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30 Signs You're An Adult (Or In Denial)

Lifestyle

If you were born in the 80s or 90s, the prospect of “adulthood" is ever on the horizon. But when do you officially cross the river Hades and begin the concurrent numerical-ascent and physical-descent into its imminent grasp?


Well, just like its younger sibling “puberty," this next stage of our lives can vary from person to person. But the telltale signs that you've reached the adulting threshold are there.

Ironically, there are 30 of them, and they're listed below.

30 Signs You're an Adult… Or in Denial About It

1. You've fallen asleep in full makeup and clothing on a Saturday night.

With the lights on.

2. Your new [vacuum cleaner] is your favorite purchase of the year so far.

Feel free to substitute: blender, knife set, steamer, space heater, or pots-and-pans here.

If you're an Adult-in-Denial (AiD): a PlayStation console.

3. You've napped in your car on your lunch break to recover from a night out.

And have a strategy (like a blanket or hoodie left in your back seat) to do so more effectively.

4. You smile when they ask for your ID at a bar.

Instead of silently rehearsing your fake birthday and birthplace.

“Millie Thompson, June 3rd, 1986… I mean 1987."

5. You treat your pet like your child… because all of your friends have children.

Everyone knows someone in daycare.

6. The definition of “Coke" changes from a soda to a drug, or vice-versa.

But you need at least one of them to stay awake these days.

7. Your idea of “recreational drugs" are now just prescription drugs for which you have no prescription.

And you're old enough to have binge-watched “Intervention" when it was still on the air.

8. You floss. Like, daily. Sometimes even at work.

And are shameless when your coworkers walk in on you doing it

9. You pay extra to shop online from your couch rather than interact with humans.

And refuse to order anything on Amazon that's not Prime. #FreeShippingOrBust

10. You've caught yourself discussing the economy and real estate markets at parties… with people who are willing and interested.

There was probably a cheese plate involved. Even though you tell people you're “lactose intolerant."

11. You literally just stop caring. Especially about what others think.

And choose to live in a world where “sweatpants" are just called “pants."

12. Espresso makes you poop within the hour.

You also have a list of other natural laxatives lying around your place.

13. You actually get ready for bed, and make sure you get enough sleep to function the next day.

Refer to item #3 for what happens if you don't get your full eight hours.

19. The word “Colonoscopy" suddenly enters your vocabulary.

And you've probably found reviews and Groupons for the best place to get one done.

14. You no longer count the free snacks at work as a “full meal."

And have voiced a strong opinion on which foods they keep in stock. Because you've probably “developed an intolerance" to one of the ingredients, and want everyone to be aware of it.

15. You always bring a dish or drink with you when you visit a friend's place.

You used to wonder who shopped at your local grocery store bakery. Now, you bring festive cookies everywhere you go.

16. You start calling your friend's parents by their first names, instead of Mr./Mrs.

And they're now comfortable sharing what was really going on in your neighborhood, especially during birthday parties.

17. It takes you 2 hours to get drunk... and 2 days to recover.

But by now you've mastered the science experiment of hydration + electrolytes + active charcoal to avoid the inevitable hangover.

18. You buy ice cream whenever you want… and can afford to pay for the good stuff.

Most likely on a Friday night to complement your Netflix date and lack of fucks.

20. You've injured yourself while simply sleeping or stretching.

On numerous, separate occasions. Like when you “bent over wrong to tie your shoe" last week.

21. You now refer to it as “adult" acne.

Subliminally, of course.

22. You no longer share one Netflix account with everyone you know.

But most likely have to keep instructing your parents on how to use it.

23. You pay your taxes on-time. Without your parents reminding you.

Though you might call them for advice just in case.

24. You realize that you can no longer do math without a calculator.

And have forgotten literally everything else they taught you in middle school. How do you even use a protractor in real life?

25. You drive around nice neighborhoods just to admire houses from the outside.

Just like your parents did before you.

26. You find random dark hairs on your face and body.

Which you pay other people good money to deal with removing.

27. You pride yourself on upgrading from shopping at Forever 21 to Zara.

Although you're “Forever 21" at heart… am I right

28. You find ways to justify “sleeping" and “eating" as hobbies.

Yelp is not an activity people. But is sleep?

