less call an ex.
Before You Dial The Ex...
First, you need to phone a friend! It's the person that got you through this breakup to begin with. Let them remind you of the good, the bad and the ugly before taking this first step and risk getting sucked back in.
What was the reason for your breakup? As I mentioned before, you could get sucked back in… but that might not be a bad thing. It depends; when you phoned that friend to remind you, did she remind you of good or bad things during the breakup? It's possible that you both just had to take jobs in different cities, and the breakup wasn't due to a problem in the relationship. Have these problems resolved if there were issues?
You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you.
Depending on the reason for the breakup, set your boundaries for how much contact beforehand. If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.
If you know you shouldn't be contacting this ex but feel lonely, set up a support system ahead of time. Set up activities or things to fall back on to resist the urge. Maybe you phone a different friend, join a virtual happy hour for singles, or binge watch Netflix. Anything else is acceptable, but don't phone that ex.
Write down your reasons for wanting to contact the ex. Ask yourself if this is worth the pain. Are you flea-bagging again, or is there a friendship to be had, which will provide you with genuine comfort? If it's the latter, it's okay to go there. If it's an excuse to go back together and make contact, don't.
Decide how far you are willing to take the relationship this time, without it being a rinse and repeat. If you broke up for reasons beyond your control, it's okay. If your ex was a serial cheater, phone a friend instead.
If there was abuse or toxic behaviors in the relationship, don't even go there. You can't afford to repeat this relationship again.
As life returns to a more normal state and you adjust to the new normal, we will slowly begin to notice more balance in our lives. You want to come from a good place of reflection and not let bad habits make the choice for you. Some do's and don'ts for this time would be:
- Do: exercise — taking care of you is important during this time. It's self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
- Do: shower, brush your teeth, and get out of your sweats.
- Don't: be a couch potato.
- Don't: drink or eat excessively during this time. Again, remember to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
- Do: think positive thoughts everyday and write down the 3 things you are grateful for. Look at the impact of John Krasinksi's SGN. It's uplifting and when you feel good, you won't want to slide backwards.
- Don't: contact a toxic ex. It's a backward move in a moment of uncertainty that could have a long term impact. Why continue flea bagging yourself?