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30 Signs You're An Adult (Or In Denial)

Lifestyle

If you were born in the 80s or 90s, the prospect of “adulthood" is ever on the horizon. But when do you officially cross the river Hades and begin the concurrent numerical-ascent and physical-descent into its imminent grasp?


Well, just like its younger sibling “puberty," this next stage of our lives can vary from person to person. But the telltale signs that you've reached the adulting threshold are there.

Ironically, there are 30 of them, and they're listed below.

30 Signs You're an Adult… Or in Denial About It

1. You've fallen asleep in full makeup and clothing on a Saturday night.

With the lights on.

2. Your new [vacuum cleaner] is your favorite purchase of the year so far.

Feel free to substitute: blender, knife set, steamer, space heater, or pots-and-pans here.

If you're an Adult-in-Denial (AiD): a PlayStation console.

3. You've napped in your car on your lunch break to recover from a night out.

And have a strategy (like a blanket or hoodie left in your back seat) to do so more effectively.

4. You smile when they ask for your ID at a bar.

Instead of silently rehearsing your fake birthday and birthplace.

“Millie Thompson, June 3rd, 1986… I mean 1987."

5. You treat your pet like your child… because all of your friends have children.

Everyone knows someone in daycare.

6. The definition of “Coke" changes from a soda to a drug, or vice-versa.

But you need at least one of them to stay awake these days.

7. Your idea of “recreational drugs" are now just prescription drugs for which you have no prescription.

And you're old enough to have binge-watched “Intervention" when it was still on the air.

8. You floss. Like, daily. Sometimes even at work.

And are shameless when your coworkers walk in on you doing it

9. You pay extra to shop online from your couch rather than interact with humans.

And refuse to order anything on Amazon that's not Prime. #FreeShippingOrBust

10. You've caught yourself discussing the economy and real estate markets at parties… with people who are willing and interested.

There was probably a cheese plate involved. Even though you tell people you're “lactose intolerant."

11. You literally just stop caring. Especially about what others think.

And choose to live in a world where “sweatpants" are just called “pants."

12. Espresso makes you poop within the hour.

You also have a list of other natural laxatives lying around your place.

13. You actually get ready for bed, and make sure you get enough sleep to function the next day.

Refer to item #3 for what happens if you don't get your full eight hours.

19. The word “Colonoscopy" suddenly enters your vocabulary.

And you've probably found reviews and Groupons for the best place to get one done.

14. You no longer count the free snacks at work as a “full meal."

And have voiced a strong opinion on which foods they keep in stock. Because you've probably “developed an intolerance" to one of the ingredients, and want everyone to be aware of it.

15. You always bring a dish or drink with you when you visit a friend's place.

You used to wonder who shopped at your local grocery store bakery. Now, you bring festive cookies everywhere you go.

16. You start calling your friend's parents by their first names, instead of Mr./Mrs.

And they're now comfortable sharing what was really going on in your neighborhood, especially during birthday parties.

17. It takes you 2 hours to get drunk... and 2 days to recover.

But by now you've mastered the science experiment of hydration + electrolytes + active charcoal to avoid the inevitable hangover.

18. You buy ice cream whenever you want… and can afford to pay for the good stuff.

Most likely on a Friday night to complement your Netflix date and lack of fucks.

20. You've injured yourself while simply sleeping or stretching.

On numerous, separate occasions. Like when you “bent over wrong to tie your shoe" last week.

21. You now refer to it as “adult" acne.

Subliminally, of course.

22. You no longer share one Netflix account with everyone you know.

But most likely have to keep instructing your parents on how to use it.

23. You pay your taxes on-time. Without your parents reminding you.

Though you might call them for advice just in case.

24. You realize that you can no longer do math without a calculator.

And have forgotten literally everything else they taught you in middle school. How do you even use a protractor in real life?

25. You drive around nice neighborhoods just to admire houses from the outside.

Just like your parents did before you.

26. You find random dark hairs on your face and body.

Which you pay other people good money to deal with removing.

27. You pride yourself on upgrading from shopping at Forever 21 to Zara.

Although you're “Forever 21" at heart… am I right

28. You find ways to justify “sleeping" and “eating" as hobbies.

Yelp is not an activity people. But is sleep?

29. You seriously get down with meditation.

And have probably fallen asleep once or twice while doing it.

30. You realize you're not what you “thought you would be when you grew up."

And there's no more time to do something about it.

