Photo's Courtesy of Rachael Lee Stroud
Culture 23 March 2018
All my life, I thought I wanted to do one big thing. Kind of like Harper E. Lee: up until Go Set a Watchman, she was known for one big thing – To Kill a Mockingbird. One book. One bestseller. A perfect 1.00 batting average. There is something so tantalizing about one big thing: You get to dart into the national spotlight, do one perfect thing, then run away before you mess up that “perfect” performance, your spotless reputation. It’s the equivalent of a mic drop. Or how a stand-up comedian strives to leave on a high note.
When my invention of the Pussyhat took the world by storm – creating a Sea of Pink at the Women’s Marches, landing on the covers of Time magazine and The New Yorker, I thought that was my To Kill a Mockingbird, my One Big Thing.
I thought, maybe like you, that once I had a big success, I would be satisfied and everything I produced afterward would be easier. This was largely wrong. I found myself petrified to release my second project. But when the March for Our Lives was announced for March 24th, I was so moved by the bravery of these high school student activists, and I knew that it was time to launch my second craftivist project: The Evil Eye Glove. The four tips I share below are applicable whether you’re working on your first “freshman” project, your second “sophomore” project, or your 100th project and need some inspo.
1. Gather Your Friends
As I talk about in Chapter 1 of my book DIY Rules for a WTF World: How to Speak Up, Get Creative, and Change the World – everything changes. You are constantly shifting. Sometimes you will vibe big and powerful and sometimes you will be small and intimate and cozy, and sometimes, you will be in between- medium-sized, curious. Identify your friends who love you whether you are big or small. And seek them out.
At the time the Pussyhat spread like pink wildfire, my best friend MILCK sang her song “Quiet” and it went viral at the March. I was a lucky duck who had a fellow artist friend to talk to who was going through the same thing! We check in with each other all the time, and early on, she shared with me some advice she had gotten, which I will paraphrase here:
A man who has just succeeded at the peak of the mountain and a man who has just failed at the bottom of a ditch are in the same place – “What to do next?”
So whether you’re feeling on top of the world or feeling rock bottom, take solace in that you’re not alone. Seek out friends and let them remind you how valuable you are even without your accomplishments, whether it is One Big Thing or Several Pretty Good Things – it doesn’t matter, because your accomplishments are not you.
2. Separate Yourself from Your Reputation – Then Destroy It
Get to know the “you” that is not your accomplishments. If you don’t know what I mean, that means you’re really tied to your accomplishments. Gently unravel yourself from your accomplishments by taking “personal inventory.” Check out Chapter 15 in DIY Rules for a WTF World called “Find Yourself Fascinating: A Personal Inventory.” One of my favorite Personal Inventory exercises is the “Chick Lit Heroine Exercise” in which you fill in a Mad Libs-like form to get the synopsis of the thrilling adventure story that is you. You’ll find that what makes the storybook character of you interesting is not your accomplishments but your personality, your drive, your foibles, your quirks.
Once you get reacquainted with this fascinating REAL You, take a look at the Reputed You – the one with all the accomplishments, and know you get to play with it, you can mold the Reputed You however you want, for fun and you can always start again when you get bored. A woman’s right to choose goes far beyond just reproductive rights.
We have the right to choose how we look at ourselves, and how we want to play with our reputations. Our reputations are our playthings, we are not the playthings of our reputations.
Run from what's comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. -Rumi
Take a page out of Rumi’s book and Destroy Your Reputation.
3. Dance with the One Who Brung Ya
When I nurtured the Pussyhat into being, I followed my intuition, which led me to make surprising choices. The Pussyhat became a big success. My intuition was like my hot date who brought me (and the Pussyhat) to a grand ball! Why would I dance with someone else, like say, Patriarchal “Take the Hard Way” Rationality, when Hot Intuition was my date?
When it came time to launch my second craftivist project The Evil Eye Glove, the tug of Patriarchy “Take the Hard Way” Rationality was strong, and I almost gave in, but I’m so glad that it didn’t feel right, and I immediately understood that I needed to trust the intuition that brought me success in the first place.
Like the Pussyhat, the Evil Eye Glove was born of intuition – it came to me in a dream – a huge peaceful gathering of women with their hands raised – on each hand was a painted eye – it was a Sea of Eyes. Just as the Pussyhat created a sea of pink, the evil eye gloves create a sea of eyes.
After the Pussyhat debuted at the Women’s March, I put the step by step instructions on how to make the Evil Eye Glove into my book DIY Rules, ready to go. I was waiting for the right moment to launch the Evil Eye Glove into full craftivist action, and I got nervous and antsy. I chided myself for sitting on it, for being “lazy” but ultimately, I am so glad I waited because when the March for Our Lives was announced, my intuition knew it was time.
So wherever you are in your career, look back on the successes you’ve had and honor what brought you to those successes. And if intuition is a key ingredient to what brought you those successes, I suggest you keep dancing with it.
Look at the that “success ingredient list” and decide which ingredients you still want to use – perhaps you had a vendor who helped make you successful but your heart thuds to your stomach when you imagine working with them again – feel free to take that ingredient out! But also let yourself be inspired by the ingredients that worked and still excite you. For example, with the Evil Eye Glove, I worked again with Kat Coyle who made the pattern for the Pussyhat, and I worked with Aurora Lady who did all the drawings for the Pussyhat manifesto. Kat made a new pattern for the Evil Eye Glove, and Aurora Lady did gorgeous drawings in less than 24 hours. I also reached out to the people behind the Pussyhat success – the knitters and women’s rights supporters across the land who knitted up a storm! - and asked them to get behind my sophomore project if it was something they believed in. They responded hugely! Check out the hashtag #evileyeglove on Instagram to see what I mean – a huge diversity of gloves. You can also check out the map of evil eye glove makers across the world on my website – people are making them in Maine and in Morocco, Boise and Bangkok, it’s phenomenal! And you can join in by making a custom commitment on the website and then making some super easy evil eye gloves solo or with your besties.