29. You seriously get down with meditation.

And have probably fallen asleep once or twice while doing it.

30. You realize you're not what you “thought you would be when you grew up."

And there's no more time to do something about it.

2 Min Read
Business

How I Built My Business From The Side Of My Daughter's Hospital Bed

It all started when I began documenting my daughter's 436-day hospital stay on Instagram.

She was a perfectly healthy 3-year-old and out of nowhere had a ruptured appendix made worse by a failed immune system. Sepsis began to consume her body and talking about it on social media was my way to cope with the fear of the unknown.

The doctors saved her life that night in January of 2018, but it was touch and go for a while until the doctors decided she was ready for a bone marrow transplant.

By then my daughter Theresa and our family had gained attention locally and nationally because of the rarity of her disorder. It doesn't even have a name. People would comment day and night on my Instagram posts wanting updates about how she was doing and wanting to see her on video.

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436+ days in the hospital with Theresa taught me how to prepare to be productive during shelter in place . When you really couldn't go anywhere often while in the hospital . Not like there was anywhere TO GO... just waiting day in and day out for answers that took a long while . Didn't want to venture out much because didn't want to get Theresa sick . It feels VERY similar to now. Little within your control no matter how much you'd panic and worry . You realize you can see this as an opportunity for growth or an opportunity to let fear and worry consume you . . Let me give you my best advice on how to tackle shelter in place, from someone who gets it all too well . . 1️⃣ Develop your new routine: some may say to keep your normal routine but chances are we've gotta adapt things, like training schedules and coaching calls to fit with the fact the kiddos are home 😅 . 2️⃣ Fill your cup first: get an iced latte, take a walk, take a nap, whatever you gotta go to feel your best before you pour into working on your new project or content . 3️⃣ communicate: talk to your spouse and kiddos and ask for their support in your balancing life, family and work. Ask what they need from you right now and share how they can best support you . 4️⃣ Create as much as you consume: it's easy to get sucked into scrolling and the next thing you know the sun has set ☀️ set a timer ⏱ to step away from your tiktok for you page (just me? 😂😂) to write an email or post to your IG feed . 5️⃣ dont try to do it all alone: it's a crazy time and your feelings are valid. You don't have to navigate this by yourself. Ask for help, reach out... you know I always have your back❤️. . . Comment below: what are you up to this weekend?
A post shared by Kayla - LAUNCHING EXPERT (@kaylaybanez) on Mar 21, 2020 at 4:04pm PDT

It was in the Fall of 2018 when people started to ask me how I was doing certain things on Instagram. I didn't realize how good I had become at utilizing hashtags, posting easily digestible content and building up a loyal community around my daughter's journey to health.

I realized that the months I spent learning everything I could about using Instagram the way I had been, gave me skills that small businesses and online personal brands would pay for. For the longest time this was a way to make myself feel normal (because living in the hospital for over a year isn't normal) and now, people were ready to pay me. It was a surreal experience.

I started by offering one time consultations and the more demand increased, the more I realized that I had a very specific niche in mind. I wanted to help online business owners use Instagram to make genuine business connections without spamming or "cold messaging" them.

I made it my personal brand to "stop the 'hey girl' messaging movement," which is essentially the unfortunate standard of small business owners randomly messaging anyone they cross paths with online and asking them if they want to purchase their products.

Especially while we were in the hospital I would receive dozens of spam messages a day from people trying to sell me their products without even taking a moment to look at my page to see what my family has been going through let alone learn my name. That's where the "hey girl" comes from, because they couldn't even be bothered to look at the name on my page.

I called out these sleazy business tactics because I believe social media is meant for true relationship building and connection.

My message took off! My personal brand has become instantly recognizable because I am speaking out about things business owners feel but have been afraid to talk about because nobody else was talking about it — as a result, my business boomed!

I went from focusing on working with people 1:1 into working with more group coaching. This allowed me to scale my business to the point of making over $300,000 in revenue since I started in the fall of 2018, all from a system and strategy I created while in my daughter's hospital room.