Okay, so the headline says it all.
There's been a movement building steam over the last ten years or so, that actively promotes the idea that women don't have to have periods, that they are unnecessary, burdensome – and if you're not going to have a baby, why not just "turn off your period?"
Well, for one, it's called "menopause," and two, Mother Nature built it into the magnificence of women's bodies. And thirdly, they do stop, naturally, when the time is right.
Are you kidding me? If you could see me, you'd see that I look like one of Daenerys Targaryen's "children." This topic enrages me, and I hope by the end of this article, you'll be angry, too. We need to use our anger as a force for change around women's reproductive rights.
Let's tackle this idea from the standpoint of women's reproductive health and our right to live in a world that actually makes space for, and honors, our biology and the rights inherent in being women.
With all due respect to those who espouse this concept, I strongly disagree with the idea. Medical science (and primarily the pharmaceutical industry) makes women's bodies an experimental playground for new drugs, and it's always around our hormones, which are a rich and complex landscape within our bodies. I also want to clarify that when I say medical science, I am not maligning doctors in particular. They are part of a system of miseducation that is at the root of why women's reproductive health is at risk. But there are many western doctors turning to integrative medicine and working to help women heal from this system.
From the time we are young girls, before our first period, we are taught to fear it, to be ashamed of our blood, and to see it as a nuisance. When we are lead down that path, it becomes what we accept as truth. We are not taught another perspective, one which teaches young women that our menstrual cycle is connected to our psyches and that it's one of the best tools for self-understanding and awareness we will ever know. This is one aspect of my own teachings that I am very passionate about, and those teachings have changed many women's lives in my 20 years of doing this important work.
Instead, we are taught to bond over the pain, the discomfort, the mess, the moodiness.
But what if we had been taught to see our periods as a monthly opportunity to commune with ourselves and to turn within, to see it as a monthly opportunity to evaluate our lives and to clean up the messes that aren't aligned with who we are, and who we want to be?
Many, many years ago I read a book called, "The Woman in the Body," which was eye-opening about how our society and its systems have built into its structures, via language and industry, the exclusion of women's biological processes as a positive attribute in our lives. We go to extreme lengths to uphold Patriarchal ideas that don't make room for women's biological processes, instead of creating a new system that is inclusive of our biology. It's only been fairly recent that women are being accommodated to breastfeed at work.
I believe that we need to make similar accommodations for women's needs during our menstrual cycles, and it's not from a place of being handicapped because of our biology. It's our right. What's been done to women to make us feel bad about our natural processes is as institutionalized as racism, and because of that, we cannot see it, but it affects our lives daily.
Turning off your period is a dangerous idea. When the medical community tells women it's safe to do so; I urge you not to listen. It's designed to sell pharmaceuticals and make money. Women's bodies are the cash cows of that industry. I implore you to dig deep and do your own research. Question everything you hear.
Let's talk a little bit about why it's dangerous. Using hormonal birth control (BC) in one form or another is the medium for stopping your period. These hormones have been labeled safe, but use your judgment if you've been on BC or know women who have had massive issues while taking it. Have you ever read the package insert literature about all of the potential side effects? If you haven't, you should educate yourself by doing so. This is one of my foundational tenets, that information is power, and most women are not educated enough about their bodies – so we turn that power over to "experts."
In my overall life, health and sexuality coaching with women, I've worked with many over the years who have been on various kinds of BC; patches, DepoProvera (one of the worst), IUDs with additional hormones, and across the board have heard all of them say how badly they feel using these methods. Once they have transitioned off of them, they have said how much better they've felt.
Menstrual cycles are a 100% natural part of our reproductive biology. And instead of endorsing an idea that we should stop our periods, we should focus instead on changing society's treatment of women and fostering acceptance of our cycles. Our cycles and our psyches are interconnected. We should be taught to respect this part of our lives as women and how to use it as a life-enhancing tool.
Women have periods for a reason. Via societal messages and the medical community's promotion of our periods as a problem, we make the period the villain instead of the systems built around women that make our lives stressful, which has an impact on how we experience our periods and whether they are painful or empowering.
What do you think would happen if the pharmaceutical industry came out with a new medication that stopped men from making sperm? That would end unwanted pregnancies and the abortion controversy in large part. How well do you think that would go over?
So why is it okay to mess with women's biology and our hormone balance?
After a year or more of using hormonal BC consistently, here's what stopping your period amounts to: chemically induced menopause. Menopause is a year without periods because ovulation stops. Suppressing ovulation is the mechanism behind stopping pregnancy but also your period. No ovulation, no period. Unless you have other medical conditions, this is generally a true statement. When a woman goes through menopause, it's a natural condition. The body goes through a process that is as natural as your period is. But when you use BC to suppress ovulation and to suppress your period, you are doing something else that is not healthy for your body. You are suppressing your body's natural production of progesterone, which is made primarily in ovulation. A small amount is made by the adrenal glands, but the largest production is via ovulation. When you suppress ovulation, you create health risks by suppressing progesterone production. Progesterone is known to be beneficial for breast health, cardiovascular health, nervous system health, brain function, mood, and many other things.
