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30 Signs You’re An Adult… Or In Denial About It

Lifestyle

If you were born in the 80s or 90s, the prospect of “adulthood" is ever on the horizon. But when do you officially cross the river Hades and begin the concurrent numerical-ascent and physical-descent into its imminent grasp?


Well, just like its younger sibling “puberty," this next stage of our lives can vary from person to person. But the telltale signs that you've reached the adulting threshold are there.

Ironically, there are 30 of them, and they're listed below.

"You literally just stop caring. Especially about what others think."

30 Signs You're an Adult… Or in Denial About It

1. You've fallen asleep in full makeup and clothing on a Saturday night.

With the lights on.

2. Your new [vacuum cleaner] is your favorite purchase of the year so far.

Feel free to substitute: blender, knife set, steamer, space heater, or pots-and-pans here.

If you're an Adult-in-Denial (AiD): a PlayStation console.

3. You've napped in your car on your lunch break to recover from a night out.

And have a strategy (like a blanket or hoodie left in your back seat) to do so more effectively.

4. You smile when they ask for your ID at a bar.

Instead of silently rehearsing your fake birthday and birthplace.

“Millie Thompson, June 3rd, 1986… I mean 1987."

5. You treat your pet like your child… because all of your friends have children.

Everyone knows someone in daycare.

6. The definition of “Coke" changes from a soda to a drug, or vice-versa.

But you need at least one of them to stay awake these days.

7. Your idea of “recreational drugs" are now just prescription drugs for which you have no prescription.

And you're old enough to have binge-watched “Intervention" when it was still on the air.

8. You floss. Like, daily. Sometimes even at work.

And are shameless when your coworkers walk in on you doing it

9. You pay extra to shop online from your couch rather than interact with humans.

And refuse to order anything on Amazon that's not Prime. #FreeShippingOrBust

10. You've caught yourself discussing the economy and real estate markets at parties… with people who are willing and interested.

There was probably a cheese plate involved. Even though you tell people you're “lactose intolerant."

11. You literally just stop caring. Especially about what others think.

And choose to live in a world where “sweatpants" are just called “pants."

12. Espresso makes you poop within the hour.

You also have a list of other natural laxatives lying around your place.

13. You actually get ready for bed, and make sure you get enough sleep to function the next day.

Refer to item #3 for what happens if you don't get your full eight hours.

19. The word “Colonoscopy" suddenly enters your vocabulary.

And you've probably found reviews and Groupons for the best place to get one done.

14. You no longer count the free snacks at work as a “full meal."

And have voiced a strong opinion on which foods they keep in stock. Because you've probably “developed an intolerance" to one of the ingredients, and want everyone to be aware of it.

15. You always bring a dish or drink with you when you visit a friend's place.

You used to wonder who shopped at your local grocery store bakery. Now, you bring festive cookies everywhere you go.

16. You start calling your friend's parents by their first names, instead of Mr./Mrs.

And they're now comfortable sharing what was really going on in your neighborhood, especially during birthday parties.

17. It takes you 2 hours to get drunk... and 2 days to recover.

But by now you've mastered the science experiment of hydration + electrolytes + active charcoal to avoid the inevitable hangover.

18. You buy ice cream whenever you want… and can afford to pay for the good stuff.

Most likely on a Friday night to complement your Netflix date and lack of fucks.

"You realize that you can no longer do math without a calculator."

20. You've injured yourself while simply sleeping or stretching.

On numerous, separate occasions. Like when you “bent over wrong to tie your shoe" last week.

21. You now refer to it as “adult" acne.

Subliminally, of course.

22. You no longer share one Netflix account with everyone you know.

But most likely have to keep instructing your parents on how to use it.

23. You pay your taxes on-time. Without your parents reminding you.

Though you might call them for advice just in case.

24. You realize that you can no longer do math without a calculator.

And have forgotten literally everything else they taught you in middle school. How do you even use a protractor in real life?

25. You drive around nice neighborhoods just to admire houses from the outside.

Just like your parents did before you.

26. You find random dark hairs on your face and body.

Which you pay other people good money to deal with removing.

27. You pride yourself on upgrading from shopping at Forever 21 to Zara.

Although you're “Forever 21" at heart… am I right

28. You find ways to justify “sleeping" and “eating" as hobbies.

Yelp is not an activity people. But is sleep?

