#SWAAYthenarrative

The G-spot Exists Even If Junk Science Says It Doesn’t

5min read
Health

Yes, there is a G-spot. Of course there's a G-spot.


There's always been a G-spot.

And while we're on the subject, it's not a spot. It's not a little button or dot. It's an area. While we're on the subject, we really should rename it all together. A man “discovered it." Uh, huh. And he named it after himself. Of course. But I digress. The point is, the G-spot very much exists.

How do I know? Because I've touched my share of them. I've touched them and stimulated them, and the women to whom those G-spots belonged had delicious orgasms from the said touching of them. Ask them. Go ahead. You don't have to believe me because the G-spot is not the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus or even God for that matter. It's not something to “believe in." It's something that exists because it's there and you can touch it.

As the author of two books on women's sexuality, “O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm" and “The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex," I have talked to hundreds of women; researched and spoken to the experts; and read, read, read everything I could get my hands on. I know the G-spot exists because it exists. That is how you know something exists. You do not however, deny the existence of something because, well, it's self-serving.

And in case you're thinking, “You've written some sex books and slept with some women. You're no doctor." You're right. But Juliana Morris, PhD, LMFT, LPC is. She's a credentialed therapist, academic, and a bona fide (s)expert, with decades of experience “counseling and supporting thousands of individuals and couples on their paths to discover and own their sexual agency."

Her thoughts on the G-Spot? “Yes, it exists. Better stated….every (biologically identified) woman has the potential for pleasure in an area within her vaginal cavity. That is how I describe it. An area of potential. I am confident it exists because of hundreds of interviews and work with women. Women who have experienced pleasure in an area within her 'accidently,' women who have made purposeful efforts to find pleasure in this area as a solo or partnered endeavor using specific techniques to maximize the potential of pleasure for her and hearing both groups describe the difference of pleasure from other orgasmic experiences."

The fact that some folks who have the audacity to call themselves “researchers" when they only had thirteen women in their study – THIRTEEN – decided there is no G-spot because they couldn't find one is idiocy. I have touched more than thirteen of them personally. Just all by myself, no research study – OR DOLLARS – required. Morris adds, “That study is inaccurate and is inherently flawed. In large part because of the belief that it functions like other pleasure organs. Mainly, however, because it is asking the wrong questions and using inadequate parameters to prove or disprove it."

I'll tell you what outranks that study by a zillion – reality. I have touched the G-spots of women I have loved, women I have hooked up with, and even women with whom I have taken Body Dodson's famed masturbation workshop Body Sex. Of course there's a G-spot. Don't be ridiculous.

This is just another chapter in the on-going saga of “men who don't want to learn about women's bodies or have women know about their own bodies so let's just call women frigid or broken or too complicated." We and our bodies are none of those things. Women who don't want to have sex aren't frigid. They are tired of showing up for an activity that feeds male pleasure and leaves them hanging because too many men have no idea how to work the equipment.

Women aren't broken. We don't have penises. We don't want or need penises. We have something WAY better. We have clitorises with 8,000 plus nerve endings and no other job other than to give us pleasure. And, no, our bodies aren't too complicated. All you have to do is ask. Believe me, if you care enough to ask, she'll be happy to tell you what rocks her world.

The thing is, men, who are in charge of the budgets and the research and the media and the message, get nothing for themselves – zero, zilch, nada – from teaching and promoting the truth about women's bodies and sexuality. Not to mention is that all men want to do is measure and quantify. No can do with the G-spot. But that doesn't matter one bit.

Morris explains, “I do believe the reason behind the quest to invalidate the G-spot area is heavily rooted in the misguided notion that a woman's pleasure experience cannot be measured or seen and thusly cannot exist. The antiquated medical and scientific views of research do not apply to the variance and contextual nuisances of womanhood and female pleasure. And that difference-from the male, medical model is threatening and challenging and for some in that world, easily dismissed. Or must be dismissed. Unexplained + variance +can't be seen/measure= bad, crazy, non-existent. And frankly…the scientific and medical world, especially male practitioners in general still exhibit a level of discomfort if not distaste for female pleasure."

On the other hand, straight men gain plenty from creating and feeding the myths. They can keep women feeling less-than and self-conscious and dirty and broken and thinking that they need a man, that they are lucky to even have one since they are so broken. Then men don't have to learn or put in any effort in the bedroom or anywhere else for that matter because they are, all puns intended, cock of the walk. Well, fuck that.

Listen up, ladies. There is nothing wrong with you. Not one damn thing. Your body and your clitoris and your vagina and your very much existing G-spot are all perfect and they are all yours. And while we're on the subject, you have every right to enjoy them on your own, with a partner, with many partners, within a loving relationship, just for fun, whatever.