Do not confuse progestins, which are synthetic and not molecularly identical, with natural progesterone. Many women I've worked with will say, "But my BC has progesterone in it," and I have to explain that they are not the same, nor do they affect the body the same. Whereas progesterone is beneficial, progestins are not. They were created by the pharmaceutical industry to mimic progesterone, but they do not react in the body the same way.
Instead of wishing your period away, I suggest you step into another world, one where your cycle is a source of female power and wisdom, and where your premenstrual phase is not mainstream PMS, but what I call Powerful Monthly Sight. It's a window into what's not serving you in your life, and when you take the time to slow down, turn inward, and connect with you, that inner wisdom offers you life solutions. When you align with your cycle this way, it becomes a source of power.
I'm a self-taught passionate advocate for women's health, reproductive rights, and sexuality. I see our menstrual cycle as something to celebrate, rather than do away with. What I would love to do is to go into every business that would invite me in to evaluate and offer suggestions on how to change the work climate to accommodate the needs of women in ways that honor our biology.
I hope this article made you angry enough to dig deeper. Please educate yourself and listen to your own inner wisdom, which includes your body wisdom. It's time for women to rise up and say enough already and to reclaim the beauty, wisdom, and power that is built into our biology.
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We are living in a time when women are rising to new heights which means they are regularly being confronted with the fear of being "too much". For women in business this is pervasive and costly.
A few ways women can be perceived as "too much" are:
Speaking up about their successes and achievements.
Sharing one too many photos of their cute kids.
Telling one too many people about that date night.
Looking a little too good in that swimsuit.
These can lead to being publicly attacked on social media or privately slandered which in turn leads to women dimming their light and walking on egg shells in hopes of avoiding conflict and judgement.
The minute a woman feels it's unsafe to shine she will begin to overthink, worry, and fear how she shows up in the world.
Forgetting to announce the book is done and the interview is live.
Choosing to focus on what's still on the to-do list rather than what's been checked off.
Many female entrepreneurs are subconsciously altering their behavior in an attempt to not attract too much attention to themselves, rather than focusing on allowing authenticity and magnetism to attract their ideal clients and community.
Women are afraid of being criticized, ostracized, and abandoned by other women for simply being who they are. This leads to quite the quantum when being who you are is simplest way to accelerate the growth of your business.
New research shows men are far more comfortable with self promotion than women are. Researchers found that men rate their own performance 33 percent higher than equally performing women. What we know is that self promotion pays off and this is where women are missing the boat.
The world needs more women to step into leadership roles and no longer be intimidated about creating six and seven figure careers.
Here are five ways to release the fear of being "too much":
1. Approve of yourself.
While it feels good to receive outside validation it will never be enough if you don't first appreciate yourself. The key to having a healthy support system is to make sure you are part of it. Being your biggest critic is what your mother's generation did. It's now time to be your biggest cheerleader. Becoming aware of self talk will reveal what belief is ready to be re-wired. Create a simply mantra that affirms how incredible capable you are.
2. Connect deeply to those you serve.
One powerful way to shift out of people pleasing behavior is to get clear on who actually matters to the wellbeing and success of your life and business. Leadership is not about being the most popular, instead it's a decision to be brave for those who can't be. Take a few minutes each day to visualize and meditate on those your business serves and supports. See your future clients moving toward you every time you choose to stand in your power and use your authentic voice.
3. Remember the legacy you wish to leave.
Having your life purpose and legacy in writing is one of the most transformational exercises you can do. Reading this often will keep you focused on what matters. Knowing what you wish to leave in the hearts of those you love most is incredibly grounding. You didn't come here to keep your mouth shut, dilute your truth, or dim your light-you came here to make a difference.
4. Forgive those who have been unsupportive in the past.
The past has a way of informing the future in a negative way when there is unresolved pain. Take a few minutes to get quiet and ask yourself who you have unforgiveness towards or maybe their name came to mind as you read this article. Listening to a forgiveness meditation or writing a letter to the person you are ready to forgive are both simple and effective ways to process and heal.
5. Be part a community of bright, successful women.
Meaningful relationships with others who have similar aspirations is what will keep you out of isolation and playing small. These connections can happen in a networking group, online community or a local Meetup. Thriving in every area of life is depend on you knowing where you belong and being celebrated there. Don't wait to be invited, go actively seek out people and places that support your dreams and desires.
6. Accept you can have it all.
Women have been fed a lie for generations that says, you can have love or money. Decide you can have it all and allow it to flow to you. You can have a successful career and an amazing mother. You can balance motherhood and loving marriage. Don't let anyone write the rules for you. This is the time to create the life you desire on your terms.
7. Celebrate everything!
The fastest way to leave the haters in the dust is to celebrate everything! At the end of each day lay in bed and recall the best moments. At the end of each week, publicly acknowledge and celebrate what's good in your life. Once a month, have a celebration dinner and share it with those who have helped you in the journey. If there's something good happening, talk about it with everyone who will listen!
May you be a woman who chooses to shine so that others may be reminded of all they can be and do.