29. You seriously get down with meditation.

And have probably fallen asleep once or twice while doing it.

30. You realize you're not what you “thought you would be when you grew up."

And there's no more time to do something about it.

Culture

Why Whiskey Should No Longer Be Categorized As “A Man’s Drink”

I walk into a room full of men and I know exactly what they're thinking: "What does she know about whisky?"


I know this because many men have asked me that same question from the moment I started my career in spirits a decade ago.

In a male-dominated industry, I realized early on that I would always have to work harder than my male counterparts to prove my credibility, ability and knowledge in order to earn the trust of leadership stakeholders, coworkers, vendors and even consumers of our products. I am no stranger to hard work and appreciate that everyone needs to prove their worth when starting any career or role. What struck me however, was how the recognition and opportunities seemed to differ between genders. Women usually had to prove themselves before they were accepted and promoted ("do the work first and earn it"), whereas men often were more easily accepted and promoted on future potential. It seemed like their credibility was automatically and immediately assumed. Regardless of the challenges and adversity I faced, my focus was on proving my worth within the industry, and I know many other women were doing the same.

Thankfully, the industry has advanced in the last few years since those first uncomfortable meetings. The rooms I walk into are no longer filled with just men, and perceptions are starting to change significantly. There are more women than ever before making, educating, selling, marketing and conceptualizing whiskies and spirits of all kinds. Times are changing for the better and it's benefitting the industry overall, which is exciting to see.

For me, starting a career in the spirits business was a happy accident. Before spirits, I had worked in the hospitality industry and on the creative agency side. That background just happened to be what a spirits company was looking for at the time and thus began my journey in the industry. I was lucky that my gender did not play a deciding role in the hiring process, as I know that might not have been the case for everyone at that time.

Now, ten plus years later, I am fortunate to work for and lead one of the most renowned and prestigious Whisky brands in the world.. What was once an accident now feels like my destiny. The talent and skill that goes into the whisky-making process is what inspired me to come back and live and breathe those brands as if they were my own. It gave me a deep understanding and appreciation of an industry that although quite large, still has an incredible amount of handmade qualities and a specific and meticulous craft I have not seen in any other industry before. Of course, my journey has not been without challenges, but those obstacles have only continued to light my passion for the industry.

The good news is, we're on the right track. When you look at how many females hold roles in the spirits industry today compared to what it looked like 15 years ago, there has been a significant increase in both the number of women working and the types of roles women are hired for. From whisky makers and distillers to brand ambassadors and brand marketers, we're seeing more women in positions of influence and more spirits companies willing to stand up and provide a platform for women to make an impact. Many would likely be surprised to learn that one of our team's Whisky Makers is a woman. They might even be more surprised to learn that women, with a heightened sense of smell compared to our male counterparts, might actually be a better fit for the role! We're nowhere near equality, but the numbers are certainly improving.

It was recently reported by the Distilled Spirits Council that women today represent a large percentage of whisky drinkers and that has helped drive U.S. sales of distilled spirits to a record high in 2017. Today, women represent about 37% of the whisky drinkers in the United States, which is a large increase compared to the 1990s when a mere 15% of whisky drinkers were women. As for what's causing this change? I believe it's a mix of the acceptance of women to hold roles within the spirits industry partnered with thoughtful programs and initiatives to engage with female consumers.

While whisky was previously known for being a man's drink, reserved for after-dinner cigars behind closed doors, it is now out in the open and accessible for women to learn about and enjoy too.

What was once subculture is now becoming the norm and women are really breaking through and grabbing coveted roles in the spirits business. That said, it's up to the industry as a whole to continue to push it forward. When you work for a company that values diversity, you're afforded the opportunity to be who you are and let that benefit your business. Working under the model that the best brand initiatives come from passionate groups of people with diverse backgrounds, we are able to offer different points of view and challenge our full team to bring their best work forward, which in turn creates better experiences for our audience. We must continue to diversify the industry and break against the status quo if we really want to continue evolving.

While we've made great strides as an industry, there is still a lot of work to be done. To make a change and finally achieve gender equality in the workplace, both men and women need to stand behind the cause as we are better collectively as a balanced industry. We have proved that we have the ability to not only meet the bar, but to also raise it - now we just need everyone else to catch up.