Masturbate, make love, hook up, you do you. Literally. You don't need a man. You can want one. But you do not – I repeat, do not – in any way need a man for sexual pleasure. The penis is completely and totally unnecessary for female sexual pleasure. COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. There are mouths and fingers and toys and even vegetables that are actually far better suited for the job.

Too much of this “there's no G-spot" nonsense comes from the fact that most folks don't even know the truth about the clitoris. That tiny little bud on the outside is the tip of the iceberg. The clitoris has long, internal legs. Think inverted wishbone.

Women have just as much – if not more – erectile tissue than men.

Women have just as much – if not more – erectile tissue than men. Women can experience gobs of pleasure when some penis isn't just using the vagina like some sort of masturbation sleeve, banging away until said penis is done. And – side note – when it's done it's done, unlike the mighty clitoris which requires zero recoup time. ZERO. Sure the G-stop is a relative of the clitoris. Regardless of who or what it's related to - it exists. Not every woman goes wild when her G-spot is stimulated. That is true. Not every women can identify her G-spot. That is true. But every woman does have a G-spot. You simply have be enough of a human being to care about women and their bodies and their pleasure to know that. People can tell you about Game of Thrones in minute detail but they don't know the difference between a vagina and a vulva. (The vagina is the internal canal. The vulva is the external bits.)

This is getting so idiotic. We don't need any more studies. We need people to start talking to and LISTENING to women. The very pussy owning humans themselves. Want to know the truth about women's bodies? Pay attention to the ones you are insanely lucky to be intimate with. This is all verifiable info. This is not some Lochness shit here. Come on.

Women need to know their bodies. Human need to know about women's bodies. “I think it is crucial for women to understand, deeply, the implications of our variance in anatomy and pleasure," says Morris. "Our variance needs to be acknowledged, understood, celebrated and validated. Our variance is indeed beautiful. Normal. Expected. No big deal. Some of our variance is rooted in evolutionary brilliance. Some of it is evolutionary irrelevance, and it just is. We all need a roadmap to examine our sexuality and pleasure and medical studies like this just distract us from the REAL research."

"That dream aside, pleasure is our birthright. We have the right to seek, enhance and experience pleasure. On our own terms and in our own way. Validating the existence for the potential for pleasure in this area is one area where women can choose to claim this collectively." -Juliana Morris

If you're a woman, grab a mirror and have a look. Masturbate, please. Insert your own fingers into your own vagina, curve it upwards, and two inches in, toward the front of your body, you will feel a patch of tissue with ridges on it. Play with it and it will expand. That's your G-spot. Insert a toy that vibrates to stimulate it. Insert the classic and most reliable toy on earth for masturbation, the Betty Dodson Barbell, and try out her Rock and Rock Method of masturbation. (You can thank me later.) And once you have done that, you will smack the face of anyone who tells you what body parts you don't have. And if someone argues with you, make a note to never, ever, ever have sex with them. Ever. And to those “researchers," get a real job. Women don't need anyone else telling us that we don't have body parts that we clearly do. We don't need anyone else chipping away at our self-esteem. We don't need any more sex shaming. And thirteen people? Really? Thirteen? Shame on you. You and your practices and your findings are ridiculous.

And to anyone who has the honor of engaging with a woman and her body, be respectful, pay attention, put your own pleasure on the back burner, remember that just because it feels good to you doesn't mean it does a damn thing for her, and for God's sake, listen – listen, listen, listen.

Yes, Virginia, there is a G-spot.

3 Min Read
Health

7 Must-have Tips to Keep You Healthy and Fit for the Unpredictable COVID Future

With a lack of certainty surrounding the future, being and feeling healthy may help bring the security that you need during these unpredictable times.

When it comes to your health, there is a direct relationship between nutrition and physical activity that play an enormous part in physical, mental, and social well-being. As COVID-19 continues to impact almost every aspect of our lives, the uncertainty of the future may seem looming. Sometimes improvisation is necessary, and understanding how to stay healthy and fit can significantly help you manage your well-being during these times.

Tip 1: Communicate with your current wellness providers and set a plan

Gyms, group fitness studios, trainers, and professionals can help you to lay out a plan that will either keep you on track through all of the changes and restrictions or help you to get back on the ball so that all of your health objectives are met.

Most facilities and providers are setting plans to provide for their clients and customers to accommodate the unpredictable future. The key to remaining consistent is to have solid plans in place. This means setting a plan A, plan B, and perhaps even a plan C. An enormous amount is on the table for this coming fall and winter; if your gym closes again, what is your plan? If outdoor exercising is not an option due to the weather, what is your plan? Leaving things to chance will significantly increase your chances of falling off of your regimen and will make consistency a big problem.

