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Follow The Money: Why (and When) Men Get Raises Over Women

Career

As the #BossInHeels, my personal mission is to empower women to run the world by showing them how to own their unique strengths to achieve success. Consequently, I developed my own website, heathermonahan.com, which is dedicated to providing insight into how women can succeed in business - and in life - through what I refer to as the ‘Monahan Method.’ I launched this social media initiative to motivate, inspire and teach women how to get ahead, and as a result, I have mentored various women and continue to work with these mentees monthly.


With over twenty years of experience in the corporate world, my tireless passion and hard-won wisdom has enabled me to be able to speak to other women with sage, firsthand experience. Additionally, as a single mother, I deeply empathize with the multitude of demands that women must meet every day. Transparency around my struggles as a single mom, my own life challenges and successes, allows me to connect with women, celebrate their attributes and teach them to leverage these traits in their favor. My goal is to inspire women to embrace their inner powerhouse so they too, may be unstoppable. Even if this means having to take a cue from our male counterparts here and there.

The reason I say this is because as someone who has decades of experience as a hiring manager, I have come to realize that there are several differences between how men and women approach asking for a raise and what universally works.

I have observed countless men and women position themselves for a raise and in every instance - either the employee sold the organization on why they deserved the raise - or the company sold them on why they couldn’t receive a raise at that time (usually told to women more often than not). But, don't despair, there's still hope, as outlined below.

Timing Is Everything

The clock is ticking on budgets being solidified for 2017 and if your increase is not factored into the new budgets, you will have another year to wait to get your increase considered. So, if you need a raise, this is your chance to beat other employees to the punch. Employers will only give out so many increases, and the employees that are approved first will be the employees that get the raise.

Mono y Mono
Be sure to ask for a raise in person, not by email or over the phone. It is much harder for a supervisor to turn you down when they are face to face with you.

Mars' Money vs Venus' Money

No matter your gender, asking for a raise typically opens up a great conversation to review your accomplishments and revisit expectations for your position. But, the conversation around compensation is still very uncomfortable for many people, as it is viewed as extremely personal and at times emotional. This, however, is not usually the case for men and here's why:

1. Men are confident that what they are asking for is justified and they see asking for a raise simply as a formality. Women on the other hand are typically more unsure - and at times - even apologetic for asking for a raise at all.

2. Men typically take the position that their achievements speak for themselves and warrant the raise. Women typically are more easily talked into why it is not the right time for the company to give out the raise. Therefore, men are more focused on themselves, while women focus more on the company perspective.

3. Men come across much more bullish when asking for a raise which shows confidence. Women come across much more subtle in their approach which can be interpreted as insecure or unsure.

4. Men don’t have a hard time pointing to others in the organization that are making more money and inferring that the gap needs to be closed in order for them to stay on the team. Women don’t usually point to other employees to compare comp structures or pay, but they truly should in order to ensure the pay gap is closed and not broadened based on gender.

In closing, while there is a vast disparity between males and females on average when it comes to asking for a raise, the top differences listed above are ones that women should mimic and take into account for their own fiscal benefit.

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Culture

Miss USA Cheslie Kryst and Eboni K Williams Get Real On ​Race, Success, and Empowerment

Eboni K. Williams and Cheslie Kryst have a lot in common, as Iman Oubou Founder & CEO of SWAAY as well as host of the Women Who Swaay podcast puts it, "They're both badass attorneys, they're both from North Carolina and they've both competed in the Miss North Carolina USA pageants." And they also both took over our podcast on the most recent episode, straight from the headquarters of the Miss Universe Organization!


Cheslie is a successful licensed attorney who also happens to be the reigning Miss USA 2019, with plans to represent our country in the upcoming Miss Universe competition. Not only is she at the height of her pageant power, but she is using the notoriety to create positive change for all of the women in her life, much like her role model Eboni K. Williams. Williams is a journalist, author, attorney and speaker; from her long history as a pageant queen she has risen through the ranks of male dominated industries from law-firms to Fox News. All throughout her journey she has persevered with intelligence, tenacity and poise. Lucky enough for us, she has kindly put her reporting skills to use and got candid with Ms. Kryst about supporting their fellow women, the current state of race in America and their history together as pageant compatriots. All of these topics are incredibly close to their hearts as powerful black women using their influence to create a better future for all women in America.

Oh and, as previously stated, both are complete and utter badasses.

During their podcast takeover they talked about it all, from pageants to politics. It's clear that both of these women are motivated by an altruistic spirit and are strong supporters of #womensupportingwomen. Eboni even read a passage from her book, Pretty Powerful: Appearance, Substance, and Success, in which she outlines how her own career trajectory was so positively affected by the incredible women who mentored her in different stages of her life. She completely shuts down the idea of the "woman on woman teardown," calling it a "pitiful dynamic" tied to the "long and very hurtful history of women." This idea that in order to compete for a spot in the old boy's club, women must first fight off their own gender is not only reductive but it also supports an outdated social structure that was built to greatly favor male success. Throughout history women have been encouraged to look at one another as competition, one more obstacle to pass by. However, all that has managed to do is to pit us against each other, fighting for the few meager seats at the table allowed for women while we ignore the real problem. The problem isn't about the lack of seats allotted for women; the problem is that men are still the ones making the seating arrangements, and it's time for that to change, something that both Cheslie and Eboni understand well.

Race is another topic that is incredibly important to both of these women, and they have quite the in-depth discussion on it during this podcast. Cheslie, who is biracial and self-identifies as black, laid out her point of view on race. She voiced her frustrations for never feeling like she had her own box to tick, being stuck to decide between "black, white, or other" in standardized situations like the SATs. Existing as someone stuck between two cultures has been incredibly challenging, and though she found some solace in the black community, she felt less welcomed by her white peers. Self-identifying as black is something that has allowed her more agency in regards to her own identity, and though she still faces difficulties she realizes how important it is to be a confident black woman in the esteemed position she is currently in. Both Cheslie and Eboni seem to bond over the idea that no matter the successes, they both revel in the victories of their fellow women of color. Each of them is motivated to see more women of color in powerful, visible positions to inspire future generations. It's not about their own success; it's about respect and renown for any and all women of color.

I may have just provided the highlight reel, but the full conversation shared between Cheslie and Eboni on the Women Who Swaay podcast is a must listen. These two women managed to make me laugh while restoring hope for a better America all within a half hour of listening time! Seriously, go get those headphones, right now. You will not regret it.