#SWAAYthenarrative

The Lost Art of Communication in the Digital Age: How to Make Space for Real Conversation

4min read
Culture

I've spent most of my time on this planet all wrapped up in the wonders of the human voice, so it's probably no surprise that I resisted digital technology in a big way. I was what you might call a very late adopter, a laggard, and at times a militant rebel, against all things digital. While practically everyone around me jumped on the technology train with glee years ago, I had no trouble curbing my enthusiasm back then. It wasn't merely because I am technologically challenged in general, or quite a latecomer to typing, which I forced myself to finally learn only recently when I was writing my memoir, "Finding the Bunny" (Voice Haven Productions, 2018; optioned by Warner Bros. for development into a television series, 2019).


My longstanding "digital disdain" mostly can be traced back to my unwavering loyalty to the spoken word as the ultimate connector of people, both as sender (speaker) and receiver (listener). Over my lifetime, I have revered all that the human voice can do to impart meaning and authenticity, emotion and truth, individuality and intention. I revel in the "perfect imperfections" within each of us, as expressed through the voices that help make us who we are and give us a unique passport as citizens of the world. Understanding these deceptively simple truths is what separates the good voice actors from the great ones.

While I wholeheartedly agree with the saying, "The eyes are a window to the soul," I further suggest that the voice grants access to an individual's inner being as well. So the touch of your fingertips on your mobile device, even with a full array of emojis and trending GIFs at hand, can't even come close to conveying all the really "good stuff" that we as people have to offer.

Yes, I am biased. Since I was a teenager, I've made a living using my voice, learning to master all of the characteristics, colors and nuances as a voice actor.

For more than three decades following my early career, I've been passionately teaching others how to harness the power and authenticity that lies within the vocal tract. I love helping people discover how to find their true voices in art and in life…and trust me, that cannot be accessed through texting!

Granted, it's my profession as a voice actor and an educator, but it's also how I choose to move in the world as a human being—by talking to people and listening carefully to what they have to say and how they say it.

I am fiercely protective over the singular role and value of our true voices as a way of authentically expressing ourselves and connecting with others in a way that a digital exchange just can't match. Ever.

The reality is, the two-way process of communicating with others through conversation is an art form, and a dying one at that, due largely to the overshadowing presence of our devices constantly within reach, glance or earshot, all too often serving as a handy little substitute for real interpersonal communication.

It grieves me to no end to see how far we've drifted from real conversation, let alone artful conversation, at a time when people are more likely than not to shoot out a rapid-fire series of texts or an emoji explosion for all kinds of interactions—from mundane exchanges to a friendly touch-base or happy birthday wishes, playful teasing, petty or recurring arguments, or even sharing news, joys or sorrows over major life events.

Through all this, we are getting out of practice playing conversational catch, and we are picking up new (and not-so-good) habits that derive from our modern-day tools. Those little digital devils can lure us into communicating with people in a way that doesn't necessarily reflect who we really are or what we are really thinking. Where's that telling tone of voice? What about the all-revealing vocal inflection and cadences and breathing patterns that reveal so much about where someone is coming from? When communicating through keystrokes, we can miss a whole lot, and we may be getting a distorted picture with words that would never be fired out in such a manner in person or on the phone.

We can hide behind our technology, and get a false sense of security from it. Knowingly or not, our digital exchanges with others may become a click too curt or clever, inauthentic, glib, cavalier, silly, falsely intimate, and so on. Many a text or email exchange would probably not happen the way they actually did if people sat face-to-face, looking at each other in the eye in person or virtually, or listening intently through the phone.

Don't get me wrong; it's not all bad. I certainly appreciate the ease, convenience and freedom that technology can give us. There is a time and a place for a quickie digital touchpoint, no doubt. In our busy, mobile and often-overcommitted lives, having tech that helps you live your life is, for the most part, fantastic. I've certainly come around to recognize when the situation calls for an e-response and when it calls for a "me-response." Part of the dance is knowing what to use, and when.

All that said, our now-pervasive digital communications culture seems to have hampered the collective ability to hold a sustained real conversation, whether it's face-to-face or on the telephone, or virtually through video conferencing. A natural give-and take conversation happening in real time, seems to have become a memorable or special exception rather than the rule. And this does not just apply to digital natives who have only known electronic communications as a way of daily life. Now people of all ages and stages of life are part of a new tapestry that reveals how much we have changed in the way we interact with one another on an everyday basis.