5 Min Read
Career

How Fitness Saved My Life and Became My Career

Sometimes it takes falling to rock bottom in order to be built back up again. I learned this many years ago when the life I'd carefully built for myself and my family suddenly changed. But in those times, you learn to lean on those who love you – a friend, family member or someone who can relate to what you've been through. I was lucky enough to have two incredible women help me through one of my lowest moments. They taught me to love myself and inspired me to pass on their lessons each da

If it weren't for the empowering women who stepped up and brought fitness back into my life, I wouldn't be standing – in the door of my own business – today.

In 2010, I was a wife, a mother of three, and had filtered in and out of jobs depending on what my family needed from me. At different points in my career, I've worked in the corporate world, been a stay-at-home mom, and even started my own daycare center. Fitness has always been a part of my life, but at that point being a mom was my main priority. Then, life threw a curveball. My husband and I separated, leading to a very difficult divorce.

These were difficult times. I lost myself in the uncertainty of my future and the stress that comes with a divorce and found myself battling anorexia. Over a matter of months, I lost 40 lbs. and felt surrounded by darkness. I was no longer participating in my health and all efforts to stay active came to a halt. I didn't want to leave my home, I didn't' want to talk to people, and I really did not want to see men. Seeing my struggles, first my sister and then a friend, approached me and invited me to visit the gym.

After months of avoiding it, my sister started taking me to the gym right before closing when it wasn't too busy. We started slow, on the elliptical or the treadmill. This routine got me out of the house and slowly we worked to regain my strength and my self-esteem. When my sister moved away, my good friend and personal trainer started working out with me one-on-one early in the morning, taking time out of her busy schedule to keep me on track toward living a healthy life once again. Even when I didn't want to leave the house, she would encourage me to push myself and I knew I didn't want to let her down. She helped me every step of the way. My sister and my friend brought fitness back into my everyday routine. They saved my life.

I began to rely on fitness, as well as faith, to help me feel like myself again. My friend has since moved away, but, these two women made me feel loved, confident and strong with their empowerment and commitment to me. They made such an incredible impact on me; I knew I needed to pay it forward. I wanted to have the same impact on women in my community. I started by doing little things, like running with a woman who just had a baby to keep her inspired and let her know she's not alone. I made sure not to skip my regular runs, just in case there was a woman watching who needed the inspiration to keep going. These small steps of paying it forward helped me find purpose and belonging. This gave me a new mentality that put me on a path to the opportunity of a lifetime – opening a women's only kickboxing gym, 30 Minute Hit.

About four years ago, I was officially an empty nester. It was time to get myself out of the house too and find what I was truly passionate about, which is easier said than done. Sitting behind a desk, in a cubicle, simply didn't cut it. It was hard to go from an active and chaotic schedule to a very slow paced, uneventful work week. I felt sluggish. Even when I moved to another company where I got to plan events and travel, it was enjoyable, but not fulfilling. I wanted to be a source of comfort to those struggling, as my sister and dear friend had been to me. I wanted to impact others in a way that couldn't be done from behind a desk.

I began to rely on fitness, as well as faith, to help me feel like myself again.

When I heard about 30 Minute Hit, I was nervous to take the leap. But the more I learned about the concept, the more I knew it was the perfect fit for me. Opening my own gym where women can come to let go of their struggles, rely on one another and meet new people is the best way for me to pass on the lessons I learned during my darkest times.

Kickboxing is empowering in itself. Add to it a high energy, female-only environment, and you have yourself a powerhouse! The 30 Minute Hit concept is franchised all over North America, acting as a source of release for women who are just trying to get through their day. I see women of all ages come into my gym, kick the heck out of a punching bag and leave with a smile on their face, often times alongside a new friend. 30 Minute Hit offers a convenient schedule for all women, from busy moms to working women, to students and senior citizens. A schedule-free model allows members to come in whenever they have a free half hour to dedicate to themselves. Offering certified training in kickboxing and a safe environment to let go, 30 Minute Hit is the place for women empowerment and personal growth.

Through my journey, I have learned that everyone is going through something – everyone is on their own path. My motivating factor is knowing that I can touch people's lives everyday just by creating the space for encouragement and community. It's so easy to show people you care. That's the type of environment my team, clients and myself have worked hard to create at our 30 Minute Hit location.

Fitness saved my life. If it weren't for the empowering women who stepped up and brought fitness back into my life, I wouldn't be standing – in the door of my own business – today. The perfect example of women empowering women – the foundation to invincibility.

This article was originally published September 12, 2019.