If you are reading this piece, you are probably planning to pop the big question, have just been proposed, or are merely looking for information. Marriage is a beautiful institution. After months or years of commitment, you spend the rest of your life with your partner.
However, as you get there, it pays to be in the know. Understanding marriage is vital as it prepares you for both the challenges and good times ahead. In this article, we discuss everything you need to know about marriage so that you are fully equipped as you tie the knot.
You Need to Discuss Finances
Did you know that finances are one of the reasons why people divorce? Therefore, it is one of the critical issues that you should disclose and discuss with your partner before getting married. You should reveal the details of your financial situation, so you two know how to manage it best. Will you have a joint account? How will you manage your separate accounts? It is essential to have this talk before and even in marriage to help consolidate the union. If you do not prepare yourself like this, you are likely to feel controlled, and insecurities may crop up in the future.
Finances are a sensitive matter and can be a touchy topic for many, but eventually, you learn how to communicate if you start talking.
You will be in Conflict with Your Partner
While this may sound like a discouraging statement, it is the reality that everyone faces in marriage. No matter how much you love your partner, there are times when you will be at loggerheads with him/her. You may not know this during your honeymoon stage because you are still filled with joy, and you cannot imagine that your partner has potentially annoying traits and that eventually, you will get into conflict.
Understand how you will deal with these conflicts. The first step usually is for both parties to realize their role in the problem and find a way to solve it. Conflicting with your partner can be intense. Ensure that you know how to manage your stress at this time and care for yourself, even as you strive to address it. Talk to your partner and learn the art of listening so you can solve the conflict. Learn how to talk with your partner as situations can get complicated over time, and you will need to communicate.
Some Differences May Be Irreconcilable
Everyone gets married, hoping that their partnership will last a lifetime. However, there can be irreconcilable differences in a marriage that eventually lead to divorce. Some of the top causes of divorce include:
- Financial issues
- Lack of compatibility
- Lack of intimacy.
Divorce can be an intense process, and it can be not very easy, especially where children are involved. Nobody likes to get divorced, but if it comes to this, you should be prepared. Experts from MorganDivorceLaw.com recommend that you stay close to your family and friends for support and this time. It would help if you also got the right divorce lawyer that understands your needs and the legal process. Divorce lawyers help you attain a peaceful solution and give you advice that will work for your situation. They can help you shorten what could have been a long, unhealthy court battle by providing mediation to satisfy both parties.
Before you decide that divorce is the way to go for you, remember that there are other ways to solve the conflict. Try to work things out unless you experience intolerable behavior such as infidelity and abuse.
As you venture into marriage, expect both good and bad times. You should stick to the 5:1 magic ratio in matters of love. For every single conflict/negative interaction, you and your partner should have five positive interactions to remain stable and happy. Positivity in every relationship is crucial, but it can be the reason why your marriage stands. Do the little things that are likely to make your partner happy and give them hugs and little kisses. While these actions may seem small, they can make all the difference.
Marriage is beautiful because it gives you the chance to build a new life with the love of your life. However, there is more to the divorce than just the wedding. As you start a new life, you will learn things you never knew about your partner, get into conflict, and sometimes, sadly, your union may end up in divorce. We do not hope for a sad ending, but it pays to be prepared. While you are married, remember to stay open and positive and that communication can make or break your relationship.
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Help! My Friend Is a No Show
Dear Armchair Psychologist,
I have a friend who doesn't reply to my messages about meeting for dinner, etc. Although, last week I ran into her at a local restaurant of mine, it has always been awkward to be friends with her. Should I continue our friendship or discontinue it? We've been friends for a total four years and nothing has changed. I don't feel as comfortable with her as my other close friends, and I don't think I'll ever be able to reach that comfort zone in pure friendship.
Dear Sadsies,I am sorry to hear you've been neglected by your friend. You may already have the answer to your question, since you're evaluating the non-existing bond between yourself and your friend. However, I'll gladly affirm to you that a friendship that isn't reciprocated is not a good friendship.
I have had a similar situation with a friend whom I'd grown up with but who was also consistently a very negative person, a true Debby Downer. One day, I just had enough of her criticism and vitriol. I stopped making excuses for her and dumped her. It was a great decision and I haven't looked back. With that in mind, it could be possible that something has changed in your friend's life, but it's insignificant if she isn't responding to you. It's time to dump her and spend your energy where it's appreciated. Don't dwell on this friend. History is not enough to create a lasting bond, it only means just that—you and your friend have history—so let her be history!
- The Armchair Psychologist