The key to remaining consistent is to have solid plans in place. This means setting a plan A, plan B, and perhaps even a plan C.

Tip 2: Stay active for both mental and physical health benefits

The rise of stress and anxiety as a result of the uncertainty around COVID-19 has affected everyone in some way. Staying active by exercising helps alleviate stress by releasing chemicals like serotonin and endorphins in your brain. In turn, these released chemicals can help improve your mood and even reduce risk of depression and cognitive decline. Additionally, physical activity can help boost your immune system and provide long term health benefits.

With the new work-from-home norm, it can be easy to bypass how much time you are spending sedentary. Be aware of your sitting time and balance it with activity. Struggling to find ways to stay active? Start simple with activities like going for a walk outside, doing a few reps in exchange for extra Netflix time, or even setting an alarm to move during your workday.

Tip 3: Start slow and strong

If you, like many others during the pandemic shift, have taken some time off of your normal fitness routine, don't push yourself to dive in head first, as this may lead to burnout, injury, and soreness. Plan to start at 50 percent of the volume and intensity of prior workouts when you return to the gym. Inactivity eats away at muscle mass, so rather than focusing on cardio, head to the weights or resistance bands and work on rebuilding your strength.

Be aware of your sitting time and balance it with activity.

Tip 4: If your gym is open, prepare to sanitize

In a study published earlier this year, researchers found drug-resistant bacteria, the flu virus, and other pathogens on about 25 percent of the surfaces they tested in multiple athletic training facilities. Even with heightened gym cleaning procedures in place for many facilities, if you are returning to the gym, ensuring that you disinfect any surfaces before and after using them is key.

When spraying disinfectant, wait a few minutes to kill the germs before wiping down the equipment. Also, don't forget to wash your hands frequently. In an enclosed space where many people are breathing heavier than usual, this can allow for a possible increase in virus droplets, so make sure to wear a mask and practice social distancing. Staying in the know and preparing for new gym policies will make it easy to return to these types of facilities as protocols and mutual respect can be agreed upon.

Tip 5: Have a good routine that extends outside of just your fitness

From work to working out, many routines have faltered during the COVID pandemic. If getting back into the routine seems daunting, investing in a new exercise machine, trainer, or small gadget can help to motivate you. Whether it's a larger investment such as a Peloton, a smaller device such as a Fitbit, or simply a great trainer, something new and fresh is always a great stimulus and motivator.

Make sure that when you do wake up well-rested, you are getting out of your pajamas and starting your day with a morning routine.

Just because you are working from home with a computer available 24/7 doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your entire day to work. Setting work hours, just as you would in the office, can help you to stay focused and productive.

A good night's sleep is also integral to obtaining and maintaining a healthy and effective routine. Adults need seven or more hours of sleep per night for their best health and wellbeing, so prioritizing your sleep schedule can drastically improve your day and is an important factor to staying healthy. Make sure that when you do wake up well-rested, you are getting out of your pajamas and starting your day with a morning routine. This can help the rest of your day feel normal while the uncertainty of working from home continues.

Tip 6: Focus on food and nutrition

In addition to having a well-rounded daily routine, eating at scheduled times throughout the day can help decrease poor food choices and unhealthy cravings. Understanding the nutrients that your body needs to stay healthy can help you stay more alert, but they do vary from person to person. If you are unsure of your suggested nutritional intake, check out a nutrition calculator.

If you are someone that prefers smaller meals and more snacks throughout the day, make sure you have plenty of healthy options, like fruits, vegetables and lean proteins available (an apple a day keeps the hospital away). While you may spend most of your time from home, meal prepping and planning can make your day flow easier without having to take a break to make an entire meal in the middle of your work day. Most importantly, stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water.

Tip 7: Don't forget about your mental health

While focusing on daily habits and routines to improve your physical health is important, it is also a great time to turn inward and check in with yourself. Perhaps your anxiety has increased and it's impacting your work or day-to-day life. Determining the cause and taking proactive steps toward mitigating these occurrences are important.

For example, with the increase in handwashing, this can also be a great time to practice mini meditation sessions by focusing on taking deep breaths. This can reduce anxiety and even lower your blood pressure. Keeping a journal and writing out your daily thoughts or worries can also help manage stress during unpredictable times, too.

While the future of COVI9-19 and our lives may be unpredictable, you can manage your personal uncertainties by focusing on improving the lifestyle factors you can control—from staying active to having a routine and focusing on your mental health—to make sure that you emerge from this pandemic as your same old self or maybe even better.