4. Don’t Rank Your Children – Connect with Them
Your creations are like your children, and you’ll probably have many in your life. Just like with real kids, don’t set them against each other in competition. Can you imagine having 2 adorable young daughters, dressing them alike, and doing a “Who Wore It Better” Poll on Instagram? So hurtful! So why do you do that with your projects? Instead of comparing and ranking your children, connect with them, find what makes them tick, what they love, where they thrive. And nurture them.
Whenever I compared the Pussyhat and the Evil Eye Glove, I got really freaked out and totally unproductive. But when I loved each project like my children, I got SO excited for them. They are sisters and they love each other, but they’re also different beings with different life plans. And that’s exciting! The Pussyhat is the sassy welcoming older sister who blares her personality out wherever she goes and creates community – she loves a good party! The Evil Eye Glove is the younger sister who is wry and mysterious, and chooses when to show herself, she is super expressive because she is on the hands (all the gestures the evil eye glove can make! For example, put out your hand in a “stop” gesture and with a slight bend, your hand is then in a gesture of blessings) – she is flexible and her goal is to be watchful and protective (the evil eye is ancient symbol of protection).
Try anthropomorphizing your projects into human beings that are your children. Describe their personalities. What they’re good at, how they like to have a good time. You’ll find that you are proud of them, and want to brainstorm ways for each of your projects to have a good time, each in their own way! Listen to each project and see what they need; just like with children, a younger project might not thrive with the same treatment of an older project, listen and find out!
Now, instead of chasing after One Big Thing (and then feeling tied down preserving and memorializing it), I think of my life’s work as One Big Happy Growing Family. Try thinking of your projects the same way. And remember, you’re the head of this One Big Happy Growing Family, so be sure to be kind to yourself along the way, Mama needs nurturing too! Good luck!
3 Min Read
I am a proud Black business owner carrying a line of lip colors for the woman who wants to shine. At Vatarie Cosmetics you can find cruelty-free and vegan lip care products, including clear lip gloss and liquid matte lipsticks. The line is still under development, so there are more products in the making that you'll hear more about soon!
My products are high-quality and it is my dream to take my brand into high-end storefronts across the nation and even across the globe.
I have worked my way into my entrepreneurial career as I did not come from money. The goal of my cosmetic line is to bring excitement to everyone who tries the line. My products are high-quality and it is my dream to take my brand into high-end storefronts across the nation and even across the globe. I believe that with added makeup and a good set of threads, anybody can confidently face the world. I am a proud and firm supporter of the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement and a proud member and supporter of the LGBTQIA community.
There have been plenty of hardships that I have had to face throughout my entire life, the most recent being the recent death of my father who passed far too soon. I have never allowed these hardships to deter me, and won't start now. I will continue to progress and work hard to build my business, knowing that this is what my father would have wanted.
About the Vatarie Line: What It's All About
Upon launching the line, I had the mission of inspiring every human to find their inner beauty and to have fun along the way. With this in mind, my products are designed for people of all genders, races, religions, and creeds. The Vatarie line will have more to offer customers very soon as I am continually working on developing products and expanding the line. In addition to the lip colors currently offered, the line will soon include highlighters, eyeshadows, and new lip gloss additions.
I believe that no one needs makeup to validate themselves, and we are all beautiful on our own. I do believe, though, that makeup can make life a lot more fun. Now more than ever we are living in a world where there is so much sadness and darkness. Sometimes all we need to change our moods and get away from that darkness is something to help us feel better and more vibrant — this is where a pop of makeup and a well put together outfit can really make an impact.
Now more than ever we are living in a world where there is so much sadness and darkness.
I encourage everybody to embrace their inner beauty and inner style, and express themselves no matter what. My line of products is inspired by high fashion and designed to make a bold statement. The running theme across my products is empowerment at every stage and level. I create products that make my customers feel happy, and I ensure I am happy myself with my products before I release every single one. There is no place for cutting corners as I believe in producing the highest quality product.
I bring my sense of humor and quirky personality into my products and you can see this in the names of each item. Take the lip color "Blood Money," which signifies all the money, tears, sweat, and yes, blood that was put into the brand. Let me tell you, it was hard work, and it still is hard work, but at the end of the day, it fulfills me to know the type of quality I am providing. It gives me great pride to create a line of legendary products that will positively affect someone and bring them to a place of self-love and acceptance.
About the Past that Gives My Business Meaning
I have struggled over the years with mental abuse that has left me feeling as if "I wasn't enough." Added to that, being a Black woman in an industry that is predominantly dominated by other races, I had to work harder to get to where I am today.
Coming from a broken home, my family struggled with addiction, making my entire childhood a miserable nightmare. My mother abandoned us as she was being physically abused, and it was up to us the kids to do everything necessary to take care of the home and each other. We eventually ended up living with my grandmother in Miami, Florida. At a very young age, I had to endure physical and mental abuse and was locked up. At the age of 22, I lost my younger sister to gun violence and found myself raising her one-year-old son as my own.
Being a Black woman in an industry that is predominantly dominated by other races, I had to work harder to get to where I am today.
While my past was a rough one, it is what has made me the strong, independent, and vibrant woman I am today. That woman strives to be her best every day and works tirelessly to provide a line of only the best cosmetics products. I couldn't see this while I was living through those bad situations and struggling to grow up, but I can look back and see how I was made more resilient because of my hardships.
As I grieve over my father's recent passing, I become stronger. It is this added personal strength that will push me forward in everything I do and will be reflected in my work ethic and in the development of new products for my Vatarie line of cosmetics.