With our smart devices well in hand, we can easily edit ourselves to present a carefully constructed communique, that perfectly created response which may have been tweaked a few times before hitting send on the email or text or social media post. As we all know, you can't edit yourself like that when you are conversing with someone face-to-face at a coffee house or on a walk or on the telephone or in a conference room. In real life, in real time, you get to be yourself, you have to be yourself, otherwise it will be detected, and people will react genuinely to what's in front of them. Ironically, in the end, we will be better off because of the realness of it all, because we can then become more aware of ourselves and others, more sensitive, more careful, more thoughtful, more fully human. We are somewhat shielded from this key process when we opt out of real-time conversation.

So, for those who feel the negative effects of technology, and feel conversationally short-changed, what can be done?

Here are three ideas to consider:

  1. Make space for real conversation. Set aside time every day for real conversations without a digital device within reach or earshot (in fact, keep your device turned off and put away for best results). Stay present in that conversation as a good communications partner, both as giver and receiver. Savor the experience, and do it more regularly and with more people in your life.
  2. Choose the right communications medium for the job. Next time you need to communicate a message to a family member, friend, co-worker, acquaintance, or someone else in your life, ask yourself, what's the best communications medium for this job? Would a phone call be more effective than a text? Is an in-person exchange more appropriate for this situation? Can a text convey the full measure of what needs to be said? Choose the right medium for delivering your message with care and precision. Your choice may depend upon the person you need to communicate with, the nature of the message itself, the time of day and other circumstances, so think about it, and act accordingly. Notice the differences that may arise when you text, place a phone call, make a personal visit or send an email.
  3. Stretch your conversational muscles and practice. Practice the art of conversation with people you know and don't know. Next time you're with a loved one, a friend or associate, bring up some new conversational topics and see what happens (again, without any devices within easy reach or earshot). Next time you are in a public setting, social occasion or business gathering, strike up a conversation with someone you don't know. Practice the art of conversation through attentive listening and purposeful sharing, like playing catch with an easy back-and-forth dynamic. Enjoy the process and see how you are getting back to the rhythms and grooves of interpersonal communications.

I'd love to hear how these ideas work for you and find out about any other ideas from you. If you are so inclined, pick up the phone and guess what? Call me…I am serious!

My telephone number is listed on the Voicetrax San Francisco website, www.voicetraxsf.com. Our whole team is always thrilled to answer the phone, so please call us if you are interested: after all, we're voice actors…and there's nothing we love more than the spoken word coming from human beings.

Let's have a conversation!

3 Min Read
Health

7 Must-have Tips to Keep You Healthy and Fit for the Unpredictable COVID Future

With a lack of certainty surrounding the future, being and feeling healthy may help bring the security that you need during these unpredictable times.

When it comes to your health, there is a direct relationship between nutrition and physical activity that play an enormous part in physical, mental, and social well-being. As COVID-19 continues to impact almost every aspect of our lives, the uncertainty of the future may seem looming. Sometimes improvisation is necessary, and understanding how to stay healthy and fit can significantly help you manage your well-being during these times.

Tip 1: Communicate with your current wellness providers and set a plan

Gyms, group fitness studios, trainers, and professionals can help you to lay out a plan that will either keep you on track through all of the changes and restrictions or help you to get back on the ball so that all of your health objectives are met.

Most facilities and providers are setting plans to provide for their clients and customers to accommodate the unpredictable future. The key to remaining consistent is to have solid plans in place. This means setting a plan A, plan B, and perhaps even a plan C. An enormous amount is on the table for this coming fall and winter; if your gym closes again, what is your plan? If outdoor exercising is not an option due to the weather, what is your plan? Leaving things to chance will significantly increase your chances of falling off of your regimen and will make consistency a big problem.

The key to remaining consistent is to have solid plans in place. This means setting a plan A, plan B, and perhaps even a plan C.

Tip 2: Stay active for both mental and physical health benefits

The rise of stress and anxiety as a result of the uncertainty around COVID-19 has affected everyone in some way. Staying active by exercising helps alleviate stress by releasing chemicals like serotonin and endorphins in your brain. In turn, these released chemicals can help improve your mood and even reduce risk of depression and cognitive decline. Additionally, physical activity can help boost your immune system and provide long term health benefits.

With the new work-from-home norm, it can be easy to bypass how much time you are spending sedentary. Be aware of your sitting time and balance it with activity. Struggling to find ways to stay active? Start simple with activities like going for a walk outside, doing a few reps in exchange for extra Netflix time, or even setting an alarm to move during your workday.

Tip 3: Start slow and strong

If you, like many others during the pandemic shift, have taken some time off of your normal fitness routine, don't push yourself to dive in head first, as this may lead to burnout, injury, and soreness. Plan to start at 50 percent of the volume and intensity of prior workouts when you return to the gym. Inactivity eats away at muscle mass, so rather than focusing on cardio, head to the weights or resistance bands and work on rebuilding your strength.

Be aware of your sitting time and balance it with activity.

Tip 4: If your gym is open, prepare to sanitize

In a study published earlier this year, researchers found drug-resistant bacteria, the flu virus, and other pathogens on about 25 percent of the surfaces they tested in multiple athletic training facilities. Even with heightened gym cleaning procedures in place for many facilities, if you are returning to the gym, ensuring that you disinfect any surfaces before and after using them is key.

When spraying disinfectant, wait a few minutes to kill the germs before wiping down the equipment. Also, don't forget to wash your hands frequently. In an enclosed space where many people are breathing heavier than usual, this can allow for a possible increase in virus droplets, so make sure to wear a mask and practice social distancing. Staying in the know and preparing for new gym policies will make it easy to return to these types of facilities as protocols and mutual respect can be agreed upon.

Tip 5: Have a good routine that extends outside of just your fitness

From work to working out, many routines have faltered during the COVID pandemic. If getting back into the routine seems daunting, investing in a new exercise machine, trainer, or small gadget can help to motivate you. Whether it's a larger investment such as a Peloton, a smaller device such as a Fitbit, or simply a great trainer, something new and fresh is always a great stimulus and motivator.

Make sure that when you do wake up well-rested, you are getting out of your pajamas and starting your day with a morning routine.

Just because you are working from home with a computer available 24/7 doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your entire day to work. Setting work hours, just as you would in the office, can help you to stay focused and productive.

A good night's sleep is also integral to obtaining and maintaining a healthy and effective routine. Adults need seven or more hours of sleep per night for their best health and wellbeing, so prioritizing your sleep schedule can drastically improve your day and is an important factor to staying healthy. Make sure that when you do wake up well-rested, you are getting out of your pajamas and starting your day with a morning routine. This can help the rest of your day feel normal while the uncertainty of working from home continues.

Tip 6: Focus on food and nutrition

In addition to having a well-rounded daily routine, eating at scheduled times throughout the day can help decrease poor food choices and unhealthy cravings. Understanding the nutrients that your body needs to stay healthy can help you stay more alert, but they do vary from person to person. If you are unsure of your suggested nutritional intake, check out a nutrition calculator.

If you are someone that prefers smaller meals and more snacks throughout the day, make sure you have plenty of healthy options, like fruits, vegetables and lean proteins available (an apple a day keeps the hospital away). While you may spend most of your time from home, meal prepping and planning can make your day flow easier without having to take a break to make an entire meal in the middle of your work day. Most importantly, stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water.

Tip 7: Don't forget about your mental health

While focusing on daily habits and routines to improve your physical health is important, it is also a great time to turn inward and check in with yourself. Perhaps your anxiety has increased and it's impacting your work or day-to-day life. Determining the cause and taking proactive steps toward mitigating these occurrences are important.

For example, with the increase in handwashing, this can also be a great time to practice mini meditation sessions by focusing on taking deep breaths. This can reduce anxiety and even lower your blood pressure. Keeping a journal and writing out your daily thoughts or worries can also help manage stress during unpredictable times, too.

While the future of COVI9-19 and our lives may be unpredictable, you can manage your personal uncertainties by focusing on improving the lifestyle factors you can control—from staying active to having a routine and focusing on your mental health—to make sure that you emerge from this pandemic as your same old self or maybe even better.